Originally posted by marimba26
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So I'm one of those older members who doesn't play here much any more and it's probably about time I said why to the forum since I am the very demographic we're discussing with this new mission statement.
I have always (even when I violently disagree) tried to be constructive and polite. Period. It was Shadowma'at that taught me that there is a person behind that post (even though I've never told her that). She unknowingly taught me that the day I met her in 2004 at the Gateworld dinner. There were people there who had NEVER MET HER and yet were horrible to her. In person. I didn't much care for what she had to say at the time and she and I still disagree on many things. But she is a person. Who has become a friend. And no matter what she (or anyone else here) says, there is no reason to EVER be mean and rude because there is a person behind that post and every post. So that day, at that dinner, I realized that there might be a potential friend there behind the post that I didn't agree with. So it is my responsibility to be careful what I say and rewrite until I say what I mean without attacking that person (or delete the entry if I can't). And I have since made many friends whose philosophies were dramatically different from my own but we all have one thing in common--we love the show (or at least used to/want to).
That said, I haven't played here much in more than a year because I have gotten sick of all the sniping and camps. I have tired of people who say things to others that they would never say to them in person. One camp hates the other and vice versa. I won't bring up particular groups because that is not the point of this post but this kind of behavior is divisive and it is miserable for those of us who just come here to get away and have a little fun.
I came into Atlantis from SG-1, so I'm an old-timer you might say. There were many I disagreed with in the SG-1 fandom but they played their way and I played mine. And we had fun. But when I shifted to the new show, all of a sudden, it was not okay to like people who had opposing viewpoints any more. The SGA fandom quickly formed violent camps that refused to acknowledge any viewpoint but their own and many were forced to pick sides or risk being ostracized by the very people they agree with. I am not here to pick sides. Never was. I just want to play and have fun. But it stopped being fun when I started getting attacked by people who didn't care for my taste. When I started getting called names by people who were FORMER threadmates in the old fandom and everything escalated to outright hatred, that's when I said enough.
And when Gateworld tried to put a stop to it, those who were guiltiest cried 'censorship'. The First Amendment is not a shield for bad behavior. Period. It does not protect those who would slander, libel or defame, it only says that you may say what you wish. On your own nickel. Last I checked, this was Darren's nickel and he was kind enough to share it with the rest of us. He does NOT however have to put up with bad behavior. Just as you may write a letter to your newspaper and they may choose whether or not to print it. The Constitution protects your right to say what you please. It does not require others to listen or to reprint or otherwise forward your opinion.
As owner of this forum, Darren (and the moderators) decide ultimately what kind of place this will be by the rules/policies they set. This used to be a great place to play. This was the place where shippers like me could come and express their love of something and not be persecuted for it. And I can speak to this because I tried two other major forums before landing here. And in the last year, Gateworld has sadly joined the ranks of those other forums by trying to give people the experience they claim they want. All the while being disparaged other places by those very people. And those of us who have tried to be considerate and remember that there are people behind those posts have chosen to go away quietly rather than suffer a free-for-all environment where only those who cry the loudest are taken seriously (even though they are often the biggest offenders).
So I am behind this change. And those who wish to cry foul should remember that they also were once welcomed here with open arms.
I have always (even when I violently disagree) tried to be constructive and polite. Period. It was Shadowma'at that taught me that there is a person behind that post (even though I've never told her that). She unknowingly taught me that the day I met her in 2004 at the Gateworld dinner. There were people there who had NEVER MET HER and yet were horrible to her. In person. I didn't much care for what she had to say at the time and she and I still disagree on many things. But she is a person. Who has become a friend. And no matter what she (or anyone else here) says, there is no reason to EVER be mean and rude because there is a person behind that post and every post. So that day, at that dinner, I realized that there might be a potential friend there behind the post that I didn't agree with. So it is my responsibility to be careful what I say and rewrite until I say what I mean without attacking that person (or delete the entry if I can't). And I have since made many friends whose philosophies were dramatically different from my own but we all have one thing in common--we love the show (or at least used to/want to).
That said, I haven't played here much in more than a year because I have gotten sick of all the sniping and camps. I have tired of people who say things to others that they would never say to them in person. One camp hates the other and vice versa. I won't bring up particular groups because that is not the point of this post but this kind of behavior is divisive and it is miserable for those of us who just come here to get away and have a little fun.
I came into Atlantis from SG-1, so I'm an old-timer you might say. There were many I disagreed with in the SG-1 fandom but they played their way and I played mine. And we had fun. But when I shifted to the new show, all of a sudden, it was not okay to like people who had opposing viewpoints any more. The SGA fandom quickly formed violent camps that refused to acknowledge any viewpoint but their own and many were forced to pick sides or risk being ostracized by the very people they agree with. I am not here to pick sides. Never was. I just want to play and have fun. But it stopped being fun when I started getting attacked by people who didn't care for my taste. When I started getting called names by people who were FORMER threadmates in the old fandom and everything escalated to outright hatred, that's when I said enough.
And when Gateworld tried to put a stop to it, those who were guiltiest cried 'censorship'. The First Amendment is not a shield for bad behavior. Period. It does not protect those who would slander, libel or defame, it only says that you may say what you wish. On your own nickel. Last I checked, this was Darren's nickel and he was kind enough to share it with the rest of us. He does NOT however have to put up with bad behavior. Just as you may write a letter to your newspaper and they may choose whether or not to print it. The Constitution protects your right to say what you please. It does not require others to listen or to reprint or otherwise forward your opinion.
As owner of this forum, Darren (and the moderators) decide ultimately what kind of place this will be by the rules/policies they set. This used to be a great place to play. This was the place where shippers like me could come and express their love of something and not be persecuted for it. And I can speak to this because I tried two other major forums before landing here. And in the last year, Gateworld has sadly joined the ranks of those other forums by trying to give people the experience they claim they want. All the while being disparaged other places by those very people. And those of us who have tried to be considerate and remember that there are people behind those posts have chosen to go away quietly rather than suffer a free-for-all environment where only those who cry the loudest are taken seriously (even though they are often the biggest offenders).
So I am behind this change. And those who wish to cry foul should remember that they also were once welcomed here with open arms.
*applauds*....but then I knew that common sense would come from you my dear....
The krux of the matter to me is not whether a person's opinions are right or wrong but the courtesy that should be awarded to ALL forum members.....manners cost nothing, in real life or on-line....if you can't put your point across without being civil, then don't bother imho...
Deeds xx
People can't even bother to read the forum rules and apply even the simplest of them.
....
)
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