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Things they wouldn't want to hear during Atlantis' weekly update.

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    #16
    Weir sitting at the conference table with the science team:

    Weir: So, Sheppard's team stepped through the 'gate, then all the systems crashed and all we can get is 'This operation has performed a critical error. Please shut down Windows and reboot your system.' What the hell do we do now?
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    My LJ & Fics * Proud Member of W.A.S.P. * Pay It Forward

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      #17
      "Attention all personnel:

      Drs McKay and Zelenka have accidentally initiated the self destruct after trying to install Windows Vista into the Ancient Database...

      ...Anybody know how to Install linux?"
      sigpic
      Part 2 coming very soon!! (this is a fic btw, not the Fandemonium novel)

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        #18
        Sheppard to Earth: We've go a problem down here. Elizabeths been abducted by the Wraith, Ford came here and is now picking a fight with Ronon, Teyla and her people are having a leadership election and McKay's blown up a solar system again AND i'm out of hair gel..............................I CAN'T FIX THIS WITHOUT MY HAIR GEL!!!!!
        Please do me a huge favour and help me be with the love of my life.

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          #19
          Weir to Earth: Hallowed are the Ori...
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          My LJ & Fics * Proud Member of W.A.S.P. * Pay It Forward

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            #20
            Originally posted by Elles View Post
            Weir to Earth: We're having an emergency evacuation back to Earth! Sheppard lost his hair gel and is going on a rampage!

            McKay to Earth: *snicker* Beckett got *cough*involved*cough* with a woman from a *snicker* different race... *snicker* and now he's... *snicker* pregnant. *maniacal laughter*
            Beckett (in background): Somebody help me! My water broke!
            that was absolutely wonderful Elles!! i'd green ya, but i have to spread first

            Weir to Earth: We're having techincal difficulties with our shield generator. Please don't send anyone through as we can't lower *thwack!* What the hell was that?!

            Carter: Uh... that was Daniel. Don't worry though. He should descend in five minutes.... Oh, and he tends to descend in the nude.

            Weir: Damn, you guys are lucky!
            I'm a Slasher. I slash. It's what I do.
            sigpic

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              #21
              Originally posted by Elles View Post
              Weir to Earth: We're having an emergency evacuation back to Earth! Sheppard lost his hair gel and is going on a rampage!

              McKay to Earth: *snicker* Beckett got *cough*involved*cough* with a woman from a *snicker* different race... *snicker* and now he's... *snicker* pregnant. *maniacal laughter*
              Beckett (in background): Somebody help me! My water broke!
              Didn't that happen on SG1? Oh wait - it was ENTERPRISE. No wonder that show got cancelled.
              "The Clarke Postulate - One's ability to correctly explain advanced theoretical thermodynamics as applied to string theory within a fictional context is directly related to one's ability to cook the perfect lemon chicken with mushrooms in a nice garlic butter sauce. While some use this unexpected correlation as proof of intelligent design, I believe that its all about the person's choice of mushrooms.

              I also believe that there is a tear developing in the space-time continuum which if left uncheck will allow Microsoft to become a world power. I suspect that unless we all download Firefox 3 on the same day, thus sealing the tear, that life as we know it may be over and children will have their teddy bears and blankets ripped mercilessly from their arms.

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                #22
                i liked that episode.

                Rodney to Carter: What do you want?
                Carter: Nice to see you too McKay.
                Rodney: Yeah yeah yeah hi...................now stand up and turn around so I can check out your ass. I can't do it when I'm watching you on a screen
                Please do me a huge favour and help me be with the love of my life.

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                  #23
                  Earth to Weir: Someone leaked the Gate program. You'll have a delegation coming through in five m-hello? Hello? What's all that smoke?

                  Weir to Earth: Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Good.
                  It's a dangerous business going out your front door.
                  --J.R.R. Tolkien

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                    #24
                    "We are the Borg. You will be assimilated. Your technological and individual distinctiveness will be added to our own. Resistence is futile. Now bow before us and sing 'I'm a little borg, short and stout, here is my handle, here is my spout..."
                    "The Clarke Postulate - One's ability to correctly explain advanced theoretical thermodynamics as applied to string theory within a fictional context is directly related to one's ability to cook the perfect lemon chicken with mushrooms in a nice garlic butter sauce. While some use this unexpected correlation as proof of intelligent design, I believe that its all about the person's choice of mushrooms.

                    I also believe that there is a tear developing in the space-time continuum which if left uncheck will allow Microsoft to become a world power. I suspect that unless we all download Firefox 3 on the same day, thus sealing the tear, that life as we know it may be over and children will have their teddy bears and blankets ripped mercilessly from their arms.

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                      #25
                      "Weir to Earth. Have the Daedalus send more toilet tissue."

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                        #26
                        Originally posted by Lilith View Post
                        that was absolutely wonderful Elles!! i'd green ya, but i have to spread first
                        Thank you. I take pride in that myself.

                        To see a picture of me in the Miss Teen America pageant, click here.

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                          #27
                          Wier to Earth: I now pronounce you husband and wife John, you may kiss the bride
                          McKay: Get it over with already Kirk

                          Earth to Wier: SGC is under lockdown, Walter has been infected with some sort of virus that's making him act very strangely
                          Watler: Oh My God General, You're wearing that shirt with those shoes, ooohhh, You are so delicious, I could just eat you up right now.


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                            #28
                            Mckay's working on some valuable peice of ancient tech when the radio message echoes through out Atlantis.

                            Wier: Meredith McKay, please report to my office.
                            I write articles/features/reviews for I'm With Geek.com now. Check out our stuff if you get a minute!

                            sigpic
                            Click on sig to check out my fanfic gallery too!

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                              #29
                              Weir: Everything's going wonderfully. Dr. McKay found another criogenetically frozen Ancient. We expect to revive him by.... COLONEL SHEPPARD!!! WHERE ARE YOUR PANTS?!?!?!?!
                              I'm a Slasher. I slash. It's what I do.
                              sigpic

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                                #30
                                Wier: Go on, shave your hair off for charity
                                Ronan: No, i love my hair. Shes been with me all these years that ive been running, i cant betray her.
                                John: Sure you can, being bald is just the same as when you dont wear pants.
                                When all technology has failed and all hope is lost, we will realize we had the ultimate advantage all along...

                                MAY BANJOS RULE THE WORLD!!!
                                The reason my chemistry teacher hates me:
                                Spoiler:
                                MBA (my chemistry teacher): What is Avagadros constant?
                                Me: 6 and a bit times 10 to the 23.
                                MBA: Yea, you know that "bit" is two billion trillion?
                                Me: Im barnsley and hung over, a bit will do
                                AND
                                MBA: What do we do to the number of moles to get the number of atoms?
                                Me: Times it by that really big number!
                                MBA: Yes, that really big number, what is it?
                                Me: How should i know?
                                MBA: Its on the board
                                Me: Then whats the point in asking???

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