Oh My God, They Killed Daniel!

[OutThere]

: Are you two still at it?
: Yep.
: Yep.
: Were we not going out to share in a meal?
: This will be the tie-breaker.
: Just a few more minutes....
: If you keep shooting Daniel every time he comes back we'll never get out of here! And I don't have any money to pay for lunch!
:Then let us leave these two to their game, Vala. I know a good establishment where I can treat you to seared animal flesh and fermented fruit drink.
: Allright then! Let's go.
: Hey- what--?
(getting to his feet): So, what'd I miss?--
**BLAM!**
: Woohoo! I killed Daniel!
: You b*st*rd!

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

Daniel: (stumbling into the comissionary) ... Coffeeee...
Sam: (follows) Need... Caffeine...
(Alas, Ba'al is standing in the commissionary, his clones manning the kitchen)
Daniel and Sam: What the...?
Ba'al: Hahahahahahaaa! Bow before me, pitiful Tau'ri! Without your precious coffee, you are helpless! (holds up a bag of decaff) All you have is this! And there is nothing you can do to stop me! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!
Daniel and Sam: ... (calmly walk out the door)
Ba'al: Eh?
Daniel and Sam: (walk back in... Armed to the teeth. They open fire and slaughter the Ba'als)
Ba'als: AAAUUUUUUGHHH! NOOOO!
Daniel: Nobody... Messes... With... Our... Coffee!
Sam: B*tches!
(They stop firing... Only to see that in their rage, they destroyed the coffee machine)
Sam: Oh my God, Daniel! We killed Mr. Coffee!
Daniel: We killed Mr Coffee?
Sam: Yes! (sobs) We did!
Daniel: (sniffle) We're such b*stards...

[IrishPisano]

: Are you two still at it?
: Yep.
: Yep.
: Were we not going out to share in a meal?
: This will be the tie-breaker.
: Just a few more minutes....
VALA: If you keep shooting Daniel every time he comes back we'll never get out of here! And I don't have any money to pay for lunch!
TEALC :Then let us leave these two to their game, Vala. I know a good establishment where I can treat you to seared animal flesh and fermented fruit drink.
VALA : Allright then! Let's go.
SAM : Hey- what--?
DANIEL (getting to his feet): So, what'd I miss?--
**BLAM!**
MITCHELL : Woohoo! I killed Daniel!
SAM: You b*st*rd!

<<descends>>wait wait wait wait wait
what?
i can't keep ascending and descendind... oma's gettin pissed off
so?
plus i feel kind of... bothered... that you two are using me for a game...
we're sorry <<both look genuinely upset>>
oh what the hell... 321 go!
<<bludgeon's daniel repeatedly with a chair>>
that was harsh...
no one toys with my emotions when it comes to killing...
you ba***rd

[susanne]

: goodnight everyone
: *s******ing* night dan
: *giggling* goodnight
*daniel walks off*
: what were you s******ing at?!
:we let howiein and i put a load of corn in dans bed
*screaming*
hahahaha
hehehehe
: ill just go check on him
: indeed
*comes screaming round the hallway* HOWIE KILLED DANIEL AGAIN!
: that b*serd!
*everyone looks at teal'c*
: well no one else was gonna say it
: well another day another kill daniel prank

[Elles]

SG-1: It's Lunch time! RUN!
*SG-1 tramples Daniel*
Sam: Oh my God, Sir! We killed Daniel!
Cameron: No! Leave him... they're serving roast beef today!

[susanne]

lol i loved that!!!!! greenies for you!

[Elles]

I actually did once fall down the stairs at school due to the lunch time rush. They were serving Straw Hats that day so no one stopped to help. Hurt like heck...

[susanne]

: daniel jackson what are you doing?!
:im gonna prove once and for all that i can die and wont come back ok guys do it
*shoots daniel*
: oh my god we killed daniel.....
: us b*s*ards
*silently waits*
: well he proved us wrong
*descends* told you
*shoots him again*
: oh my god cam killed daniel AGAIN!
you b*s*ard.....uh why?!
: because he's a smug little
: back
: *shoots him again*
: ok this is rediculous
your telling me
die you b*s*ard *shoots him again

[Commander Jumper]

Janet: i've got good news and bad news
: what's the bad news?
Janet: Daniel is dead.
: so?
Janet: good point.
: good news?
Janet:Well, Daniel will never die as long as the series is going on......

[Lilith]

Janet: i've got good news and bad news
: what's the bad news?
Janet: Daniel is dead.
: so?
Janet: good point.
: good news?
Janet:Well, Daniel will never die as long as the series is going on......

: hey guys! what are we talking about?
: You're soo annoying!! *stabs Daniel with a scapel*
Janet: Oh my God!! You killed Daniel.
:teal'c:: yea...?
Janet: Oh nevermind!

[Commander Jumper]

: hey guys! what are we talking about?
: You're soo annoying!! *stabs Daniel with a scapel*
Janet: Oh my God!! You killed Daniel.
:teal'c:: yea...?
Janet: Oh nevermind!

: wow you know what this means *pulling scalpel out of chest* I can do anything.

*jumps from plain w/o parachute. Dies*

: Oh my God that plane killed Daniel

*rises from dead* *Jumps in front of truck*

: oh my God.... that truck killed Daniel

*jumps of building*

: oh my God that building killed Daniel

*plays with a lion* *Dies*

: oh my God that....oh Screw it

: is it me Sir, or is Daniel enjoying this alittle too much
: I noticed that.
: should we stop him *looks at Daniel who's rubbing chum all over his body and about to jump in shark tank*
: in a minute.....

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

Jack: Okay Daniel... This has gone far enough.
Daniel: What do you mean?
Teal'c: We believe you have a problem, Daniel Jackson.
Daniel: What? A problem? I don't have a problem!
Sam: Daniel, you've killed yourself and come back over five hundred times now...
Daniel: ... Yeah?
Vala: In the last five days.
Daniel: What? Hey! C'mon guys, I can stop killing myself and coming back any time I want! I just don't want to, that's all.
Jack: Daniel... Am I going to have to hug you to keep you from doing this?
Daniel: No Jack! God! Look, just because I can come back from the dead, without problems like being a zombie or something, doesn't mean I enjoy it!
Vala: Daniel? You had sex with me and Sam until you died of dehydration.
Daniel: ... Didn't you enjoy that?
Sam: HELL YES! But you shouldn't do that to yourself... Or us. We're not necrophilliacs, Daniel.
Vala: Yeah! I don't sleep with dead bodies... Unless I'm hiding out from other graverobbers...
Jack: Okay, that I could have gone without knowing... Along with the sex with Carter and Vala at the same time part.
Daniel: Er, sorry Jack... You two are still in the military...
Jack: Damnit... (shoots Daniel twice with a zat)
Daniel: (dies)
Sam: Oh my god, he killed Daniel!
Vala: You b*st*rd!
Cameron: You're just encouraging him, sir!
Jack: Look, we'll hold another intervention when I'm feeling less inclined to kill him myself, okay?

[Lilith]

: wow you know what this means *pulling scalpel out of chest* I can do anything.

*jumps from plain w/o parachute. Dies*

: Oh my God that plane killed Daniel

*rises from dead* *Jumps in front of truck*

: oh my God.... that truck killed Daniel

*jumps of building*

: oh my God that building killed Daniel

*plays with a lion* *Dies*

: oh my God that....oh Screw it

: is it me Sir, or is Daniel enjoying this alittle too much
: I noticed that.
: should we stop him *looks at Daniel who's rubbing chum all over his body and about to jump in shark tank*
: in a minute.....

roflmaato!! i think we're enjoying this waay to much commander....

: Where'd all the Wraith go?
: The SGC found a permanent food source for them and now they no longer need to cull us or find earth.
: What could possibly satisfy soo many Wraith?
: Daniel clones.
: And how exactly does that work?
: Every Wraith gets his own Daniel. Since everytime Daniel dies, he just ascends then descends, thye can eat him over and over again until the universe implodes, explodes, or they become extinct.... whichever happens first....

[Commander Jumper]

roflmaato!! i think we're enjoying this waay to much commander....

: Where'd all the Wraith go?
: The SGC found a permanent food source for them and now they no longer need to cull us or find earth.
: What could possibly satisfy soo many Wraith?
: Daniel clones.
: And how exactly does that work?
: Every Wraith gets his own Daniel. Since everytime Daniel dies, he just ascends then descends, thye can eat him over and over again until the universe implodes, explodes, or they become extinct.... whichever happens first....

I think so too....but it's addictive

: ohhh Daniel....I got a hamster...his name is Howie
: *dies of fear*
: oh my god!!! Daniel chikenness killed him
: his B****** emotional state

[susanne]

hahahaha i love that!
daniel: do do do do * walking around naked*
mitchell: daniel?! i didnt figure you for the nudist type...
daniel: well dr frasier says it helps to bring blood pressure down
sam: OMG! *shoots daniel*
vala: omg! she killed daniel! you b*tch
mitchell: uhhh why?!
sam: cos that soab is gonna give me nightmares for weeks!
vala: me too hun me too...