John Sheppard Whump

[Linzi]

Yeah, but I still want to meet him again! It's easy to get greedy - it's so hard to soak him all in at once Plus, don't forget, at cons, you only really get to meet him for a few minutes while he signs, and when you're having your photo taken and when that happens, you're thinking "i hope I look ok in the pic, and OMGhe'stotallytouchingmeandIcan'tbelieveI'mstandingherewithJoeFlanigan!"

Meeting him on set (thanks Knightie!!!!) was definitely a highlight in my life! You get to spend actual time with the man!! And get stuff like this signed....

I'm going to disagree about cons a little here, because it depends which con you go to. At the Expo we got to see loads of Joe, got to ask loads of questions, had multiple photos and autograph ops, and overall it was the most amazing con experience I've had in my life!

I'm not going to harp on about Peg's and my set visit and lunch with Joe etc, because I'm certain people don't want to keep hearing about it!

[Sheppard's Delight]

I'm going to disagree about cons a little here, because it depends which con you go to. At the Expo we got to see loads of Joe, got to ask loads of questions, had multiple photos and autograph ops, and overall it was the most amazing con experience I've had in my life!

I'm not going to harp on about Peg's and my set visit and lunch with Joe etc, because I'm certain people don't want to keep hearing about it!

I agree. We were totally spoilt at the expo

The cons over here in the UK are great - very relaxed.

Not everyone has the financial means to go on set tours and meet Joe that way and I think that cons are great and everyone is going to have a awesome time next month meeting Joe!!!! Did people know that a few of us are seeing him in a few weeks time?

[Alipeeps]

I'm going to disagree about cons a little here, because it depends which con you go to. At the Expo we got to see loads of Joe, got to ask loads of questions, had multiple photos and autograph ops, and overall it was the most amazing con experience I've had in my life!

I'm not going to harp on about Peg's and my set visit and lunch with Joe etc, because I'm certain people don't want to keep hearing about it!

Oh definitely. In fact, we went to Expo expecting it to be rushed and not to have much chance to talk with Joe etc and were really surprised to find him so chatty and generous with his time - mind you, I think that was mostly down to Joe himself. I remember when I went up one last time on the Sunday to get my photoshoot picture signed I shook his hand and thanked him for his time and said he had made the con a great experience for me.

[Strey]

Guh. Stop. All of you. No, don't. I don't mean it. Yes, I do. No, I don't.

This is not an excuse to snag me my next Shep clone...

Milestone time! Yay!

[Listy]

You forgot Listy? *Huggles that noisy, always centre of attention Listy, because yeah, I can't forget her - nor do I want to!!!!*

Bebop - that other trouble maker is going too!


And the worst of the lot? McKayRocks! She's going as well. Goodness, there's trouble ahead if Mx is attending!

Poor Joe

*squeak* LOL yup how can anyone forget me its not like I am small

Hee hee Bebop and Mx.... they are aren't they LOL awesome

Sorry Blue. I did know you're going, of course, but I temporarily forgot! *Thwacks herself on the head*

Less of the Thwacking, we don't want a concussed Linz tomorrow!!!

*jumps up and down with Listy*...ME TOO!!!!!..

*giggle*....OY!!!...What do you mean trouble maker?!...I'm not the one who hung poor Shep from a hotel light fitting with his arms twisted the wrong way up!!!!!...

LMAO!!!!! YAY!!!

(((HUGS))) I wish there was something that could be done to help. I know I get very down when I can't write, but I'm lucky it doesn't last long.


Well, you do have other things going on!

Congrats on 3000, SAF!

Congrats on 3900, Listy!

Thanks

congrats to saf on 3000, listy on 3900, sgafan on 5200

WOW hadn't realised there were so many of us going to Bedford - hope to meet as many of you as possible

Thank you hun

You know they are remaking Hawaii 5-0 and, as far as I'm aware, they haven't cast it yet. I'm just saying...



I have been having the most bizarre dreams lately and its effecting my sleep patterns something terrible. I think I watch too much TV/movies and read too many weird books (after reading Charles Stross's The Atrocity Archives last week I had dreams full of Lovecraftian demons and monsters) and it all gets jumbled up in my head with RL stresses and worries and my brain spews out these weird little movies.

I do that, I have just finished the third book in the Twilight series..(*grumbles still waiting for book four to arrive *) and I have been having very strange Twilight/SGA dreams, with Sheppard being the equivalent of Edward very yummy but very strange...... and don't even get me started on the very odd con dreams i have been having

Hawaii 5-0... never seen it....

Well, being at work, I can't provide distracting pictures, but what about distracting words?

Sheppard's strength gave out, and he slumped to his knees the snow-covered ground. Blood stained the whiteness around him, falling in thick splatters from the knife wound in his side. His hand was clasped to his body, rivulets of blood seeping through his numb fingers. Cold, he was so cold. Darkness swirled in his mind. He was teetering on the edge of a river of black, and all he needed to do was sink forward, to let himself go, and...

"No," he rasped, dragging his head up, blinking into the scouring snow. His team needed him. He couldn't let himself sink into the black - he couldn't. He had to keep going.

His pushed himself to his feet, but his hand slipped in the blood-melted snow. The knife wrenched in his side, and a scream was torn from his lips. Biting it back, gasping, whimpering, he forced himself upwards.

One step in front of the other. One step, then two. He would make it.

He had to.

*is distracted.......... falls off the bed, with suitcase landing a bit too close*

More distraction?

"Er, Rodney?" Sheppard cleared his throat. "Why are you dressed as a penguin?"

"Is that Zelenka?" Ronon jerked his thumb at the figure that was attempting rather badly to ride a unicycle. Riding a unicycle was challenging at the best of times. Wearing a dress while doing so clearly did not make the task any easier.

Teyla watched a rather long-suffering-looking Chuck stagger past while dressed as a banana. "Is this sort of behaviour customary in your people?"

"We're being distracting," McKay hissed through his feathers.

"You mean distracted?" Sheppard asked.

"Very funny, colonel." McKay shook his beak impatiently. "Ali on Gateworld asked for distractions, and I thought we'd oblige. Important work to get on with, and all, but--" He lowered his voice. "--she's a whumper. It's best not to get on the wrong side of people like that."

"A Shep whumper, I believe," Teyla said.

"Oh." McKay sighed. "Oh. Of course. Out of the costume, folks. Back to your work. Chop, chop!"

Why were they all looking at him all of a sudden. "Er... guys..." Sheppard began to edge back towards the door. "You're not getting me in a penguin suit."

"You won't need to dress up as a penguin," Ronon said.

"Or even a banana," Teyla said sadly. "You know what distracts Shep whumpers?"

Suddenly the ground opened up beneath Sheppard's feet, and he plummeted down into a chasm that had never before existed below McKay's lab. As his body hit mysterious stick-out things, all he had time to think was, "Oh--" before remembering that he was on a PG forum. Then he thought nothing at all.

hee hee!!! love it!

hmmm.. distraction.. Do you still need a distraction, Ali?

maybe some Season 5 whumpage?

spoilers for season 5, (pretty much spanning the whole season... )

*is distracted some more..... yummy!!!!!*

Wait I am supposed to be taking hte afternoon off work to get sorted for P4 not hanging here..... oh wait my suitcase is packed..... Goes back to being distracted.

I'm going to disagree about cons a little here, because it depends which con you go to. At the Expo we got to see loads of Joe, got to ask loads of questions, had multiple photos and autograph ops, and overall it was the most amazing con experience I've had in my life!

I'm not going to harp on about Peg's and my set visit and lunch with Joe etc, because I'm certain people don't want to keep hearing about it!

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! I like listening to people talk about their set visits, go right ahead hun

[Sabine]

Did people know that a few of us are seeing him in a few weeks time?

Oh, are you? Huh, no, I must have missed the several dozen posts on that topic. And just in case anyone is wondering, I'm absolutely not sitting here grinding my teeth in a jealous agony.

I hope you guys all have a great time and I cannot wait to read all about it!

[Strey]

I'm dashing off a one-shot Shep whumpy 'Secret Easter Bunny' for someone and it's reached 10,000 words. I'm still not done, but - I'm close. Ish. Apart from the LFWS challenge whereby I swam/doggy-paddled, soared briefly and subsequently sank/plummeted to find myself in Davy Jones's locker, I've never posted anything anywhere. (Yeah, I know - apart from the roads, schools, aqueducts, what have the Romans ever done for us?)
Aaanyway, dare I ask for a beta-reader via this thread? How does that kind of thing work? Not a deathfic, but there is much drippy blood and almost bare bodies... no surprises there, right?

Question - would it be okay to post a chunk here and get some feedback if it's labelled OT?

*smiles sweetly in an adorable whumperly way ----> *

[Salty]

I'm going to disagree about cons a little here, because it depends which con you go to. At the Expo we got to see loads of Joe, got to ask loads of questions, had multiple photos and autograph ops, and overall it was the most amazing con experience I've had in my life!

I'm not going to harp on about Peg's and my set visit and lunch with Joe etc, because I'm certain people don't want to keep hearing about it!

It does seem like the UK cons are run very differently. Creation moves you like cattle and the guests are usually cut off in midstream - THEY would like to spend more time with the fans but Creation cracks the whip! The 2007 NJ con was awesome with Paul McGillion because he came to hang out in the bar with us and drink with us. It was relaxed and friendly and definitely a highlight of the weekend. For me now, the cons are about seeing my friends and the guests are the icing on the cake.

I want to hear about set visits and lunch etc, are you kidding? You've had insight into the man! If I could touch you, I would

I agree. We were totally spoilt at the expo

The cons over here in the UK are great - very relaxed.

Not everyone has the financial means to go on set tours and meet Joe that way and I think that cons are great and everyone is going to have a awesome time next month meeting Joe!!!! Did people know that a few of us are seeing him in a few weeks time?

Really??? I hadn't heard that

Oh definitely. In fact, we went to Expo expecting it to be rushed and not to have much chance to talk with Joe etc and were really surprised to find him so chatty and generous with his time - mind you, I think that was mostly down to Joe himself. I remember when I went up one last time on the Sunday to get my photoshoot picture signed I shook his hand and thanked him for his time and said he had made the con a great experience for me.

He had told me when I met him back in 2006 that he loved meeting the fans and getting to know them. I think he really appreciates his fans, although I will say it sounds more like he enjoys doing the overseas cons so he can travel, rather than touring the US

[Elflinn]

Congrats to Listy and SAF on yet another whumpy milestone!

[Vecturist]

It does seem like the UK cons are run very differently. Creation moves you like cattle and the guests are usually cut off in midstream - THEY would like to spend more time with the fans but Creation cracks the whip! The 2007 NJ con was awesome with Paul McGillion because he came to hang out in the bar with us and drink with us. It was relaxed and friendly and definitely a highlight of the weekend. For me now, the cons are about seeing my friends and the guests are the icing on the cake.

Yes, creation has a very business attitude towards cons which can be more than a little annoying - I went to the Burbank con and was disappointed that the time they had RL, DH, and JM on stage together was so short - seriously I would have let them go on for hours....

[Pocus]

Well, being at work, I can't provide distracting pictures, but what about distracting words?

Sheppard's strength gave out, and he slumped to his knees the snow-covered ground. Blood stained the whiteness around him, falling in thick splatters from the knife wound in his side. His hand was clasped to his body, rivulets of blood seeping through his numb fingers. Cold, he was so cold. Darkness swirled in his mind. He was teetering on the edge of a river of black, and all he needed to do was sink forward, to let himself go, and...

"No," he rasped, dragging his head up, blinking into the scouring snow. His team needed him. He couldn't let himself sink into the black - he couldn't. He had to keep going.

His pushed himself to his feet, but his hand slipped in the blood-melted snow. The knife wrenched in his side, and a scream was torn from his lips. Biting it back, gasping, whimpering, he forced himself upwards.

One step in front of the other. One step, then two. He would make it.

He had to.

*faints* What a great distraction!!!

More distraction?

"Er, Rodney?" Sheppard cleared his throat. "Why are you dressed as a penguin?"

"Is that Zelenka?" Ronon jerked his thumb at the figure that was attempting rather badly to ride a unicycle. Riding a unicycle was challenging at the best of times. Wearing a dress while doing so clearly did not make the task any easier.

Teyla watched a rather long-suffering-looking Chuck stagger past while dressed as a banana. "Is this sort of behaviour customary in your people?"

"We're being distracting," McKay hissed through his feathers.

"You mean distracted?" Sheppard asked.

"Very funny, colonel." McKay shook his beak impatiently. "Ali on Gateworld asked for distractions, and I thought we'd oblige. Important work to get on with, and all, but--" He lowered his voice. "--she's a whumper. It's best not to get on the wrong side of people like that."

"A Shep whumper, I believe," Teyla said.

"Oh." McKay sighed. "Oh. Of course. Out of the costume, folks. Back to your work. Chop, chop!"

Why were they all looking at him all of a sudden. "Er... guys..." Sheppard began to edge back towards the door. "You're not getting me in a penguin suit."

"You won't need to dress up as a penguin," Ronon said.

"Or even a banana," Teyla said sadly. "You know what distracts Shep whumpers?"

Suddenly the ground opened up beneath Sheppard's feet, and he plummeted down into a chasm that had never before existed below McKay's lab. As his body hit mysterious stick-out things, all he had time to think was, "Oh--" before remembering that he was on a PG forum. Then he thought nothing at all.

...and then we have this silliness. A wonderful distraction of another variety!!

Steve makes a break for freedom while they're transporting him to Hoff. He jumps up and slams aside the marine guarding him and lunges for Shep, pinning him against the console and trying to wrestle control of the jumper from him. He's strong and Shep is pinned, struggling to breathe and to throw the Wraith off him... until one of the marines picks himself up and manages hit Steve with several stunner blasts to take him down. Shep is left a little dazed and shaken, a bit breathless and his ribs aching.

*faints again*

Really? That would be an excellent show for JF - surfing + board shorts, action, board shorts, angsty detective stuff, did I mention the board shorts?
And Jason Momoa is Hawaiian, I think? So obviously he needs to be in the cast too.

I am never going to get up off the floor at this rate. You guys are just making my head spin. Or is it the lovely cold I have starting to develop? NO! I will go with the whumpers are making me dizzy with yummy thoughts!

[SheppAddictedFangirl]

5th clone, SAF? You betcha! Okay, back to writing. Steve Austin - I'm on a roll! Yay!

So, whoever's in charge of the Shep clones, defrost the next one, ta muchly, and he can beamed to my dungeon lovely Shep habitat in short measure...

yeah, try double *still waiting for no.10*
tried to send you one, but he heard me coming....
Ya might want to cut his way off!

Hi whumpers,

ok, this is just what happened, catching up and reading about the lucky whumpers who are going to see each other and Joe, touch a sensible spot here, but then a few minutes ago a friend call me to meet him. (he is a pretty rich friend of mine, he has family there in Vancouver and I was planing to stay with his family for VanCon, untill I realized not even with his help I could make it), so when I hang off the telephone, I just could not avoid begginig to cry like a baby....untill now....I've never cried before due to SGA, (although I was very depressed for days after the cancellation was announced), so, here I am, taking advantage Hubby is not home, crying.......

so, I though...if is not too much to ask....maybe I could write a little postcard for Joe and have someone of those who are meeting him to deliver it from my behalf?, maybe some other whumpers who are not going would like to write a postcard for him too? I though by ordinary mail, the postcards may still get to you. that is, of course, if you want....please

pardon me if this is daring to ask, maybe not polite, I don't know maybe I should not have asked...in any case, I had to ask (desperate- whumper here).

Maybe the entire IheartShep's club could made our postcards?

Good luck on that!

Geez! I whish we could do something about it, well may not be a solution, but I'd want to send to you my best.

Last time I though of this plot

Spoiler:

in which a bad guy, stabed Shep after breaking Atlantis security and making his way right to his quarters....then I asked you guys if someone had ever write something like that and I was amazed when you (right now I don't remember who was) gave me the link for Kirsten999 Honor Bound, which fic was almost exactly what I was thinking, and wanting!!!! so, now I am soooo hooke with it, just like it was made for me!!!! so excited!!!

Strey is so right, both of you, Ali and Pilgrim are so good writers!!! in fact, your was the first ones I ever read, long time ago, and that made me fall in love with fanfic. (from Strey's little whumpers faces...I am the third one)

OMG!, that was a lovely, cute post

Nice one!, thanks.

Congrats on your 3000 post SAF....Lt. Col. isn't just the best of all the ranks????

thanks yep, it is! LOL

(((HUGS))) I wish there was something that could be done to help. I know I get very down when I can't write, but I'm lucky it doesn't last long.

Well, you do have other things going on!

Congrats on 3000, SAF!

Congrats on 3900, Listy!

(((HUGS))) I'd have to go into debt again or ditch any hopes for a new computer to go. My old computer is coughing and wheezing, so I do need the new one. As a result, I'm just staying home. So sad!

I just hope all the kind, lovely, considerate whumpers (I actually like thwack of whumpers!) take pity on us and ask lots of questsions, post lots of pics and detailed con reports.

thank you!
And CONGRATS to LISTY, POCUS and SGAFAN!
SGAFan - love the season 5 whumpy picspams!!

Hi everyone!

Aw, I'm jealous too!! A year ago I didn't even know who Joe Flanigan was, LOL. Hopefully, hopefully one day I'll get to meet him. For now, I guess I'll have to settle for reading whump fics. Maybe I'll even write one of my own, LOL.

yeah, same here. And now he´s actually the first actor ever I´ve had a crush on that I`m actually gonna meet
And I had no idea how great fanfics can be before either.
I think my first ever was

kriadydragon´s (FF.net: Stealth Dragon) "Fortunate"
http://kriadydragon.livejournal.com/77162.html#cutid1

I had actually almost forgotten about it (title anyway) until it resurfaced recently ..
but that was some great Shep whump! And TLC of course!

Yeah, but I still want to meet him again! It's easy to get greedy - it's so hard to soak him all in at once Plus, don't forget, at cons, you only really get to meet him for a few minutes while he signs, and when you're having your photo taken and when that happens, you're thinking "i hope I look ok in the pic, and OMGhe'stotallytouchingmeandIcan'tbelieveI'mstandingherewithJoeFlanigan!"

yeah, thanks for that .... !!! NOT.HELPING!!!! LOL

Meeting him on set (thanks Knightie!!!!) was definitely a highlight in my life! You get to spend actual time with the man!! And get stuff like this signed....

OT:

Spoiler:

my son drew this for me to take with me...
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v2...Mickeyspic.jpg

OMG! That´s too cute!!

congrats to saf on 3000, listy on 3900, sgafan on 5200

WOW hadn't realised there were so many of us going to Bedford - hope to meet as many of you as possible

thank you!

Same here Especially now my exams are over, I'm really getting giddy, and walk around with a smile on my face the whole day Quite annoying to be honest, seeing other people think: what's with her

I can imagine

lol: No problem ruffles :-D I made a list actually :-P Exactly for these occasions :-D It has *counts* 30 names eek: All whumpers and thunkers eek: Poor Joe lol:

And congrats on 3,000 posts!!!! That would be ten clones

thanks! Yep, it´s getting crowded, LOL *once he actually arrives*

I know how you feel! Been having the weirdest dreams this week, even though most of mine are quite fun. All sorts of adventures, with me being a hero and saving the day, as if I was on an SGA team.. It's really strange, and I wake up feeling very sure about myself.. whole new experience.. :-P

tehee. You aim high, missy!

Congrats to Listy and SAF on yet another whumpy milestone!

thanks!

[CazzBlade]

kriadydragon´s (FF.net: Stealth Dragon) "Fortunate"
http://kriadydragon.livejournal.com/77162.html#cutid1

I had actually almost forgotten about it (title anyway) until it resurfaced recently ..
but that was some great Shep whump! And TLC of course!

You didn't tell me that was the first you'd read! Glad I could remind you I second the rec btw

[Strey]

yeah, try double *still waiting for no.10*
tried to send you one, but he heard me coming....
Ya might want to cut his way off!

Hey, SAF!
Snagged the little bugger by his exposed boxers!

[Strey]

Okay, I can't wait. This is decidedly OT, and I have no idea how much I can post without getting smacked upside the head, but - first chunk of looonnng fanfic... written for Steve Austin/Sidhartinas...

Spoiler:

Rodney's darling mother had often - nay, endlessly - nagged him to make sure his tightie whiteys were clean on every morning in case he should ever end up in hospital after a car crash or something equally dire. For Rodney to display grubby, unbleached underwear with brown skidmarks and/or suspicious yellowish patches to all and sundry would have been of the utmost embarrassment to the late Mrs McKay. It was 'simply not done', like not placing a doily on a plate before serving hors d'oevres, or failing to mind one's Ps and Qs in some unspecified manner that made little Mer quake in heartfelt agitation.
Ps and Qs?
Pieds et queues.
Tops and tails.
What the hell was that supposed to mean? Seriously, what was the woman thinking? Like, he should understand etiquette by osmosis? By virtue of it being in French? The late Mrs McKay - may she rest in peace, and all that - had lived to keep up appearances; being at death's door took second place to 'what would the neighbours think?'
Rodney was painfully aware that he and his sister, Jeannie, were mere trophies to be displayed like objets d'art, (more French,) their photos and certificates bandied about in brag books over tea and petit fours, (even more French,) false niceties and a simpering 'You simply must come over sometime.'
He wondered how they had ever come out so normal and well-adjusted. Well, Jeannie wasn't entirely normal. Like, seriously. She couldn't possibly be since she gave up everything to marry Kevin. Kevin? No matter. The man was an abject moron - he was an English major. Hello?! And he was beneath her. But Madeline (or whatever her name was) was reasonably tolerable. For a rugrat. He'd gotten used to rugrats after his experience on M7G-667, the so-called children's planet. (How come he could always remember figures and never names? Hm. Go figure. Go figure!) Anyway, once he had switched into 'disseminate chocolate' mode, the little brats pretty much worshipped him.
Which was as it should be.
He could get used to that.
Zelenka, take note.
And yet, what 'Mommie Dearest' had failed to tell her only son was to make sure his tightie whiteys were pristine if not ironed and starched to a crisp in case he should ever end up stripped and intimidated in front of misguided, malevolent drunkards who threatened to beat you senseless. Or rather, your best friend in two galaxies, one Lt. Col John Sheppard.
And for what?
Ammoless weapons?
The biggest Hollywood cliche of all time.
There was slightly more to it than that, but he couldn't quite recall. Something.... something - went down. Sadly, the words 'drunken stupor' came to mind. He'd let Sheppard down. Without a doubt. Rodney sighed, and reluctantly wrenched his musings back to the disquiet of the here and now.
He could vaguely make out a Sheppard-shaped lump in the gloom of twilight.
The doom and gloom of twilight.
The doom and gloom and despair and despondency of twilight.
Rodney sighed once more and shifted uncomfortably, unable to find a position to sit or lie in that didn't rip warmth from his body or cause some part of him to ache abysmally.
Their zero-star accommodation comprised one filthy, unlit, unheated, leaky hovel with an equally leaky thatched roof. He'd seen farmers treat their livestock better than this.
The Sheppard-shaped lump trembled. And rustled the straw bedding, causing untold numbers of no doubt rabid rodent-like creatures to scurry to safer, Sheppard-free holdouts.
"Spongebob boxers, McKay?" Sheppard quipped, his voice quieter and gruffer than usual. Rodney could see a sly smile cross his battered friend's face. That was a relatively good thing. Sheppard was clearly feeling a little chipper, despite their predicament. Well, perhaps not clearly, as he could barely see him, and perhaps chipper wasn't quite the right word, but at least he wasn't morose. Okay, snappy comeback time. Genial banter and verbal sparring often kept his friend entertained and thereby halfway decent, alert company and not dying company whenever they were in dire straits, which was sadly all too often these days.
As the shadows grew longer, Rodney attempted to adjust his eyes to the growing dimness, which speckled his vision with pinpricks and flashes of muted colour as rods took over from cones. Or the other way around. No matter. In tandem, the night grew chillier. He found himself stressing over Sheppard, who hadn't spoken much but merely stirred restlessly since Rodney had sobered up. After... it didn't bear thinking about.
Another routine mission gone south, sideways, byebye and other fluffy euphemisms.
He and Sheppard were incarcerated together in some God-forsaken, backwater hamlet, with the added bonus (thank you very much) of being surrounded by sadists who were after your WMD's, which, like Saddam Hussein, you actually never even possessed in the first place. Pride cometh before a fall, and all that. One Dr Meredith Rodney McKay, Ph.D etc etc was, unlike one Saddam Hussein, prepared to meet his Maker with a clear conscience - (apart from the whole trivial blowing up three-fifths of an uninhabited, uninhabitable galaxy thing) - but just not anytime soon. (Or was it five-sixths? Arbitrary and of minimal import.) Yet, with the latter-day, badass, badluck Sheppard in tow, who was to say today was not that day?
Maker? Meet Sheppard.
Sheppard? Maker.
Can I get you anything?
Tea?
Coffee?
Rotgut?
Rodney heard a groan. And snapped back to all too unpleasant reality.
Cue the genial banter and verbal sparring.
"Girlie pink and lilac-striped boxers, Sheppard? With a 'kick me' sign on the back? How about 'Kick me, I'm the biggest martyr in two galaxies'? Hm? Rodney snorted in mock distain. He could still make out Sheppard's form in the twilight.
"My sore ass hears ya. Yeah, dumb choice for days like this," growled Sheppard as he nestled into a Sheppard-shaped indentation. They had tucked themselves into a shadowed corner of their lowly prison, away from draughts. Sheppard tugged more stinking, matted straw over himself for warmth, and wrapped his arms gingerly around his bare midriff as if to conserve body heat.
"Seriously, do you really want to be grubbing in the muck like that, Sheppard? Our - bedding is only fit for fertilising rose bushes."
"I'm cold, McKay. And it's getting colder. Got a better idea? I'm all ears."
"As a matter of fact, I - don't... ' Rodney felt a frown cross his face. He huffed. And changed the subject. "Little wonder you're frozen. You have no padding whatsoever and you're just plain gangly." Rodney heard a derisive snort, but chose to ignore it. "I, however, am built for wintry climes. Like Canada. And just about every other planet we've ever visited in the Pegasus galaxy. Wait - 'days like this'?! Like, this is normal? Are you freaking nuts?"
John flashed a lop-sided grin, which slowly faded and morphed as his dark head sank against the dank wall. As the sun finally set, his pained expression faded with it.
What you can't see won't hurt you, McKay thought.
Except in nightmares.
And this was a nightmare. A living one. The stuff of nightmares. And all those other cliches that are only cliches until you have to actually live them. Or study Shakespeare.
There was a sudden, vicious draught coming in from loosened and missing stones. He was sure his neck would be stiff by daybreak, if not snapped by goons beforehand. Rodney curled in on himself, and shivered. Damn, but this stuff was prickly. Then he had an idea. A Cunning Plan.
"Sheppard? Rodney cried, but his best friend in all the universe was already snoring. Not wheezing. Definitely not wheezing. Rodney scrambled over to him, and despite his sense of outrage and indecency at cuddling a frozen, hirsute male with bony protuberances, he snuggled up, imparting his own body heat, hoping to avoid coming into contact with Sheppard's growing collection of grazes and bruises and lacerations.
"No-one's looking," he told himself firmly, ignoring Sheppard's moans. "Think clear blue skies and Jennifer's softly rounded br - soft curves." As he drifted into restless sleep, he pondered upon the events of the last few days, and wondering quite how they had both ended up so completely, totally and utterly screwed.

*addz an eep here... *