Fic help.

[Whytewytch]

I'm not sure if it's a rule, but as Fems says, it ought to be. I would go with what your beta says. As others have pointed out, if nothing else, it's less confusing and looks better. In your original example, it could very well be O'Neill clearing his throat and then someone else interjecting their thoughts.

[fems]

Fems: I would write the second example (can't seem to quote the quoted text at the moment).

Probably because you can't quote a quote when you 'reply with quote'.

I start new dialogue on a new paragraph, but I don't break it into separate paragraphs just because there is a line of non-dialogue in the middle, as long as it remains the same speaker.

Yes, I figured (well, hoped really ) as much but I just wanted to show you that your 'new dialogue, new paragraph'-rule is strange if you do keep it in the same paragraph if the person has said something before. Hence my examples.

Like Mathpiglet said, I was always taught new speaker, new paragraph. However, reading that source, I'm still possibly in the wrong as the following would appear to be correct.

But in your examples it's not really a new speaker. Well, maybe it is if you take the 'speaker'-part very literal, but you are actually already talking/writing about O'Neill and he's the one saying it, so why should you need to have a new paragraph for his dialogue?

For some reason, I've always seen this as looking clumsy and wrong, but apparently not. I must just be reading the wrong sort of books!

I always see your way as clumsy and wrong, not to mention confusing. It might be the books you read, it might be something else entirely.

I'm not sure if it's a rule, but as Fems says, it ought to be. I would go with what your beta says. As others have pointed out, if nothing else, it's less confusing and looks better. In your original example, it could very well be O'Neill clearing his throat and then someone else interjecting their thoughts.

This.

[SF_and_Coffee]

I'm reading a copy of my latest fic that has been edited and returned by a beta, and I've run into a bit of an issue.

The bulk of my knowledge regarding proper English comes from just reading a lot and slowly developing a sense of what is correct or incorrect rather than from formal education. Admittedly, this isn't ideal for a writer and has led to me being a little ignorant of some rules and developing a few bad habits.

The problem is that with this edited fic, I'm having a little difficulty picking apart what is genuinely grammatically incorrect and what is simply personal style or preference. For example, I've always started dialogue in a new paragraph:

O'Neill leaned forward and cleared his throat.

"I've always thought there was something wrong with that." ...whereas the beta repeatedly corrects it to:

O'Neill leaned forward and cleared his throat. "I've always thought there was something wrong with that."


Is either one of us actually incorrect or is it just a matter of personal preference?

Based on my formal education and my reading experience, your beta is right. Your use of stage action for O'Neill is functionally equivalent to using a "said" clause. You wouldn't write:

Jack said,

"I've always thought there was something wrong with that."

would you?

The rule for beginning a new paragraph for dialogue only applies to separating one person's speech from another, so that you don't have two characters speaking in the same paragraph.

[WraithRichard]

As much as I find the Tok'ra to be a great source of plot twists, I can't figure out which of their council would be best to use as a representative to speak on their behalf (or, heck, which of them would be dead by this time in the series).

The time is set a few months after the end of Atlantis and the representative is there to sign a peace treaty.

[SaraBahama]

Nice discussion on the grammar rules, all! I was paying rapt attention.

[Skydiver]

As much as I find the Tok'ra to be a great source of plot twists, I can't figure out which of their council would be best to use as a representative to speak on their behalf (or, heck, which of them would be dead by this time in the series).

The time is set a few months after the end of Atlantis and the representative is there to sign a peace treaty.

garshaw. Or they used Persus one time, or just make one up who happens to be Selmac's replacement. For all we know the council's membership changes regularly as Tok'ra die. Or maybe they only serve on the council for a period of time?

[WraithRichard]

garshaw. Or they used Persus one time, or just make one up who happens to be Selmac's replacement. For all we know the council's membership changes regularly as Tok'ra die. Or maybe they only serve on the council for a period of time?

Ah, cool.

[SaraBahama]

Any speculation as to what Mark Carter does for a living? I always imagined him as intelligent and accomplished, but don't want to necessarily write him into a role too similar to Sam's -I don't want to make him an Astrophysicist or anything. Just searching for any opinions, regardless of what I choose to go with.

[iiradned]

Any speculation as to what Mark Carter does for a living? I always imagined him as intelligent and accomplished, but don't want to necessarily write him into a role too similar to Sam's -I don't want to make him an Astrophysicist or anything. Just searching for any opinions, regardless of what I choose to go with.

Given Mark's relationship with Jacob prior the episode Seth and Mark's dislike of the military, I wouldn't picture him working as a civilian employee of the Defense Department or a defense contractor.

Other than that Mark could have any other conceivable job.

[fems]

Any speculation as to what Mark Carter does for a living? I always imagined him as intelligent and accomplished, but don't want to necessarily write him into a role too similar to Sam's -I don't want to make him an Astrophysicist or anything. Just searching for any opinions, regardless of what I choose to go with.

I've thought of many jobs for Mark for my fics (a future fic is Mark-centered) and I've always pictured him quite intelligent. Sam's a genius and Jacob is probably pretty smart too considering he was a two-star general, so I imagine Mark has gone to university at least.

You also have to keep in mind that he's buddies with Pete, who was living in Denver while Mark was living San Diego where he'd moved to some time before Cold Lazarus and with the boy and girl (~5 years old in Seth) already born. I always thought Mark looked like a computer geek from the brief glimpse we got from him, but he could also be a lawyer, forensic specialist or a shrink and met Pete on a case they were both working on. Unless Mark had been living in/around Denver too and happened to meet Pete coincidentally. Or they met at university/college or a specialized course that Pete the detective had to attend.

[Skydiver]

I can see mark as an Accountant or sales manager or administrator of some kind. maybe he works for a pharmaceutical company? Or some kind of materials manufacturer - like an engineer.

[mathpiglet]

I somehow figured that Mark was as different as possible from the military life embraced by his sister and father.

Professor of Philosophy or art critic or author or highschool English Teacher. I'd keep him as far from math and science as possible.

That way I could see why Jacob and Mark are not close. They would struggle to find something to talk about.

[SaraBahama]

Thanks all! That gives me some different perspective to draw from...

[Starfist]

Has anyone got any theories as to what Cassandra did/has done after High School?
Or what happend after Janet died?

[fems]

According to a missing scene from Ripple Effect:

Spoiler:

Scene 26: Green Daniel and Green Teal'c interview Desert Camo Fraiser

This was a great little scene reuniting Teal'c and Daniel with Fraiser (albeit an alternate version of the good doctor). Again, due to time constraints, we had to lose some references to Cassie. Here is the exchange as originally scripted:

GREEN ##TEAL'C: You have been greatly missed.

Suddenly, she realizes -

DESERT CAMO FRAISER: How's Cassie?

GREEN DANIEL: She's fine. She moved in with Sam after it happened.

DESERT CAMO FRAISER: I can't imagine what she must have gone through.

GREEN DANIEL: It was tough for her -- but she got through it. She managed to deal with her loss by focusing on her studies.(beat) She's majoring in Biochemistry at UCLA.

Desert Camo Fraiser can't help but smile.

DESERT CAMO FRAISER: She's doing well back home too.(then, catching herself) I mean -- my home.

GREEN TEAL'C: Hopefully you will be able to return to her shortly.

DESERT CAMO FRAISER: Hopefully?

GREEN DANIEL: For the moment, it looks like your trip here was only one-way.

Don't recall who pointed this out a couple of weeks ago, sorry, I just saved it.