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    The Wraith War

    February 17, 2014
    The Lady In red; Part 9...b


    Spoiler:
    The unchanging beep of the heart rate monitor was shortly overruled by the sounds of hustle and bustle of the hallway as McKay opened the door, and then faded back as it slid shut with a whoosh.
    Keller lay on the low bed, hooked up to the hastily set up monitors in the alien surrounding of someone else’s quarters, a white bandage wrapped around her head.
    “Oh man…” Rodney quietly sat on the edge of the bed. “I shouldn’t be standing here now, this ought to be the other way round.”
    “McKay, where are you? I need some help with the artificial gravity system.”
    “Well of course you do.” He taped his earpiece to enter. “I’ll be right there.”
    He looked down at Jennifer’s face one more time frowning with worry but stood up. As the doors closed behind him his face lit up and he snapped his fingers as something hit him. “Jeanie’s quarters are around here.” He whispered.

    Walking down the corridor he checked the numbers on the apartment doors. 1403, 1405, 1407, 1409…The door a few meters away was open and light from the inside spilled out into the hallway. 1411, 1413- 1415. McKay stopped in the doorway to the open room, his face and upper chest lit up in turquoise light. As he stepped inside the caught the smell, it smelled… like blood. He hurried forward into the next room apprehensive- and straight into hell. He recoiled backwards, sleeve flying to his nose to cover the smell, blood covered the floor, the bottoms of cardboards boxes had taken on it’s colour, and where the wall should have been, he could see the next apartment., and the one after that, and the one after that. McKay staggered about and fell down against the wall, looking back the saw what he’d tripped over- a body bag- two body bags. “Oh no…” The whisper came out hoarse. “Nonnononon-no.” He Reached out and took the zipper on the bag nearest to him, then close his eyes and pulled, using his sleeve to once again cover the smell, and peaked- then promptly wiped his head to the side and retched.
    Thee was no head- just… a horrific tangle of bone and flesh at the neck. He puked again, wiping his mouth with the edge of his sleeve, his face and hands pale as paper, he took the zipper one more time, taking three tried to grab with his shaking hands, and pulled it lower. It’
    “It’s her shirt, she wore the same thing when I saw her today.” He let the zipper go and collapsed backwards against the wall. “It’s her….” Tears streamed down his face/ “It’s her….” And then it hit him “Two body bags… two…”

    The soft beeping of the monitoring equipment formed a white noise as the surgeons worked around the table. “Ok, I’m cutting the optic nerve now.” He looked up at the monitors for any change, then satisfied went back to work. “ Alright, removing the left eye.” He lifted the dead organ out with a sucking noise. “That’s one crappy souvenir.” He said putting it down with bloodies gloves on the tray offered by a nurse. The eye hits it with a chink, and we see the large piece of debris lodged firmly in it, splitting the iris in half. “left eye extraction due to irreparable penetration damage by unidentified object in patient number one-five, last name: Miller Madison, successful. Let’s clean up.”
    Last edited by Crazy Tom; 24 December 2008, 09:34 AM.

    Comment


      *braces for hater mail*

      Comment


        who was that patient.

        and what the hell were you thinking?

        "im gonna kill them, so lets do it the most gory way i can think of?"

        wow.

        anyway, its a good story.

        im currently writing a battle in transcript style.

        placeholder name:

        Spoiler:
        Battle for the superhive


        and i think i have a new favorite character:

        Neil young
        30's
        ATA gene: Yes
        natural soldier, good at flying.
        age during Exodus: 16
        joined military at 18
        gamer, prefers FPS and RTS.
        to the point like oneill, well trained ATA gene user, computer generation, so he's no nerd, but certainly not a guy who follows the sheppard book of computer repair.
        hobbies: being at the shooting range, flying F-302's, jumpers, killing wraith.

        Comment


          Not exactly. I was going more for the shock effect.

          Oh dear.... Superhive? As in Todd's superhive?

          And change his last name to something more original.

          edit: was it really that bad? because it's just suposed to shock, not.. gorify.
          Last edited by Crazy Tom; 24 December 2008, 09:47 AM.

          Comment


            i took it from everett young, you know, SGU? along with stasiak, and jared nash

            Comment


              Originally posted by thekillman View Post
              i took it from everett young, you know, SGU? along with stasiak, and jared nash
              Just use the character from SGU. I plan to.

              And,

              was it really that bad? because it's just suposed to shock, not.. gorify.

              Comment


                it was a shock, yes, and it was gory. but it wasnt bad.


                but who was that at the end of the story?

                also, im torn. should i use 1 ZPM for a shielded superhive, or 3?

                Comment


                  Originally posted by thekillman View Post
                  it was a shock, yes, and it was gory. but it wasnt bad.


                  but who was that at the end of the story?

                  also, im torn. should i use 1 ZPM for a shielded superhive, or 3?
                  Did the gore distract, or add to the shock? And I've edited in the name.

                  None! As I've said, Renette doesn't aloow anyone to get ZPMs exept herself.

                  Comment


                    None! As I've said, Renette doesn't aloow anyone to get ZPMs exept herself.
                    changing history means changing the future. he may never have gotten them in the past, cause he was wiped out early, or perhaps an ally of us, or whatever. but now, i want to give him atleast one.

                    Comment


                      Originally posted by thekillman View Post
                      changing history means changing the future. he may never have gotten them in the past, cause he was wiped out early, or perhaps an ally of us, or whatever. but now, i want to give him atleast one.
                      One, but I want beta to make usre it don't screw stuff up.

                      Comment


                        its main purpose is to strenghten his position, create bargain, function as his "god" ship, and to put a swift end to michael. michael is hard to find and can escape easily, so a fast and powerfull ship is usefull. but anyway, what do YOU intend to do with ZPM's for renette?

                        Comment


                          Originally posted by thekillman View Post
                          its main purpose is to strenghten his position, create bargain, function as his "god" ship, and to put a swift end to michael. michael is hard to find and can escape easily, so a fast and powerfull ship is usefull. but anyway, what do YOU intend to do with ZPM's for renette?
                          That is Beyond Top Secret.

                          In any case, I still want beta.

                          Comment


                            ill see what i can do.

                            EDIT

                            OK you should recieve an e-mail containing the first, finished part. buisy on the whole

                            "can i gather a fleet and just blow it out of the sky?"

                            thing

                            Comment


                              good story Tom

                              Comment


                                Originally posted by thekillman View Post
                                ill see what i can do.

                                EDIT

                                OK you should recieve an e-mail containing the first, finished part. buisy on the whole

                                "can i gather a fleet and just blow it out of the sky?"

                                thing
                                I'll check it out.

                                Originally posted by ha´tak View Post
                                good story Tom
                                Aww **** dudes, can't a poor sod get some real feedback. At this point I'll even settle for hater mail.

                                *chews a cigar* Merry fraking christmas. *hysterical laughter as he punches in the codes for the kinetic harpoons*

                                Comment

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