things you would not want to hear on the SGC's intercom

[Trek_Girl42]

Red alert!

[2ndgenerationalteran]

felger: what do these red buttons do?

[dancer_4_daniel]

Walter: Thor won the mud wrestle but Hermoid wants a rematch. We need more mud!

[Elles]

Hammond: The Goa'uld System Lord, Barney, has risen to power and is threatening to destroy Earth unless we watch his TV show on PBS daily.

[Lilith]

"Col. Carter report to the commisary, Col. Carter report to the commisary. SG-12 is being attacked by mutant blue jello."

[dancer_4_daniel]

Walter: There goes our whipped cream...

[Sam fisher]

Hammond: I have bad news and good news. The bad news is that the self-destruct is going to go off in 5 minutes. The good news is that I just saved a ton of money by switching to Geico.

(Someone else might have said something like that, I don't remember, sorry if so)

[Naonak]

Teal'c: The hills are alive, with the sound of music...!

[Lokii]

Hammond: I am leaving the SGC to work on Senator Kinsey's presidential election campaign

[Pharaoh Atem]

this is general O'Neill who ever stole my hidden stash beef had better return it or the SGC is going to have it first open hunting season

[Unorthodox]

General Landry on Intercom - "This is General Landry to all personell. Would somebody from the clothing department please bring Teal'c some pants? It seems that someone *eyes Daniel* has been pulling pranks, and they need to stop!"

Teal'c (to Dandiel) - "Those pants seem too large for you." *narrows eyes* "Are those mine, Daniel Jackson!?"

[Lilith]

O'Neill: Whoever painted Carter's lab pink, please report to the briefing room before Carter tracks you down. We would like to award you the Purple Heart for courage beyond what we thought possible. Then I suggest you run like hell, because she will show you no mercy.

[Trek_Girl42]

Attention: Harry Maybourne is back and taking command of the SGC. The first order of business: Guango will now be served with jello in the commisary.

[penguininablender]

Landry: Attention all personel, if col. carter runs by you, do not get in her way. It seems that the cafeteria has run out of blue jello and she has gone on a bloody and violent rampage until someone gets her blue jello fix for her. She is going through jello withdrawls and is VERY, VERY angry

[aacid]

Two shots ring out

Teal'c : O'Neill, I do not believe that is how you disable the intercom.