Wraith Worshippers Anonymous - Introduction, Joining And Inactivity, Rules, OOC Chat

[ciannwn]

*Waves to everyone*

[Draco-Stellaris]

*waves to ciannwn*

Hope your back is better.

[geekywraith]

*waves back to ciannwn*

I hope you're feeling better. I can relate having to lie down for an hour (in my case because of exaustion).

*Kenny offers a cup of tea or coffee with Ronon shaped cookies*

[ciannwn]

My back is still very sore - am hoping a few days of pain killers plus resting a lot will help.

[Draco-Stellaris]

*sends careful hugs to ciannwn*

Just saying hello and leaving hugs for everyone before I go back to sleep, it's till too hot here and I don't feel up to anything at the moment. The only thing that helps is drinking, lying down and sleeeeeeeeeping. To add to general drowsiness, DS junior came to our bed last night and insisted on sleeping between hubby and me, taking up an enormous amount of space. It's hard to believe how a two-year-old, 90 centimetre-sized toddler can occupy two thirds of a double-bed. Combined with the heat it was even more difficult to sleep properly.

I'm going to lie down again, see you later!

[Todd's Pet]

Todd plushie is now complete:

Spoiler:

Spoiler:

[IV]

@ciannwn: I hope your back feels better soon :x
@DS: I know the feeling! It's like some great... heat monster is just sucking out my brain and replacing it with humidity.
@TP: Omg.. that Todd plushie is awesome.

[Todd's Pet]

Thank you

Eddie and Todd done... Steve, Kenny and Bullseye still to go...

[Todd's Pet]

Thanks for the plushie greens, DS! *hugs* This lack of VMs is starting to get very annoying now

[Draco-Stellaris]

You're welcome.
Yes, it's awkward having only PMs or posts for communication. I hope the software update will come soon.

[Todd's Pet]

A stand-alone TP's Hive ep, inspired by a silly TV show called Pet Nation...

Spoiler:

Pet Care Lessons For Wraith…

Eddie wandered into the worshippers’ communal lounge, looking for his fifth victim for his five-a-day regime and found all the women crowded around a flat-screen TV they’d recently had installed. What was more they were all laughing and cooing and aahing and saying things like, “Awww, isn’t he cute…?”
Curiosity piqued, Eddie elbowed his way to the front so he could see what was taking their interest away from his entrance and was completely puzzled by the scene before him. “What’s so cute about those animals?” he asked SW, taking the opportunity, while her attention was distracted, to make a covert inspection of her feeding spot.
“They’re cats and dogs, Eddie,” SW replied, swatting his hand away – twice. “Humans on Earth keep them as pets.”
“Pets? Like TP, you mean,” he asked, earning a glower from TP and getting his hand swatted away from SW’s cleavage for a third time.
“Aaawww, look – bunnies! They’re so fluffy and sweet,” Geeky cooed.
“Snuggle Bunnies?” Eddie snorted and winked at TP, who stuck her tongue out at him.
“Well, people do treat their pets as companions,” Orb put in. “In fact most people pamper their pets and love them to bits.”
Eddie sidled over to Orb and put his hands on her shoulders, “So they really are just like you girls, then?” he asked, surreptitiously letting his hands slide down her chest and getting both hands slapped for his trouble.
“I think the girls are more than just pets, bro,” Bullseye countered as he spotted Eddie’s wandering hands and gave him a low growl of warning.
Leaping across the room, Eddie flung himself onto the sofa beside TP, causing her to bounce several times. Just then there was a new round of laughter as the dogs on the screen started barking and running around the studio, jumping up onto the presenters and generally causing chaos.
“Not very well behaved pets, are they?” Eddie observed and slipped an arm around TP’s waist to hold her close while he peered down the front of her top.
“Quite!” TP said and gave him a playful slap on the side of his head. “Makes you wonder who are the pets and who are the handlers, doesn’t it?” She gave him a pointed look but he simply returned it with one of his best leers, leaned toward her and tipped both TP and himself onto the floor.
“I haven’t had my 5-a-day yet, Babe,” he laughed.
Geeky and Kenny rolled their eyes and Kenny said, “I think TP’s right to wonder who the pets around here really are!”
Bullseye got that gleam in his eye he got when he had a good idea. “We could do better than that – we should make our own TV show!” he said excitedly.
“Just don’t let Eddie on it,” Kenny groaned, watching Eddie do an excellent impression of an octopus while TP tried to defend herself.
“We should probably keep TP away too!” Spike laughed as TP let out a giggle and then squealed, “Eddieeeeeeee!”
SW laughed, picked up the remote to turn the volume up and then turning to Eddie and TP, said, “Get a room, you two!”

-oOo-

“It will show the other hives in the Alliance how our human pets are of great benefit to us, Commander,” Bullseye pointed out to Todd. “Even the humans say having a pet is good for your health.”
Todd on the other hand was not the least bit convinced. “As far as I’m concerned,” he grumbled, “our human pets are more often more bother than they’re worth.”
“Ah, but that’s the whole point,” Bullseye told the Commander, preening slightly at his own idea. “This television show of theirs was informative, giving tips on how to train your pets, keep them happy and well-disciplined. I’m sure we can set a good example for the rest of the hives.”
“You think so…?” Todd asked and raised one eyebrow ridge.
“Certainly,” Bullseye replied, “If we can train drones, we can train humans.”
“Hmm, you could probably train human males, but the women…” Todd stroked his goatee thoughtfully.
“We can start the show with TP – her name is Todd’s Pet, after all…”
“Aahh… it might be better if you don’t put TP in this show,” Todd told the other wraith as a momentary expression of mild panic flitted across his features.
Bullseye looked puzzled. “I hope you don’t mind me asking, Commander, but… if TP is really so much of a trial to you, why are you so fond of her?”
“You know, I really haven’t the foggiest idea…” Todd replied wistfully.

-oOo-

[Todd's Pet]

Continued...

Spoiler:

-oOo-

“The Commander says you’re the best drone handler in the Alliance,” Bullseye told Steve, hoping to appeal to his ego.
“Yes, but I’d rather tackle an entire fleet of drones than a handful of women – have you ever tried to control a human female?” Steve said.
“Well, I do have Orb these days…”
“Yes, I noticed… quiet little thing, isn’t she?”
“Oh, I don’t know… she has her moments…” Bullseye let slip a sly smile.
“For Queens’ sakes just don’t let TP start talking to her or she’ll be completely uncontrollable within a week!” Steve rolled his eyes melodramatically.
“Em... I think it may be too late for that…”
Steve, however, wasn’t paying attention any more as he removed the stoppers from several bottles and sniffed the contents of each, one by one. “This one or this one?” he demanded and pushed two bottles under Bullseye’s nose.
“For what?” Bullseye enquired.
“For TP, of course,” Steve answered. “Which one do you think she’d like best?”
“That one,” Bullseye decided straight away, pointing to the purple bottle whose contents smelled sweet but with a hint of something spicy and warm. “Can I ask you… if TP is really so much trouble, why are you so fond of her?”
“You know, some days I ask myself that very same question…” Steve replied with a sigh.

-oOo-

“I beg your pardon?” TP asked Bullseye incredulously. “You want to do a TV show for wraith on how to look after their pets? And WE’RE the pets? And Orb is okay with this, is she?”
“Well…” he shuffled his feet, “I haven’t actually told her yet, but…”
“And the Commander? He’s up for this, is he?” she interrupted.
“Yes, of course – I wouldn’t do anything like that without his permission!” TP gave Bullseye one of her looks and he gazed down at his still-shuffling feet, “Well, provided you’re not in it, that is…”
To his surprise, TP threw back her head and pealed with laughter! She was still chuckling when Orb, SW, Geeky and TA came wandering into the lounge with an assortment of wraith in tow.
“What’s so funny?” SW asked as Orb wondered what Bullseye had been up to.
“I told you I just love Bullseye’s sense of humour,” TP told them all. “You’ll never believe what he’s come up with this time!” And she proceeded to tell the assembled women his idea to put on a TV show for the hives in the Alliance – all about how to train and look after their human pets.
“Train us?” SW and Geeky exclaimed, narrowing their eyes at Bullseye in an impressively predatory manner. Spike, Kenny and Bob snickered in the background, nudged each other and gave their brother pitying looks.
“Us? Pets?” TA snarled. Immediately the three Eddie clones clustered round her.
“Our little pet,” they purred in unison and snorted with laughter – then yelped in pain when TA kicked all three of them in the shins.
Suddenly, TP stopped laughing and said, “So, the Commander wants to show them all how to train their human pets, does he? Gather round girls – I have an idea!”
The three Eddies, Bob and Bullseye tried to join in the huddle, but Orb turned round and told them, “Girls only, boys – clear off!”
“Oh dear… I can tell this is not going to end well…” Aurel added anxiously as the wraith all trooped out of the lounge.

-oOo-

Bullseye and Aurel stood in the wings, watching nervously as the show was finally broadcast – live! Almost three-quarters of the way through and they’d begun to congratulate themselves. The show had opened with grooming products and several of the girls smiled sweetly, sitting still and well-behaved as their hair was washed, straightened and braided and they had passed comment – only when asked – on which were their favourite products.
Next came the toys section and fortunately Seth had convinced Bullseye not to go along with Eddie’s idea of what kind of toys the girls liked best – although he had make a mental note of some of the more odd-looking gadgets Eddie had brought along and reminded himself to ask Orb about them later. Instead, they had gone with how to keep your human pet constructively occupied, with things like painting and crochet, and they had managed to find several wraith not only willing but proud to show off their human’s artistic talents.
The only fly in the ointment so far had been the pet accessories, which Aurel had taken way too literally… the girls had not been too keen on the leashes, although a good handful of them did rather like the spiked collars and had insisted on adding them to their outfits!
Finally, Steve and Seth – who had been coerced into acting as presenters – introduced their special guest star, the Supreme Commander Todd, and then had announced the segway for the final section: How to train and discipline your pet. Aurel stood in the wings and held his breath, his nails now ragged from gnawing on them with his sharp teeth…
“Training a human is very like training a drone,” Steve started, sounding confident, smooth and professional. “You have to get them to accept your authority. Let’s give you a few examples…” Suddenly, Steve’s calm expression disappeared; he had been assured they would be using junior worshippers, ones who would still be in awe of wraith, obedient and easy to handle… but when he saw the two women striding onto the stage, he put his head in his hands and groaned.

-oOo-

[Todd's Pet]

Continued...

Spoiler:

-oOo-

TP and SW immediately made a lunge for Todd where he sat on the sofa, open-mouthed with shock. With a big grin on her face, TP elbowed her way past SW and lept into Todd’s lap, nuzzling her face into his hair. “Hey there, big, gorgeous green guy,” she purred.
Todd tilted his chin and looked aghast. “Behave yourself, TP!” he growled.
“Ooohh! I didn’t hear you saying that last night…” she giggled.
Todd dropped his chin and snarled quietly into her ear, “That was in private! This is being broadcast to the entire Alliance… every hive… all thirteen of them…”
“Mmm,” she continued to purr and started nibbling on Todd’s ear lobe. “Thirteen’s my lucky number.”
Suddenly, Todd slid his hands under TP’s armpits and lifted her bodily off his knees, then deposited her in Steve’s lap. “You’re the trainer – control her!” he snapped.
Steve held both hands up and away from TP. “Whoa! I train drones!” he said, but nevertheless attempted a little wraith-like assertiveness, just in case TP was in a good mood. He patted the sofa by his side and told her, “Sit here, like a good girl.” TP remained resolutely in his lap and her eyes twinkled as she stroked her fingers through his hair and gave him that smile of hers that he just knew meant she was up to no good.
Meanwhile, SW got comfy on the sofa next to Todd and stroked her fingers up and down his neck. Several times he nudged her aside and when he eventually tried to physically remove her hand his efforts simply tangled her fingers in his hair, making her giggle before she flipped herself round to sit in his lap.
“Down!” Todd growled, but SW merely bounced up and down on his knees and giggled more.
Just when Steve was convinced he was doomed to die before the day was done, he spotted Bullseye in a crouched run across the studio floor before he deposited several bottles of scent and a selection of jewellery on the floor behind the presenting sofa. “Carrot, not stick!” Bullseye hissed and then ran back over to the wings.
Inspiration hit Steve not a moment too soon; he sensed Todd’s fuse growing shorter by the second as he tried, in vain, to look as if he were in control of SW and TP, who were in the process of turning defiant into an art form.
Swiftly, Steve picked up the purple glass bottle and offered it to TP. “You can have this if you sit nicely,” he told her firmly. She made a grab for it, but he snatched it just out of her reach. “No,” he told her more confidently, “Only if you sit on the sofa. Nicely.” He patted the space at his side again and then added quietly, so only she could hear him, “I’ll massage it into you later if you behave.”
Instantly, TP lept to her feet and sat primly on the sofa next to Steve giving him a smile overflowing with sugary sweetness. As he gave her the bottle he decided to push his luck and asked, “What do you say?”
Flashing him the coyest look she could muster, TP said, “Thank you.”
Spotting TP’s barely perceptible wink as Steve reached behind the sofa again, SW twigged and started to bounce on Todd’s lap again, then stopped suddenly and smiled sweetly at Steve when he held out another scent bottle. Without even being asked, she jumped onto the sofa and sat there with her hands clasped neatly in her lap and said, “Thank you,” without prompting when he gave her the bottle.
Seth’s mouth twitched at one corner as he cottoned on to the girls’ game and he had to exercise immense self-control not to laugh at the High Commander’s stunned expression when both TP and SW obediently demonstrated, when asked, various advantages to having a human pet, such as shoulder massages, hair braiding and leather coat cleaning – each time for a reward, of course.
“And so you can see how easy it is to have an amenable human companion when you train with rewards rather than punishments,” Steve wound up the show, his expression back to his normal calm self-reassurance.

-oOo-

[Todd's Pet]

Last part...

Spoiler:

-oOo-

Seth strolled into the worshippers’ lounge just as the girls were comparing their hauls of “booty” – the huge coffee table in the middle of the room groaned under the weight of scent bottles, jewellery, boxes of chocolates, books, cosmetics…
“There’s been a dramatic increase in requests for worshippers across the Alliance,” Seth told them, “Although I can’t help wondering how long it will be before every retail outlet on Earth is completely empty.” He turned and looked at TP and SW, “Was that part of your plan all along?”
“No, actually,” SW replied. “We were just going to give Todd hell for comparing us to pets!”
“But then we decided it would be more productive to play along with Bullseye’s stroke of genius!” TP added.
“So, it looks like your little enterprise was a success after all,” Todd’s deep voice carried across the room as he entered. “The rest of the hives probably think that if we can carry on functioning efficiently with you lot on board, we must be the most strong-willed wraith alive!”
“You’re still King of the Hill, then?” TP asked Todd, smiling broadly.
“As is often the way with you, my Pet, things have a way of accidentally turning out for the best.”
“So you still love me?” she teased him, reached up to twirl a strand of his hair between her fingers and gave him a grossly exaggerated coy sideways look through her eyelashes.
“Indeed… although some days I have no idea why…” he replied with a sigh.
“Well, look on the bright side, Todd.” TP laughed out loud, back to her old self again, “At least I drew the line at peeing on your leg!”

THE END

[Todd's Pet]

Ciannwn, I'll email this and the previous one (about TP's garden) sometime tonight/tomorrow.