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    Tbh, he's part of what makes the nightmares so bad

    I have this dream.......

    Spoiler:
    I see Michael, fading into a misty landscape, his arms held out to me, calling to me. And I try, I try really hard to reach him.... but Martin appears and I get distacted, and before I know it it's too late.......

    It reminds me of this song,
    Lyrics
    Spoiler:
    out of the land of shadows and
    darkness, we were returning
    Towards the morning light
    Almost in reach of places I knew
    Escaping the ghosts of Yesterday
    You were behind me following
    closely
    "Don't turn around now"
    I heard you whisper in my ear
    "If you should turn now,
    All that you want
    Will vanish just like a passing dream.
    Just on the very verge of the
    morning, daylight was dawning,
    freedom was but a step away
    Now with the deep dark river
    behind us,
    what could go wrong if I stayed
    strong in mind.
    What was the sudden lapse into
    madness, what was the urge that
    turned my head around to look at him?

    What was the stubborn will
    to destroy the love and the joy
    I nearly held?

    three times the thunder roared
    in my ears
    In all of my years I'll see that lost
    look in your eyes.

    As, with a sigh like smoke in the wind
    You slipped from my grasp into
    the waiting shadows
    so much I longed to say,
    but my touch found only the
    empty air and a black nights
    coldness.
    lnto another world you gone
    And never again I can reclaim you.
    and I wake with it loud in my head. And it breaks my heart again.


    And I know it's all in my head, but still.....
    Last edited by Jumble; 12 November 2009, 08:45 PM.

    Comment


      Originally posted by jumble View Post
      Tbh, he's part of what makes the nightmares so bad

      I have this dream.......

      Spoiler:
      I see Michael, fading into a misty landscape, his arms held out to me, calling to me. And I try, I try really hard to reach him.... but Martin appears and I get distacted, and before I know it it's too late.......

      It reminds me of this song, and I wake with it loud in my head. And it breaks my heart again.


      And I know it's all in my head, but still.....
      Awww Jumble *more huggles* I'm not sure what to say to help and I have no advice to give ...Probably won't help but did you try some wine? Maybe that'll help your nerves a bit.

      My Fanfiction My Sam/Jack vids (yahoo) My LJ
      Thanks everyone for my b-day icons and sigs!
      Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. ~Eleanor Roosevelt

      Comment


        Originally posted by Regularamanda View Post
        Awww Jumble *more huggles* I'm not sure what to say to help and I have no advice to give ...Probably won't help but did you try some wine? Maybe that'll help your nerves a bit.
        *hugs Amanda* Honestly, nothing really helps...... but thanks for being there and listening.

        I've tried the wine, it's not helping

        Comment


          Originally posted by jumble View Post
          *hugs Amanda* Honestly, nothing really helps...... but thanks for being there and listening.

          I've tried the wine, it's not helping
          It's what I'm here for.

          Maybe something stronger than wine? Seriously though I wish there was some easy way for you to relieve pain, you can't even get away from it in your dreams.

          My Fanfiction My Sam/Jack vids (yahoo) My LJ
          Thanks everyone for my b-day icons and sigs!
          Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. ~Eleanor Roosevelt

          Comment


            Originally posted by Regularamanda View Post
            It's what I'm here for.

            Maybe something stronger than wine? Seriously though I wish there was some easy way for you to relieve pain, you can't even get away from it in your dreams.
            Oh, poor Amanda to be the only one here to hear me rant

            Time will help, I'm sure it will. Maybe the dreams happen because I hold it together so tightly when I'm awake? Common sense tells me that there has to be some release.

            Poor Martin, I feel like I'm blaming him for my misery
            Last edited by Jumble; 12 November 2009, 08:38 PM.

            Comment


              Originally posted by jumble View Post
              Oh, poor Amanda to be the only one here to hear me rant

              Time will help, I'm sure it will. Maybe the dreams happen because I hold it together so tightly when I'm awake? Common sense tells me that there has to be some release.

              Poor Martin, I feel like I'm blaming him for my misery
              I don't mind.

              That seems very possible. Maybe if you talked about it more (not that you'd want to though because it wood only cause you were pain I'm sure) but if you get those feelings out (yell, hit something...hit something soft ) do something to just get it out, maybe that will help and then it won't be bottled up and coming out in your dreams.

              Martin wood understand I'm sure

              My Fanfiction My Sam/Jack vids (yahoo) My LJ
              Thanks everyone for my b-day icons and sigs!
              Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. ~Eleanor Roosevelt

              Comment


                Originally posted by Regularamanda View Post
                I don't mind.
                *hugs you*

                That seems very possible. Maybe if you talked about it more (not that you'd want to though because it wood only cause you were pain I'm sure) but if you get those feelings out (yell, hit something...hit something soft ) do something to just get it out, maybe that will help and then it won't be bottled up and coming out in your dreams.
                It's hard...... I hate to do it here because I know my WooHoos feel for me....... I hate that it upsets everyone

                Martin wood understand I'm sure
                *hugs him* If he's the man I think he is, he probably wood

                Comment


                  Originally posted by jumble View Post
                  *hugs you*

                  It's hard...... I hate to do it here because I know my WooHoos feel for me....... I hate that it upsets everyone

                  *hugs him* If he's the man I think he is, he probably wood
                  *hugs back*

                  We all understand Jumble and you know we're here when you do have the need to rant/yell/whatever. And we only get upset because we know it's getting you upset and we don't want that. But we'd rather know that you're not okay than think that you are when you're not.

                  Exactly

                  My Fanfiction My Sam/Jack vids (yahoo) My LJ
                  Thanks everyone for my b-day icons and sigs!
                  Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. ~Eleanor Roosevelt

                  Comment


                    OhMiGod!!! Someone is actually sticking up for OBPTB

                    Here

                    Comment


                      Originally posted by Regularamanda View Post
                      *hugs back*

                      We all understand Jumble and you know we're here when you do have the need to rant/yell/whatever. And we only get upset because we know it's getting you upset and we don't want that. But we'd rather know that you're not okay than think that you are when you're not.
                      I know..... and I love you all for that, but it just goes against the grain for me to put my pain onto my friends.

                      Exactly
                      You know, if I ever found out that he's not the perfect man I think he is...... it'll break my heart all over again

                      And yet, common sense tells me that he can't really be that perfect...

                      But I'd still love him anyway

                      Ok, it's past 5am, I really should try to sleep

                      Thanks Amanda, I really appreciate you being here for me *hugs*

                      I sometimes find it hard to remember how young you are, you're so mature in many ways

                      Comment


                        Originally posted by jumble View Post
                        OhMiGod!!! Someone is actually sticking up for OBPTB

                        Here
                        Go figure!

                        I hate it when all they do on there is lash out on the PTB and blame them and all that crap. Granted I've been onto other threads that despise OBPTB but still. At least the PTB still know we're around and most of the time Joe doesn't have that much snarck towards us.

                        My Fanfiction My Sam/Jack vids (yahoo) My LJ
                        Thanks everyone for my b-day icons and sigs!
                        Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. ~Eleanor Roosevelt

                        Comment


                          Originally posted by Regularamanda View Post
                          Go figure!

                          I hate it when all they do on there is lash out on the PTB and blame them and all that crap. Granted I've been onto other threads that despise OBPTB but still. At least the PTB still know we're around and most of the time Joe doesn't have that much snarck towards us.
                          It's times like these that I really hope they do know about this thread. Lord knows they need a bit of positive support lately

                          WoodNight

                          Comment


                            Originally posted by jumble View Post
                            I know..... and I love you all for that, but it just goes against the grain for me to put my pain onto my friends.

                            You know, if I ever found out that he's not the perfect man I think he is...... it'll break my heart all over again

                            And yet, common sense tells me that he can't really be that perfect...

                            But I'd still love him anyway

                            Ok, it's past 5am, I really should try to sleep

                            Thanks Amanda, I really appreciate you being here for me *hugs*

                            I sometimes find it hard to remember how young you are, you're so mature in many ways
                            But it's not healthy for you either to keep it bottled up inside...just remember that

                            Aww, Martin has a lot to live up to I think...but I'm sure he's pretty high up there on you expectations

                            Get some rest! Night!

                            You're welcome. I'm really glad you weren't here alone on the thread though so at least you could talk about it a little bit *huggles* and aww thanks I'm totally taking that as a complement! My parents have been told by one of my teachers in 9th grade that I have an 'old soul'

                            My Fanfiction My Sam/Jack vids (yahoo) My LJ
                            Thanks everyone for my b-day icons and sigs!
                            Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. ~Eleanor Roosevelt

                            Comment


                              *whisks in and squishy-hugs Jumble* I know I told Michael squishy hugs were almost always happy, but there are exceptions to every rule! We love you, sweet Jumble! Give yourself time to sort through the ugliness of what happened and let yourself off the hook when you just feel like hiding away!
                              sigpic

                              Comment


                                *huggles Jumble tightly. Nobody excepts you to have it all figured out now! Sometimes it's good to talk about it, or like Amanda suggested just hit something outta frustration (preferably a pillow). As for blaming Martin...it happens, your mind is thinking of a way to figure it all out and perhaps it subconciously thinks this is a way out or so..
                                *huggles again*
                                sigpic

                                Comment

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