Favorite Farscape Quotes

[Supreme Commander Sil]

Bi***n'?
Rygel: Bi***n'.
EDIT: Can't remember the episode .

[meredithchandler73]

Pretty much all of John Quixote!

And...just because it's appropriate for this time of year:

"Merry frelling Christmas!"

[Huaracocha]

I'm sure it's come up a dozen times already in this thread but my favourite has to be "get back in the dumpster Harvey"

[Intrepid]

Best exchange in the whole series:

Scorpius: Is this some kind of joke?
Crichton: Cosmic. Keep watching, blink and you'll miss it.
Crichton: Attention ladies & gentlemen and all ships at sea. If you look out your front window, you will see, by special request, your very own wormhole weapon.
Chiana: Crichton, what's happening?
Crichton: The end of all this crap. Hey, Emperor Sleestack - you big upright iguana! - What does it look like from the Death Star? ... Can I get a huzzah from the grand Peacekeeper *Bleep*! Wormhole at 12 o'clock, Lucy.
Crichton: Okay boys and girls, here are the rules. Find a penny, pick it up. Double it, you've got two pennies. Double it again - four. Double it 27 more times, and you've got a million dollars and the IRS all over your ass. Round and round and round it goes, where it stops nobody knows, but it all adds up...quick.
Chiana: Crichton, can you stop it?
Crichton: I don't know, Pip. Maybe it eats the whole galaxy, a monumental black hole, a giant whirling headstone marking the spot where we all used to live, play, and slaughter the innocent.
Scorpius: This is insane, Crichton.
[John lets out a choked laugh.]
Crichton: God! Four years on and you're finally getting that.

My Second favorite is between John and Aeryn from season 4 We are so screwed part 2 when they get scorpius back.

John: DID YOU KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT?
Scorpius: YES!
Aeryn: John
John: You believe him?
Aeryn: Yes I do.
John: Good, kill him lets go.
Aeryn: What? We came here to free him.
John: No we came here to make sure my knowledge didn't slip out of his mouth, kill him Aeryn and lets go!
Aeryn: Oh you want me to kill him!
John: Well I am not the assassin am I?
Aeryn: If you want him to die you can kill him yourself.
John: You made me promise I wouldn't.
Aeryn: Well I release you from that promise.
John: Say that again.
Aeryn: I release you from that promise.
John: Thank you! (points gun at scorpy)...I'll give you my bike if you kill him.
Scorpius:...MAY I SPEAK?!?
John/Aeryn: NO!
John: He's telling the truth.

[Thunderstorm]

John: What do I - want? What do I want? *I* - have not been chasing my ass all over the galaxy trying to pull out chunks of my brain. *I* - have not been sneaking fembots - and skreeths into the places where I live. YOU - want something! You. You want - what's inside my head. You want - what I know about wormholes. Because I - can leap tall galaxies in a single bound! I can scorch planets with a wave of my hand - and you - and you - and you. You can't do jack.

We're So Screwed Part 2 (possibly my favorite episode title )

[rushy]

Pretty much all scenes of Scorpius-Crichton.

[jelgate]

Zhaan: Crichton! Aeryn - Enough. You are both so good at gauging reality. Yet in this instance...

John: Zhaan - there's a planet out there -

Zhaan: A long shot at best John. The illness that is ravaging my body is frighteningly efficient.

Stark: NOOOO!

Zhaan: So, while I'm still sound of mind and spirit, I choose this path for myself.

D'Argo: Zhaan you're needed here.

Zhaan: At one time I believe I was - but then a family was born.

D'Argo: You birthed it.

Chiana: We love you Zhaan.

Stark: Decompression! Decompression! Where to go? Where to go? Where to go?

John: Zhaan it'll be easy - I'll start the generator - I'll come across.

Zhaan: If it is so easy - allow me.

Aeryn: Zhaan no!

Zhaan: N-! No - no more. If I am so needed - and so valued - and so wise. Then you will honor my words. You will obey me. For the longest time I feared physical demise - because my spiritual essence was suspect. But now I know I'm worthy. Now I know the transgressions have melted from my soul. Now I know I shall meet my Goddess, and be accepted to her bosom. Sensitive D'Argo - Exuberant Chiana- Wise Rygel - Selfless Aeryn - Innocent Crichton - My children. My teachers. My loves. There is no guilt. There is no blame. Only what is meant to be. Grow through your mistakes, and know that if patient, redemption will find you.

John: Wait for the wheel.

Zhaan: Thank you John Crichton.

[Thunderstorm]

Have we sent the don't shoot us were pathetic transmission yet.

[LoneStar1836]

Rygel: "I'll ah - consume this in a room without detonating crockery." - Season of Death



John: No sign of the Scarran - you think he's following?

D'Argo: Better hope he is!

John: Sounds like you got a plan.

D'Argo: We're going to bring him out here and see how HE likes being in the cold!

John: And what if he likes it?

D'Argo: Look! One plan at a time!

- Season of Death

[Thunderstorm]

Crichton, "I'm starting to look at Plan C."
Aeryn, "Which is?"
Crichton, "Forget the whole thing and run like hell before they kill us."


Crichton: You'll be happy to know we have a plan.
Chiana: I'll be happy to know if it works.

[LoneStar1836]

John: Go on! Keep movin'! I got a plan!
Aeryn: Don't tell me you have a plan!
John: What's wrong with 'em?!
Aeryn: They never work!
John: Damn these doors.... They always work!
Aeryn: Not the way you detail them!
John: Hey look! I get results! You're hung up on details!
Aeryn: Your plans never work!

- Self-Inflicted Wounds, pt 2


Jool: Ow! Ooh...wait for me!
Chiana: Not that way on Moya. You want to move faster? Get better shoes. Or maybe...get in better shape.
Jool: Do you know how much these shoes cost, young whore?
Chiana: For me? 3 sex acts. Probably double that for you.
Jool: You have some nerve to talk to me that way.
Chiana: One of my very, very best friends has just gone. Right now, I'm...I am nothing but nerve. You want someone to like you? Invest in a mirror.

- Self-Inflicted Wounds, pt 2


...Different Destinations:

D'Argo: Enough ladies! Some decorum please! This is a peace memorial. Let's not kill one another.


Aeryn: You know if we did change things, it is possible that we could improve the future.
John: With our record? You think that's gonna happen?


Aeryn: Feeling left out D'Argo? We're the only ones who don't have voices in our heads.


Chiana: You...are gonna have to stay out of this room if you can't...stop...shedding.
Jool: Without renewal, there's stagnation.
Chiana: Yeah? Well I feel the same way about men but I don't leave them lying around.
Jool: Can't you ever play nice? I got shot with an epicus infected arrow you monochromatic little *****!


Rygel: Gone! The planet...it's gone!
Jool: It can't be gone. I was just there 2 arns ago. I got shot. I drank piss.

[Thunderstorm]

Mind the Baby

D’Argo: "If I am to die on this asteroid I’d rather it be sooner than later. Besides, if I die you can eat me."
Aeryn: "You don’t look ripe to me."


Green Eyed Monster

CRICHTON: Yo, Jonah, we have been swallowed! That is down, and I, for one, do not want to be budong chow!

STARK: They're a frelling shipping hazard. Our ships energy fields make us... 'electromagnetic candy'.

CRICHTON: Man, you guys should see this ugly sticky-flesh. Kind of like my Aunt Ruth's special jello.


Revenging Angel

Crichton: Doctor Chuck Jones wrote the book on these situations.

[LoneStar1836]

I was watching Green Eyed Monster last night, TS and caught this.

John: Hey Stark! You ready yet? I'm stuck out here in SPAMland.


Rygel: Mother always said I'd die from incompetence! I finally know what she meant! That's why we keep people like you chained in the first place!

John: Yes it's new! It's improved! It's the Finger of Friendship! $19.95! But wait kids! There's more!


Eat Me:

Aeryn (to Rygel): If you try anything when I am gone. Whatever you have in the place of mivonks and wherever they are...will be gone when I get back.


Thanks for Sharing:

John: I know it's not as bad as last time. It's not the Cro-Magnon copy or the Alien Nation reject, but you can tell I'm the original right?


GreenJohn: I want an apology.
Tolven: I want the truth.
GreenJohn: You can't handle the.... Let's cut the crap. Let's cut to the chase. Stick this critter on my face. Whoa! Hey! Look at the sucker on that boy! Damn! In some parts of the universe this thing would be considered good eatin'! My name is John Crichton, Astronaut. I was not at the refreshment house after-hours. I was not present at any bombing or explosion. I did not have a private meeting with the beautiful Miss Sarova. The end. Cross my heart, smack me dead, stick a lobster on my head.


GreenJohn: Who's your Daddy? Come on! You know who your Daddy is. Who's your Daddy? D'Argo tell him who his Daddy is!
D'Argo: I'm your Daddy. (I love the way AS delivers that line. )

[Gamma626]

Chrichton: I have great eyes! Better than 20/20 and they're BLUE!

-Crackers don't matter

[SunKrux]

Chrichton: I have great eyes! Better than 20/20 and they're BLUE!

-Crackers don't matter

Aeryn: We are all going to die.