Fanfic Pet Peeves

[Skydiver]

if it's a PWP, label it as shameless smut.

and do we even want to get into the smut peeves???

sam is always...well the opposite of jack who is ALWAYS well endowed
jack is always well endowed
he never has equipment failure (dude, he's over 50, things start to get tricky then)
the sex is always mulitpully orgasmic
there's never missteps or mistakes
condoms are rarely necessary cause they are always tested all the time
sam never says 'not tonight, i got a headache'
the sheets are never messed up
both are always the best lovers the other has ever had

I'm not saying it can't be fun and the culmonation of the author's dreams but...well, there's the clinical terms, tab A into slot B fic, and then there's the 'every slang term you can think of' porn movie, and most fun of all, is the person writing explicit sex that has obviously never had sex...cause what they're writing ain't remotely anatomically possible unless sam or jack or both are Yoga masters

[starfox]

if it's a PWP, label it as shameless smut.

and do we even want to get into the smut peeves???

sam is always...well the opposite of jack who is ALWAYS well endowed
jack is always well endowed
he never has equipment failure (dude, he's over 50, things start to get tricky then)
the sex is always mulitpully orgasmic
there's never missteps or mistakes
condoms are rarely necessary cause they are always tested all the time
sam never says 'not tonight, i got a headache'
the sheets are never messed up
both are always the best lovers the other has ever had

I'm not saying it can't be fun and the culmonation of the author's dreams but...well, there's the clinical terms, tab A into slot B fic, and then there's the 'every slang term you can think of' porn movie, and most fun of all, is the person writing explicit sex that has obviously never had sex...cause what they're writing ain't remotely anatomically possible unless sam or jack or both are Yoga masters

I've read enough well-written smut that I'll just stop half-way through the bad stuff if it hits one of my "wtf" buttons.

There was a Bad Sex Challenge a little while ago; I don't know if it was strictly McKay/Sheppard or open to all pairings, but the ones I read were great. Awkward positioning, having to stop and find supplies/protection, Tab A and/or Slot B not cooperating, etc.

I'd love to see more of the real sex issues explored in fic. Though that's not to say kinky, multi-orgasmic fic can't be fun, too.

[Skydiver]

yeah, smut is supposed to be fun. and there's nothing wrong with it, it's just sometimes that you shake your head and go 'what were they thinking' and move on

[scifithinker]

Thanks for the explanations. I still don't get it though. I guess it's just one thing I'm destined to not understand, probably because I don't generally do the fandom thing.

I can understand not reading something with a certain relationship because it comes off as totally unrealistic, but that requires actually trying the fic first. I mean, heck, it happens with the standard ships. I can't count how many O'Neill/Carter fics I walked away from because they just weren't.... right. But that doesn't mean seeing J/S is going to send me packing without even looking. I guess that's the component that doesn't compute for me - automatically dismissing a fic, based solely on the declared relationship(s), without giving it a chance. Who knows, maybe that's the one person who can pull it off and keep everyone in character. Or maybe the relationship's so minor a component it would be palatable. But you'll never know if you don't even give it a chance.

I don't know. I guess I'm the odd ball on this issue. I just look at my own stuff and when I started, I never once dreamed it would go Baal/Carter, but it did and it worked. I never considered not developing the relationship once I realized how much it worked but I fully expected to lose people because of this very issue. And you know, I was surprised, it didn't happen - at least not en masse. So I dunno, maybe people need to stray beyond their comfort zones every once in a little while.

I shall now step off the soapbox and return to lurkdom.

There are a lot of stories on my to read list. They got there because it's an author I like or someone recommended them to me. Because my backlist is so long, I usually skip fics with odd pairings-- like Baal/Carter. Your fic, however, comes highly recommended by some folks whose opinions I respect, so it's on my list. Otherwise I would dismiss it out of hand simply because of time pressure. I acknowledge some stories of quality seem OOC based on the synopsis alone, but I'm willing to give them a shot when encouraged to do so. I'm just not likely to jump in feet first without a good reason to do so.

[sbz]

There are a lot of stories on my to read list. They got there because it's an author I like or someone recommended them to me. Because my backlist is so long, I usually skip fics with odd pairings-- like Baal/Carter. Your fic, however, comes highly recommended by some folks whose opinions I respect, so it's on my list. Otherwise I would dismiss it out of hand simply because of time pressure. I acknowledge some stories of quality seem OOC based on the synopsis alone, but I'm willing to give them a shot when encouraged to do so. I'm just not likely to jump in feet first without a good reason to do so.

That's reasoning I understand compared to not reading something because of a stated pairing without giving the fic a chance.

So, thanks for being open minded. Or maybe I should thank whoever recommended it.

[Mousie]

if it's a PWP, label it as shameless smut.

and do we even want to get into the smut peeves???

sam is always...well the opposite of jack who is ALWAYS well endowed
jack is always well endowed
he never has equipment failure (dude, he's over 50, things start to get tricky then)
the sex is always mulitpully orgasmic
there's never missteps or mistakes
condoms are rarely necessary cause they are always tested all the time
sam never says 'not tonight, i got a headache'
the sheets are never messed up
both are always the best lovers the other has ever had

I'm not saying it can't be fun and the culmonation of the author's dreams but...well, there's the clinical terms, tab A into slot B fic, and then there's the 'every slang term you can think of' porn movie, and most fun of all, is the person writing explicit sex that has obviously never had sex...cause what they're writing ain't remotely anatomically possible unless sam or jack or both are Yoga masters

Sam is always chastely innocent in the ways of 'adult entertainment' because she only slept with Jonas once or twice before she split up with him and hasn't been touched, or even thought about it, since then.

[starfox]

A Law & Order fic I attempted to read just reminded me of another peeve I have: Original Characters that exist just to be a canon character's significant other. If you're talking about backstory, fine, but don't bring in an OC and make her a canon character's soulmate. Write as many fics as you want about Sheppard's ex-wife or Rodney's failed relationships, but once you create a character for the express purpose of being soulmates/spouses with another character, you're courting Mary Sue territory. Especially in a fandom like Stargate where there are so many minor characters to use, instead.

I've found that as far as OCs go, the more that are present in the story, the less likely they are to be Mary Sues.

I read a L&O fic where a department's budget was increased, therefore allowing them to hire two new employees, who were then paired together. Fine. It's explained well and even though some of the characters have a history together, they're not automatically best buds and focused on to the exclusion of existing character relationships. I read a Harry Potter fic that takes place in the distant future and therefore involves lots of original characters as co-workers, friends, and roommates. That's fine; it doesn't privilege one OC over the other.


Basically, 20 OCs tells me the writer's just trying to flesh out the universe. 1 OC in a romantic relationship with a main character tells me to be on Mary Sue(/Gary Stu) alert.

[jasminaGo]

Another peeve, which I don't think was mentioned before. Using one word over and over and over and over and over and over (you get my point) again when it really isn't necessary.

"He was reluctant to do it...He went along reluctantly...Although he was reluctant, he still agreed to help...And the fact the he was reluctant..."

It makes me wanna scream. "Alright, he's reluctant, I got it! Move on!!!"

[Womble]

Another peeve, which I don't think was mentioned before. Using one word over and over and over and over and over and over (you get my point) again when it really isn't necessary.

"He was reluctant to do it...He went along reluctantly...Although he was reluctant, he still agreed to help...And the fact the he was reluctant..."

It makes me wanna scream. "Alright, he's reluctant, I got it! Move on!!!"

Usually a sign of poor vocabulary. The plague of those who don't read an awful lot.

[Mousie]

It is one of the fundamental things I recall from my english classes. We where taught not to use the same word repeatedly especially not in the same paragraph, we were taught to think about what other words could be used instead. It's not that hard when you try it, invariably there will always be another word that can replace it and mean the same thing.

[scifithinker]

Sam is always chastely innocent in the ways of 'adult entertainment' because she only slept with Jonas once or twice before she split up with him and hasn't been touched, or even thought about it, since then.

Oh no, she didn't sleep with Jonas. She's saving herself for marriage. She's never going to have sex... much to Jacob's delight.

[Mousie]

I didn't want to go the virgin route although there are plenty of those types of fic out there. She had to sleep with Jonas because he was a woman beating, cheating pyscho who wouldn't have accepted anything less from her. We want her innocently naive for manly Jack to be able to teach the ways of hot luvvin to, but not chaste!

[Skydiver]

Another peeve, which I don't think was mentioned before. Using one word over and over and over and over and over and over (you get my point) again when it really isn't necessary.

"He was reluctant to do it...He went along reluctantly...Although he was reluctant, he still agreed to help...And the fact the he was reluctant..."

It makes me wanna scream. "Alright, he's reluctant, I got it! Move on!!!"

a thesaurus is your friend

[Womble]

a thesaurus is your friend

Yes, but people making these mistakes would probably think that a thesaurus is a species of dinosaur.

[jasminaGo]

Yes, but people making these mistakes would probably think that a thesaurus is a species of dinosaur.