Ronon Dex/Jennifer Keller Appreciation/Ship/Discussion (Doctor & Wild Man)

[Everlovin]

Hey everybody, I'm working on a gimp thingy. I'm not done, but I'd like to save it and continue later. What's the .xxx to do that?

[bailey1ak]

.xcf

Morning Ever.

[hifield]

Happy Birthday Bailey ... hope this is your best year every filled with lots of great stories and beautiful artwork.

[hifield]

Ever that was a beautiful video ... you should be very proud!!! Excellent music -- it all fit together perfectly!!

[bailey1ak]

Happy Birthday Bailey ... hope this is your best year every filled with lots of great stories and beautiful artwork.

I suppose you felt it necessary to say that out loud.
I hope my year is filled that way as well! Love you.

[dragongirl]

Happy Birthday bailey!!

[bailey1ak]

Thank you DG.

How are things going for you sweetie?

[dragongirl]

Not so good. Last night Dad fell and he couldn't get up I couldn't pick him up so I had to call non-emergency and get the fire dept to come by and help get him up and into bed. He is getting more and more confused he still knows who I am and that he is home but time line wise he is very confused. He is getting weaker and the stuff they are wanting me to do I just can't do I have problems with comfort his and mine. They are going to put him in respit care (something I was planing to do next week) where he could be at the hospital for 5 days and during the time I could get a break maybe go down to visit my mom, go grocery shopping a real trip rather than a fast get 5 things then come home but after the fall and what they are saying now...Dad will be going into respit care today and I will spend the time looking into nursing homes for him. My brother who lives here can help but he is almost an hour away and with him working full time (and then some) and his daughter he can only do so much.

[bailey1ak]

I'm sorry to hear that it is becoming more difficult so quickly. Caring for an adult is really hard work. I've seen my parents and grandparents try to do so and it was so frustrating for them and there was really not much help I could offer. I know they felt a lot of guilt and responsibility weighing on them, as well as the emotions of watching a loved one go through a quick deterioration. Although they later would admonish others that find themselves in that situation not to allow themselves to feel that way. I'm sure taking care of your dad in this aspect is hard physically and I'm sure emotionally hard as well. I hope the respit care takes some of that pressure off DG, so you can have the energy and time to spend with your dad as well as carry on with all those things you still want/need to find time for. Hugs to you.

Will it still be like a five day thing, or is this more of a for-now solution at this time?

[dragongirl]

Thanks. It is very hard to see him like this and I feel horrible that I can't do everything that they are wanting me to do, and I think a good deal of it is me going I don't want my last memories of my Dad to be a lot of awkward and uncomfortable moments I would rather have memories of sitting with him and being there for him and the happier times from before he got sick. (Wow that sounds horribly selfish doesn't it ) Part of me thinks no matter what I do I am making the wrong choices.

The respit will still be for 5 days so during that time I will go look at nursing homes and talk to the social worker, and visit dad at the hospital.

[bailey1ak]

DG - I know in print on a screen it may sound selfish to reread what you've written. I have to emphatically say though, that no it is not selfish and I think most parents don't want their children's last memories to be that either.

I know after my Grandma was finally move to a long-term care facility (my mom had been trying to take care of her with my grandfather's assistance) my mother looked at me and told me to never put myself through that. She told me when the time comes to put her in a nursing home or long-term facility, although she hopes that she doesn't have to go through any of that when her time comes either.

Not that it is coming any time soon, but having been there first hand as a child bathing and lifting and caring for her parent, her first thought once the weight lifted was to admonish my sister and I to not go through that ourselves.

I know though that when any of us do find ourselves in that situation it is hard to not try to do and be all that they need. It does sound selfish when you try to verbalize the reasons, but I know that as a parent, I don't want my children's last memories to be that awkward and heartbreaking and stressful. But as a child, letting them go somewhere they can be better cared for will feel selfish and I'm sure I'll take that burden on for as long as I can, it seems most of us do.

I hope you find facilities that you like and that the people you see and talk to help you feel better about the decisions you are trying to make. Hopefully this will also give you the proper environment to spend quality time with your father while you can.

[dragongirl]

That helps thanks. I know there are those that can do everything they are saying will need to be done but I just don't believe that I can. I would rather he was in the care of someone who knew what they were doing because I feel useless right now I can't do anything I don't know if what I am doing is helping him any or not.

[bailey1ak]

That helps thanks. I know there are those that can do everything they are saying will need to be done but I just don't believe that I can. I would rather he was in the care of someone who knew what they were doing because I feel useless right now I can't do anything I don't know if what I am doing is helping him any or not.

Which is a frustrating place to be in.

So maybe on to lighter things to think on... how is your new computer treating you? Are you liking Windows 7? I'm guessing it is a laptop, but what size is it?

[dragongirl]

it is a laptop and it is 15.3 I think, it is a tad smaller than the 17 inch that the old one is but oh well I am not complaining. I am liking windows 7 so far no problems. It has better heat venting than the old one did that thing got so hot on the bottom and in the upper left had side of the keyboard but this one I have had on my lap for hours and felt no heat at all. I can feel the heat from the vent but no where else that is nice. The touch pad is different than what I am used to but I have a little laptop wireless mouse that I am using so no issue there.

[bailey1ak]

My laptop is 11inch, hubby's I think is the same size as yours. I'm not real comfortable with the touch pad part so like you I have a wireless mouse. I do have this awesome laptable I got at Target.

The laptop sits on it and it is very think, like a pad of paper thin. It then has a slide out area for the mouse and it is perfect. I suggest it to anyone I see. I think my mom got me mine for my birthday last year and my husband promptly stole it from me, so I had to purchase another one. They have them on sale from time to time. Mine is plain light gray with a darker shade on the mouse pull out pad, not nearly as fancy as the one pictured below.