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Things they would never ever ever say

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    #316
    On a not-so-normal day in the SGC:

    Daniel: Vala, I've always wanted to meet someone like you.
    Vala: Daniel, I think you're the ugliest man I've ever met. Go away.
    Daniel: Please, Vala! I adore you!
    Vala: Earth scum!
    Daniel: Fine, then if I can't have you, NO ONE WILL!
    Vala: Daniel! What are you doing with that gun!?
    Daniel: [firing with great enthusiasm] TAKE THAT, VALA!


    Meanwhile...

    Carter: Jack, I have something to tell you.
    Jack: What's that, my sammy-kins?
    Carter: I just found out that my mother isn't really dead. She staged her own death and is now working as a spy for an evil alien race. She's planning to kill you as well as every other member of the SGC and current world governments.
    Jack: Don't worry pumpkin, I'll protect you from her!
    Carter: Oh, she's not going to kill me. I've just switched to her side!
    Jack: Ha ha, very funny...wait...are you serious, sweetums?
    Carter: It's been fun, but goodbye Jack. [pulls out zat, fires twice, laughs] This is for you, mommy!
    Jack: [falling, hits a wall]
    Carter: Now Carters will RULE THE EARTH! MWA HA HA HA HA!


    (Now, aren't you glad they're not really psychopaths?)
    Last edited by Tiret; 16 January 2006, 05:37 PM.

    Comment

      #317
      Anubis: Squeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

      Comment

        #318
        Originally posted by Tiret
        On a not-so-normal day in the SGC:

        Daniel: Vala, I've always wanted to meet someone like you.
        Vala: Daniel, I think you're the ugliest man I've ever met. Go away.
        Daniel: Please, Vala! I adore you!
        Vala: Earth scum!
        Daniel: Fine, then if I can't have you, NO ONE WILL!
        Vala: Daniel! What are you doing with that gun!?
        Daniel: [firing with great enthusiasm] TAKE THAT, VALA!
        And then...



        (and somehow seeing that picture right above Willy & his Furling buddies just strikes me as funny, assuming of course that you can see my signature...)
        "The Clarke Postulate - One's ability to correctly explain advanced theoretical thermodynamics as applied to string theory within a fictional context is directly related to one's ability to cook the perfect lemon chicken with mushrooms in a nice garlic butter sauce. While some use this unexpected correlation as proof of intelligent design, I believe that its all about the person's choice of mushrooms.

        I also believe that there is a tear developing in the space-time continuum which if left uncheck will allow Microsoft to become a world power. I suspect that unless we all download Firefox 3 on the same day, thus sealing the tear, that life as we know it may be over and children will have their teddy bears and blankets ripped mercilessly from their arms.

        Comment

          #319
          Originally posted by chyron
          (and somehow seeing that picture right above Willy & his Furling buddies just strikes me as funny, assuming of course that you can see my signature...)
          Ah yes! Mitchell, I know just what you can do with that gun...

          Comment

            #320
            anubis goes to orilla...and goes to speak with the asgard high counsil...
            he says: i demand that you buy TV's for the tau'ri and air pokemon!!!

            freyr says: why? what are you talking about?

            anubis: my mothership was sucked into a black hole and i want to see the end of the episode!!!! and besideds...digimon is next!!!

            Comment

              #321
              Thor: I'm a hairy gorilla, short and stout...

              Comment

                #322
                Vala: daniel...theres something you must know...i am inlove with the doci...i am carrying his baby...we are going to ger married...ohh and your'e not invited...

                daniel: ok...i didnt want to come anyway!
                (damn!!!...i though i was going to eat cake this time...)

                Comment

                  #323
                  Originally posted by rarocks24
                  Jack- Does anyone know how RA got to have the pyramid thingy on the Stargate if the Stargate was built far far FAR before pyramids were ever built?
                  You know thats a really good point. I never thought about that.
                  Andromeda Fate
                  Something you need to ask yourself everyday, with every decision - WWMD "What Would McKay Do?"
                  "In my culture, I would be well within my rights to dismember you" - Teal'c
                  "Go suck a lemon!" - Carter
                  "Like everyone else, I lived in a house bricked up with seconds and minutes, weekends and New Year's Days, and I never went outside until I died, because there was no other door. Now I know that I could have walked through the walls." - Peter S. Beagle
                  "I hope your apple pie is frickin' worth it!" - Supernatural

                  Comment

                    #324
                    McKay: sam carter? no, i don't even like her anymore. has anyone seen that new guy, mitchell? yum-me!

                    Comment

                      #325
                      Jack: I googled myself yesterday.
                      Teal'c: I do not feel the need to google.
                      Sam: Wayyy, wayyyyy too much information.
                      ----------------------------------------
                      Shep: Rodney! I need that C-4 now!
                      Rodney: Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.
                      (Sheppard cocks a P-90 and holds it to Rodney's head)
                      Rodney: Now that constitutes an emergency.
                      "The Clarke Postulate - One's ability to correctly explain advanced theoretical thermodynamics as applied to string theory within a fictional context is directly related to one's ability to cook the perfect lemon chicken with mushrooms in a nice garlic butter sauce. While some use this unexpected correlation as proof of intelligent design, I believe that its all about the person's choice of mushrooms.

                      I also believe that there is a tear developing in the space-time continuum which if left uncheck will allow Microsoft to become a world power. I suspect that unless we all download Firefox 3 on the same day, thus sealing the tear, that life as we know it may be over and children will have their teddy bears and blankets ripped mercilessly from their arms.

                      Comment

                        #326
                        My favorites so far (I haven't read the whole thread yet):

                        "Vala: Not tonight, Daniel, I have a Headache."
                        LMAO! Yeah, she would never say that!

                        "Teal'c: Unless I get to say something the next time we go on a mission I'm not going to do the eyebrow thing. That's right. No talk, no eyebrow."
                        lol

                        "Sheppard: Rodney, how do you wear those thongs without having them ride up? Mine's killing me."
                        Ok, that's pretty disturbing...

                        "Teal'c: i have a weird rash on my mik'ta..."
                        Lol. Hilarious, yet it sounds so wrong.

                        "Thor (singing): I'm too sexy for this shirt, too sexy for this shirt, soooo sexy it hurts."
                        What can I say? It doesn't get much funnier than that.

                        "Sheppard: I'm a little teapot nice and stout..."
                        Lol.

                        "McKay: "Can RepliCarter run on AA batteries?""
                        Lol, funny, and also a little disturbing, if you think about what he'd probably be thinking about. I could see McKay saying that.

                        This thread's great. I'll post one of my own when I think of one.

                        Comment

                          #327
                          mckay: do you guys know britney spears?
                          atlantis crew: who doesnt!?!??!!??!?
                          mckay: oh...good...respect me!!! she is my twin sister!!1

                          Comment

                            #328
                            Originally posted by Thor of The Asgard
                            mckay: do you guys know britney spears?
                            atlantis crew: who doesnt!?!??!!??!?
                            mckay: oh...good...respect me!!! she is my twin sister!!1
                            So that's who McKay really
                            Spoiler:
                            sent the video to
                            in "Letters From Pegasus."

                            Mitchell: I wish I hadn't put this group of imbeciles back together, I should have chosen that new team I was offered.
                            "Che idiota fa una cosa del genere! Gli americani non pensare cose del genere?!"
                            " 'Idiot' and 'American' I think were cognates? I'm going to assume you're not talking about me so we can work together better."
                            Ambassador Isabelle Cooper-Oxford and Lt. Col. Stephen "Steve" Hamrick ~ "Discoveries"

                            Discover a … New Galaxy

                            Look for a … New Adventure

                            Find a … New Mythology

                            Comment

                              #329
                              doci: the ori are lying to us! they are not gods! they are weak ass holes! and by the way...the goa'uld kick ass!

                              Ori ascended being: oh boy...he discovered the truth...yes you are right!
                              i shall tell the truth! its is us! the ori are in fact ascended symbiotes!

                              Comment

                                #330
                                Originally posted by Thor of The Asgard
                                mckay: do you guys know britney spears?
                                atlantis crew: who doesnt!?!??!!??!?
                                mckay: oh...good...respect me!!! she is my twin sister!!1
                                Thor: We apologize for being unavailable, but we have been rebuilding our fleet.
                                Mitchell: The boys are back!
                                Thor: We have taken this opportunity to build our largest ship yet.
                                Mitchell: Sweet! Did you name it the Hammond?
                                Thor: No, we have named it the Britney Spears.
                                "The Clarke Postulate - One's ability to correctly explain advanced theoretical thermodynamics as applied to string theory within a fictional context is directly related to one's ability to cook the perfect lemon chicken with mushrooms in a nice garlic butter sauce. While some use this unexpected correlation as proof of intelligent design, I believe that its all about the person's choice of mushrooms.

                                I also believe that there is a tear developing in the space-time continuum which if left uncheck will allow Microsoft to become a world power. I suspect that unless we all download Firefox 3 on the same day, thus sealing the tear, that life as we know it may be over and children will have their teddy bears and blankets ripped mercilessly from their arms.

                                Comment

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