things you would not want to hear on the SGC's intercom

[Pharaoh Atem]

Daniel: Jack, we have a slight problem. There's a whord of hott, sexy women with no inhibitions who want to jump us at every turn trying to break into the Mountain.
Jack: So, what's wrong with that?
Daniel: Sam's making her way up there with an arsenal of weapons and an intent to kill them all.
*klaxons start ringing*
Jack: Let Opperation Take Down Carter Commense!!

nice

[TechnoWraith]

Hammond: Open the iris.
Walter: Yes sir. Opening iris.

**At that, the iris prop falls out of the gate.**

Walter: Ummmmm... SG-1, we seem to be having a technical difficulty the iris...

[dancer_4_daniel]

Sam: Get me my jello or somebody's going to meet the "Spork of Doom"!

[Smo]

Vala: frell! frell! frell!
Mitchell: shut up you tralk! they're goin' to notice...

[2ndgenerationalteran]

Landry: due to recent cutbacks on fundings we will be playing commercials through the intercom to make back the funds we have lost. *hangs up*
Comercial :Have you started to think about life insurance today? the average funeral costs over........

[penguininablender]

Landry: due to recent cutbacks on fundings we will be playing commercials through the intercom to make back the funds we have lost. *hangs up*
Comercial :Have you started to think about life insurance today? the average funeral costs over........

ROFL
i have another commercial

Commercial: lost? Confused? well your Ori friends have the book for you. Call now and we will send you the book of origin absolutely free...

[Seeker_Scout]

Due to budget restraints, we will be cutting several insurance policies. Luckily, the Tokra have offered us several symbiotes for use. The following people are being volunteered...

[2ndgenerationalteran]

dr feldger is still looking for volunteers for his new radical brain transplant procedure. if no one is willing to volunteer i will choose people personaly!

[penguininablender]

Danielr. Lee has made a new suit of armour that he believes will keep the wearer secure from ori powers. The following people are being ordered to go to holding cell 10 where an ori is being held for trial runs of the armor. Vala...*pause*that is all for now.

[BruTak]

Commercials eh?

"Come on down to Master Bra'Tac's Chulak Fried Goa'uld! Today's special: Symbiote in a bun, Apophis sized fires and a large Tok'ra Cola, all for only $3.99"

[penguininablender]

Commercials eh?

"Come on down to Master Bra'Tac's Chulak Fried Goa'uld! Today's special: Symbiote in a bun, Apophis sized fires and a large Tok'ra Cola, all for only $3.99"

lol, and try our new Prim'tah kids meal that comes with a super Jaffa action figure

[BruTak]

"General Landry? There's an Earl Hickey here to see you. He said something about a list?"

Spoiler:

For the benefit of those who don't get the gag, Beau Bridges plays Earl Hickey's dad in the sitcom "My Name Is Earl".

[2ndgenerationalteran]

Commercials eh?

"Come on down to Master Bra'Tac's Chulak Fried Goa'uld! Today's special: Symbiote in a bun, Apophis sized fires and a large Tok'ra Cola, all for only $3.99"

im willing to try the symbiot in a bun!

[President Borusa]

(1) Landry: Hallowed are the Ori. April Fools!

(2) Teal'c: The shol'va who parked his death glider in my parking space will move immediately, or he will feel my wrath, indeed!

(3) Ba'al: Dude, where's my hatak?

[Lilith]

(1) Landry: Hallowed are the Ori. April Fools!

(2) Teal'c: The shol'va who parked his death glider in my parking space will move immediately, or he will feel my wrath, indeed!

(3) Ba'al: Dude, where's my hatak?