Joseph Mallozzi's Blog! (SPOILERS For All SG Shows and Dark Matter)

[Pitry]

It would make sense to bring her back for BAMSR. Anyway, I like the idea of the mystery. Thankfully we don't have to wait months for the conclusion.

To be completely honest, with the way the season has been progressing so far and my complete and utter dislike of what they did with Weir on Lifeline I'm much less spoiler-needy than previous years - which could be seen as good as I usually have no idea what goes on in episodes!
Which proves, I s'pose, you don't need a not go online at all in order to avoid spoilers - just show a compelte lack of interest!

[wurlitzer153]

http://josephmallozzi.blogspot.com/2...r-21-2007.html

Happy Anniversary to me! As someone has already pointed out, today marks the one year anniversary of this blog. Way back in November 21, 2006 when I composed my very first entry, I wrote:

“Unlike the last blog which focused on the show and its various behind-the-scenes happenings, this one will adopt a more scattershot approach, covering a variety of topics in a half-ass manner, ensuring that anyone checking it out in search of any one thing will come away feeling wholly dissatisfied or, at the very least, somewhat disappointed.”

Well, twelve months later, and even though I know I wasn’t able to dissatisfy everyone, I hope that, at the very least, I was able to disappoint each you at least once over the course of 360+ entries.

To commemorate the occasion, I thought I’d do something special. Not as special as a special 750 000th visitor “Virtual Dinner with Joe” giveaway of course. Something not-as-special-but-special-nevertheless. I am going to give away my (almost?) complete series run of Stargate SG-1 on DVD. I say almost because I can’t find season 10 but I’m sure it’ll turn up sometime between now and when I mail it off to the winner. And to be that lucky winner, all you have to do is answer the following questions that test your knowledge about me - or, more precisely, everything I’ve written about here over the past year - which really shouldn’t be that hard since you’re all regular readers who know this blog inside-out.

The first person to answer all questions correctly will receive the (almost?) complete Stargate SG-1 series on DVD which will ship out sometime in the New Year. If the winner resides outside of North America (in which case these Region 1 DVD’s would be all but useless to them) he/she will receive a just-as-special alternate prize that will prove just as thrilling.

Contest is open to all except relatives of Joseph Mallozzi and anonymous responders.

This may take a while…

1. Name 3 members of the League of Aliens and Mutants for Evil.

2. What was the warning on the cool Stargate Atlantis mug I received from MGM?

3. What is my dark horse football team of the 2007-2008 NFL season?

4. What did we find out we had unwittingly consumed in Japan when we ate a soup containing “milt”?

5. According to Cookie Monster’s account of a recent Games Night on Sesame Street, why was The Count arrested?

6. Name one of the ways I once suspected my wife of trying to kill me.

7. Who was my dog Jelly named after?

8. What was the title of the phony episode outline that “mistakenly” appeared on my blog?

9. What did Carl give Marty G. for his birthday this year?

10. What delightful delicacy have I likened to “tiny orange tongues”.

11. How did I kick-start my incredible weight-loss regimen of late 2006-early 2007?

12. What Marvel villain adorns my Bridge Studios pace card?

13. What mispronounciation during an audition for SG-1 villainess Adria almost had Paul, Andy Mikita, and myself on the floor?

14. What Disney movie did Carl Binder write the screenplay for?

15. What did Ben Browder say to Pierre Bernard upon first spotting him at this year’s Comic Con?

16. Name 3 authors (and their respective books) I have enjoyed reading.

17. How old was my grandmother when she passed away?

18. Name one of the fictitious anime characters (and the series they appeared in) I claimed to have voiced during a recent appearance at an anime con.

19. Name one of the top ten shows that influenced me growing up.

20. What is the name of Aloysius P. Hazzencockle’s orphanage?

[prion]

NOVEMBER 21 2007

http://josephmallozzi.blogspot.com/2...r-21-2007.html

Happy Anniversary to me! As someone has already pointed out, today marks the one year anniversary of this blog. Way back in November 21, 2006 when I composed my very first entry, I wrote:

“Unlike the last blog which focused on the show and its various behind-the-scenes happenings, this one will adopt a more scattershot approach, covering a variety of topics in a half-ass manner, ensuring that anyone checking it out in search of any one thing will come away feeling wholly dissatisfied or, at the very least, somewhat disappointed.”

Well, twelve months later, and even though I know I wasn’t able to dissatisfy everyone, I hope that, at the very least, I was able to disappoint each you at least once over the course of 360+ entries.

To commemorate the occasion, I thought I’d do something special. Not as special as a special 750 000th visitor “Virtual Dinner with Joe” giveaway of course. Something not-as-special-but-special-nevertheless. I am going to give away my (almost?) complete series run of Stargate SG-1 on DVD. I say almost because I can’t find season 10 but I’m sure it’ll turn up sometime between now and when I mail it off to the winner. And to be that lucky winner, all you have to do is answer the following questions that test your knowledge about me - or, more precisely, everything I’ve written about here over the past year - which really shouldn’t be that hard since you’re all regular readers who know this blog inside-out.

The first person to answer all questions correctly will receive the (almost?) complete Stargate SG-1 series on DVD which will ship out sometime in the New Year. If the winner resides outside of North America (in which case these Region 1 DVD’s would be all but useless to them) he/she will receive a just-as-special alternate prize that will prove just as thrilling.

Contest is open to all except relatives of Joseph Mallozzi and anonymous responders.

This may take a while…

1. Name 3 members of the League of Aliens and Mutants for Evil.

2. What was the warning on the cool Stargate Atlantis mug I received from MGM?

3. What is my dark horse football team of the 2007-2008 NFL season?

4. What did we find out we had unwittingly consumed in Japan when we ate a soup containing “milt”?

5. According to Cookie Monster’s account of a recent Games Night on Sesame Street, why was The Count arrested?

6. Name one of the ways I once suspected my wife of trying to kill me.

7. Who was my dog Jelly named after?

8. What was the title of the phony episode outline that “mistakenly” appeared on my blog?

9. What did Carl give Marty G. for his birthday this year?

10. What delightful delicacy have I likened to “tiny orange tongues”.

11. How did I kick-start my incredible weight-loss regimen of late 2006-early 2007?

12. What Marvel villain adorns my Bridge Studios pace card?

13. What mispronounciation during an audition for SG-1 villainess Adria almost had Paul, Andy Mikita, and myself on the floor?

14. What Disney movie did Carl Binder write the screenplay for?

15. What did Ben Browder say to Pierre Bernard upon first spotting him at this year’s Comic Con?

16. Name 3 authors (and their respective books) I have enjoyed reading.

17. How old was my grandmother when she passed away?

18. Name one of the fictitious anime characters (and the series they appeared in) I claimed to have voiced during a recent appearance at an anime con.

19. Name one of the top ten shows that influenced me growing up.

20. What is the name of Aloysius P. Hazzencockle’s orphanage?

Well, blast, I think I can answer two... maybe.... good luck to the winner!

[PG15]

And just to make it complete...

http://josephmallozzi.blogspot.com/2...r-21-2007.html

November 21, 2007

Photos: The prize...

Write-Up: Can you believe it? It's been one year already since Joe started his blog! I don't know about you, but it seemed like yesterday when Joe answered all of his questions as a metaphor for vomiting due to a bad salad, or the time when he called all those much-deserving "fans" Shrill and Uninformed Lemmings, or how about that day when Aloysius Hazzencockle first wrote to his many, many victims, or that day when Carl Binder died eating his Anahaim Mighty Ducks cupcake, only to spring up alive many weeks later in front of a white board covered in mistaken spoilers! And yes, who can forget Comic Con and the Chocolate Party, with their dozens upon dozens of photos? Or hey, remember that day when Paul McGillion graced our computer screens as Joe put up his very first video? Of course, no one will forget the day that plucky, handsome fan won that magical gift of flocking, as well as the times when Robert Cooper and Carl Binder had their guest Q&As. Along with these particularly memorable moments, are those many many restaurant reviews, behind the scenes info-dumps and prop/background art, and those wonderfully whacky book and dog updates. Oh, and how about that time when Joe went on about how he treats those that irked him...oh wait, that WAS yesterday.

And yes, that was all from memory.

Suffice it to say, Joe has made us laugh, cry, angry, and SQUEEE multiple times. To the celebrate the occasion, Joe is giving away (almost) his OWN PERSONAL Stargate SG1 DVD collection! What a guy! to win it, answer the following questions correctly:

1. Name 3 members of the League of Aliens and Mutants for Evil.

2. What was the warning on the cool Stargate Atlantis mug I received from MGM?

3. What is my dark horse football team of the 2007-2008 NFL season?

4. What did we find out we had unwittingly consumed in Japan when we ate a soup containing “milt”?

5. According to Cookie Monster’s account of a recent Games Night on Sesame Street, why was The Count arrested?

6. Name one of the ways I once suspected my wife of trying to kill me.

7. Who was my dog Jelly named after?

8. What was the title of the phony episode outline that “mistakenly” appeared on my blog?

9. What did Carl give Marty G. for his birthday this year?

10. What delightful delicacy have I likened to “tiny orange tongues”.

11. How did I kick-start my incredible weight-loss regimen of late 2006-early 2007?

12. What Marvel villain adorns my Bridge Studios pace card?

13. What mispronounciation during an audition for SG-1 villainess Adria almost had Paul, Andy Mikita, and myself on the floor?

14. What Disney movie did Carl Binder write the screenplay for?

15. What did Ben Browder say to Pierre Bernard upon first spotting him at this year’s Comic Con?

16. Name 3 authors (and their respective books) I have enjoyed reading.

17. How old was my grandmother when she passed away?

18. Name one of the fictitious anime characters (and the series they appeared in) I claimed to have voiced during a recent appearance at an anime con.

19. Name one of the top ten shows that influenced me growing up.

20. What is the name of Aloysius P. Hazzencockle’s orphanage?

Get going and start searching his blog for the answers!

Questions:

Bupkis, just like the first entry that started it all!

(unfortunately, it has NOT been one year since zuz made this magnificient smilie)

Now all we need is Xicer and sgureka to do an entry and we'll be all set.

[Xicer]

Heh sorry, fat chance of that anytime this week, I got trimester finals starting next week so I won't have a lotta time for stuff.

[PG15]

That's alright. 3 is a nice, round number.

Good luck on those finals!!

[wurlitzer153]

Well, I can easily answer #3!

(Hint: It's my home team)

[prion]

Got the answers (since he's got a winner, no harm in posting). Just got these from a quick googling. Under cut for size as I just quoted his blog.

Spoiler:

My answers:

1. Name 3 members of the League of Aliens and Mutants for Evil.

I suspect any of these, even John Tesh, are members:

Cc: Calamitous Jane, Glaxnor the Miscreant, Sinderella Washington, Xxxaptak’qul, Dr. Catastro, Dr. Disastro, Dr. Quinn Meddlesome Woman, Ray Mephistopheles, Archfiend Animus, Brutus Badly, the Plague Zombies, Vorzik the Planet Squisher, the Malevolater, Count Sinister, Kugal Baruth, Death Knell, Star Father Celestio, Shatterdam, Princess Arcana, the Mystifier, the Procrastinator, the Soul Emancipator, Quickstrike, Professor Frosty, Flamer the Flaming Man, the Pummeler, the Purple Lamprey, and John Tesh.”


2. What was the warning on the cool Stargate Atlantis mug I received from MGM?

“This product contains or may contain a chemical known to the state of California to cause birth defects and other reproductive harm”.

3. What is my dark horse football team of the 2007-2008 NFL season?

“Over in the NFL, my dark horse Browns were winners and my reverse dark horse Seahawks were losers”

4. What did we find out we had unwittingly consumed in Japan when we ate a soup containing “milt”?

“Fondy’s dumpling contained a mysterious yet incredibly sweet and creamy white filling that I asked our waitress about. She pointed to the menu: monkfish milt. Not a clue. It wasn’t until later that night when I checked online that I discovered we’d eaten monkfish sperm.”

5. According to Cookie Monster’s account of a recent Games Night on Sesame Street, why was The Count arrested?

.”…den Big Bird fall down stairs (Jagermeister) and Ernie have to call ambulance, den police come and arrest Count for yelling and pants down.”

6. Name one of the ways I once suspected my wife of trying to kill me.

“March 17 2007 - The first time I suspected my wife was trying to kill me was about four years ago when we were still living in Vancouver’s Yaletown district. I remember walking into the kitchen to get a drink when I noticed a half-filled spring water bottle sitting by the sink. “Is this okay to drink?”I asked Fondy. She was so focused on sautéing up our lunch that she glanced over as she replied: “Yes.” Now, you may think it a strange thing to ask but Fondy has always been a bit of a germophobe, always quick to lecture me on the dangers of eating or drinking anything that has been sitting around for more than three days. Had this particular bottle of water passed the 3-day “don’t go there” point? Fondy seemed somewhat distracted on my first attempt, so I tried again: “Is this okay to drink?” “Yes!”she snapped back, this time offering an annoyed look back before redirecting her attention back to the stove. Satisfied, I uncapped the bottle and took a nice, long drink. It was until the second swallow that I became fully aware of the brackish taste at which point the realization hit me: it wasn’t water. “Don’t drink it! Don’t drink it!”Fondy warned, also coming to the realization that I’d made a big mistake. Perhaps the fact that I was vomiting into the sink was the big giveaway. As it turns out, the bottle did contain water. Well, approximately 50% water. The other 50% was OxiClean, a bleaching agent she would use to clean up after our dogs. Fortunately, I’d only swallowed a couple of mouthfuls and, thankfully, had thrown up most of it. A quick call to Poison Control put my mind at ease and I forgot all about the seeming attempt on my life - until several months later.”

7. Who was my dog Jelly named after?

Susan the Tartan Turtle writes: “How did Jelly get her name?”
Answer: She was named after the late Joe Vitelli’s character in Analyze This.

8. What was the title of the phony episode outline that “mistakenly” appeared on my blog?

Holy crap Joe! Was it your intention to reveal to us the entire plot of "Foxy Loxy with Floppy Sockies" in those Carl Binder pics? Because, you know, baring a few of the phrases, we can pretty much decipher the whole episode right here...well, unless you make drastic alteration and edits, but still.
********And
Dee in South Africa writes: “Is this what "Foxy Loxy with Floppy Sockies" is, an anagram?”
Answer: You’ve found me out! Yes, Fox Loxy with Floppy Socksies is, in fact, an anagram of Office With Spooky Lox Sly Pyx. Now it all makes sense!

9. What did Carl give Marty G. for his birthday this year?

“… I know that Carl gifted him with the second season DV D of Punky Brewster (which included Carl’s very first produced episode - Love Thy Neighbor - a subtly understated yet powerful tale of ageist intolerance, redemption, and a dog sporting a tweed hat. I know this because Martin made us watch the episode at lunch today”

10. What delightful delicacy have I likened to “tiny orange tongues”.

“While I’m sure many will turn up their noses at the thought of eating sea urchin (a.k.a. uni), I’d wager to say most are only familiar with the fresh-packaged variety which a friend once described as: “Redolent of the sea - right beside an open sewer main.”. The live version, scooped and served atop its hollowed-out spiky shell, is similar in appearance (think tiny orange tongues) only a little more vibrant in color, and far superior in taste and texture, possessed of a unique creamy sweetness”

11. How did I kick-start my incredible weight-loss regimen of late 2006-early 2007?

”Dec 16 2006 - Incredibly, in spite of what some have described as my “alarming eating habits”, I’ve managed to shed 10 lbs since leaving for my Asia trip. And I accomplished this without the benefit of working out. I owe it all to The Snake Soup Diet. It’s an amazingly quick and easy way to lose weight”.

12. What Marvel villain adorns my Bridge Studios pace card?

Sort of a trick question as there’s only one villain on your card

Mar 8 - “Finally, got my own Bridge Studio pace card today (thanks Lawren). So, seriously, what do you think? Does the green of the body suit bring out the opaque or my fishbowl helmet?”
Picture at http://bp1.blogger.com/_bu0vVgPPyEs/...h/DSC02544.JPG

13. What mispronounciation during an audition for SG-1 villainess Adria almost had Paul, Andy Mikita, and myself on the floor?

“Of course, I’ve heard worse mispronunciations. I remember one audition for the Adria character where an aspirant referred to herself as “the daughter of the Oreo”.”

14. What Disney movie did Carl Binder write the screenplay for?’

“Carl: … I then went to work on a show in Vancouver called Neon Rider. There were two writers on staff -- me and Brad Wright. He went off to develop SG-1, and I went off to co-write Pocahontas for Disney”

15. What did Ben Browder say to Pierre Bernard upon first spotting him at this year’s Comic Con?

“Ben, upon spotting Pierre who put in an appearance in 200 as a zombie that Mitchell guns down: “Bernard! Didn’t I kill you already?”.”

16. Name 3 authors (and their respective books) I have enjoyed reading.

Paolo Bacigalupi’s “Yellow Card Man” -
http://www.asimovs.com/_issue_0704/yellowcard.shtml
Pick up: The Fluted Girl (Great Science Fiction Stories), Fast Forward 1: Future Fiction from the Cutting Edge.

Michael F. Flynn’s “Dawn, Sunset and the Colours of the Earth" -
http://www.asimovs.com/_issue_0704/DawnSunset.shtml
Pick up: Eifelheim, Rogue Star, The Wreck of the River of Stars, In the Country of the Blind, Lodestar, Falling Stars.

Ian McDonald‘s “The Djinn‘s Wife“ -
http://www.asimovs.com/_issue_0704/thedjinnswife.shtml
Pick up: Brasyl, River of Gods, Ares Express.

17. How old was my grandmother when she passed away?

“…my own grandmother who passed away at the ripe old age of 112”

18. Name one of the fictitious anime characters (and the series they appeared in) I claimed to have voiced during a recent appearance at an anime con.

A trick question:
Aug 19-When they finally moved over to my table, they were clearly disappointed to discover I had done no anime voice work to speak of and silently skulked off. And then you said later
They moved on to my table and predictably, wondered: “What voice work have you done?” I stared blankly back at them and then, after a few seconds, tried: “I was Orville the recalcitrant emu in Butter Ball Apocalypse. Did you see that one?” They shook their heads. “Sugoki from Squidbaiters One and Two? Carmelito 3000 from Mecha-Nibs? Sunomono Jones from Junior Revenge Seekers?” That last one seemed to spark some recognition in the guy dressed up as the hedgehog soldier who gave a slight nod and an: “I think I’ve seen it at the store.” I signed autographs for all for. And it was downhill from there.

19. Name one of the top ten shows that influenced me growing up.
10. Dallas (1978-1991):
9. Spiderman (1967-1970):
8. The Beverly Hillbillies (1962-1971):
7. Soap (1977-1981):
6. Gilligan’s Island (1964-1967):
5. Hogan’s Heroes (1965-1971):
4. Star Trek (1966-1969):
3. Get Smart (1965-1970):
2. The Flintstones (1960-1966):
1. Batman (1966-1968):

20. What is the name of Aloysius P. Hazzencockle’s orphanage?

“As regards the orghanage name conclusivelly, ALI IN THE FAMILY - HOME FOR ORPHANS AND ALOYSIUS P. HAZZENCOCKLE has finally caught my likes,and i settles for that .”

[PG15]

Yeah...you're not gonna get it.

It's obvious you searched for the answers, and guess what: I did it too, and yet my comment wasn't approved since I specificaly told Joe that if searching for the answer was against the rules, he wouldn't need to approve my comment.

So I guess it's against the rules to actually search. Or...he's just hiding the entries?

Oh boy, I really should've thought this out.

[Platschu]

I can answer only 5-6 question, so I can call myself a beginner JM fan.

[PG15]

Well, now I feel inadequate. I can only do 3-4, off of the top of my head.

Of course, I still remember the entries themselves, just not the details. Yep, that's my defense.

[Platschu]

I will never forget Carl Binder's face, when he ate that duck for bet.

[prion]

Yeah...you're not gonna get it.

It's obvious you searched for the answers, and guess what: I did it too, and yet my comment wasn't approved since I specificaly told Joe that if searching for the answer was against the rules, he wouldn't need to approve my comment.

So I guess it's against the rules to actually search. Or...he's just hiding the entries?

Oh boy, I really should've thought this out.

Well, duh, of course I searched! I'm hardly going to fill my mind with this trivia.

Since he established no rules that I could see, you could search the web. If he expects people to remember all those facts, then only the obsessive fanatics will remember and maybe he should put 'em on a 'might be stalker' list

[prion]

NOVEMBER 22nd

No video, no pics

http://josephmallozzi.blogspot.com/2...r-22-2007.html

It’s something I’ve been wrestling with for a while and, well, this morning, I finally decided to accept it. No, better. I’ve chosen to embrace it. I’ve always been respectful toward those with alternate opinions or values, and yet I’d always considered people who espoused this particular conviction - well, a little wacky. That was because I had the facts wrong. I pre-judged without actually walking the long mile in their shoes. But that has changed.

Of course I realize that some of you will feel that this isn’t the forum to discuss such a topic and that I’d be far better off keeping this epiphany to myself. But I can’t do that. It’s part of who I am now. So please understand - I’m not preaching to your here, only telling you about my own wonderfully revelatory experience in the hopes that maybe, just maybe, some of you will open your hearts to this life-altering truth:

You know what makes a sandwich great? Cucumber slices!

I know, I know. I can already here the disappointed groans, anxious murmurs, the sad, slow headshakes. But I don’t care. I’m comfortable with my new, pro-sliced cucumber stance. While I’ll never be a fanatic (eating cucumbers on their own or tossing them in a salad and calling that a meal), I’ll probably never again eat another sandwich without their delightfully crunchy presence.

The veil has been lifted and, even though some of you may be disappointed, know that I am, at heart, the same person I always was.

Which clearly some of you know better than others judging from the response to yesterday’s blog. To win the (somewhat) special prize, I figured I would test you with 20 tricky blog-related questions. “When’s the deadline?”Fondy asked. “I don’t have one,”I replied. In fact, I assumed I’d have responses trickling in over the better part of the weekend. If no one came up with all twenty answers, which was more than likely given the range of questions, I would end the contest on Sunday and award the prize to the person who got the most answers right. And so, I posted my blog entry and headed out for dinner. About an hour later, I received my first response from Charles Schneider who scored an impressive 18 out of 20. A half an hour later came the second response - from the eventual winner who scored 20 out o 20.

The winner? None other than encyclopedic blog regular PG-15. Congratulations PG-15. Again. Honorable mentions to everyone who made a game effort, especially Uber, HiddenSky, and Emily who got ‘em all right but, alas, weren’t fast enough.

As for those of you wondering about the answers…

Answers at blog. wouldn't fit here

Today’s mailbag:

Royal Nonsuch writes: “Can you hint as to which series concept (if any) was cut?”

Answer: It was pre-Stargate and, believe me, not all that interesting.


Anonymous #2 writes: “is Torri Higginson in 4 episodes int he first half or not?”

Answer: The first time I answered this question way back when, I said that Torri’s 4 episodes would be in the first half of the season. This is no longer the case.

Amac251 writes: “ What was everyone's reaction (at the studio) to Atlantis receiving a Peoples' Choice nomination?”

Answer: Everyone was both excited and honored. Did you go vote? Did you get your friends and family to vote? Great! Now go back and keep voting!


Val a ecrit: “ Je voulais vous demander, est-ce que Torri ou Amanda ont été blessée par certaines remarques qu'elles auraient pu lire?”

Reponse: “Sans doute ils ont lu certains de ces commentaires.”

Morjana writes: “Your blog has been nominated -- in several different categories -- for the 2008 Blogger's Choice Awards!”

Answer: Is there some sort of awards ceremony I need to attend? Would you happen to know if they’ll be serving dinner and, if so, what is on the menu?

[PG15]

Hehehehehe...Fantastic.