things you would not want to hear on the SGC's intercom

[EvilSpaceAlien]

Walter, stay the hell out of my Hannah Montana scrap book!!!
You have a Hannah Montana scrap book????
Yeah. What's wrong with that??
Nothing.... *vomits*

[Mimzy]

Voice: NOOO! NOT THE GUMDROP BUTTONS!!!

[HAL2100]

me: hammond why do you keep coming back from the dead?

Hammond: I am one mean rotting corpse mother of a zombie. The next person that questions my authority or current state of existence will be joining my legions of zombies as a bugle boy zombie. Any questions? I didn't think so.

[Gem of Tigress]

Everyone on base: no, no more questions.

* they all sneak away*

[GSRgategirl923]

Walter:We're all gonna die!!
We are not now shut up or I'm going to hog tie you and throw you into the supply closet.

Voice: NOOO! NOT THE GUMDROP BUTTONS!!!

[HAL2100]

[QUOTE=GSRgategirl923;10888667]Walter:We're all gonna die!!
We are not now shut up or I'm going to hog tie you and throw you into the supply closet.

Voice: Walter, you're going to die first.

[Gem of Tigress]

i come in and shoot Walter.

Me: Now where did Nicky go?
Jack: Why?
Me: he's got mail.
Jack: Who from?
Me: Helen.
Jack: Yeah, down that hall to the right.
Me: Thanks.
i give Nicky his mail.

Three minutes later, Helen comes in and takes Nicky back to the Sanctuary.

[Mimzy]

: NOOOO! PLEASE! DON'T TAKE ME BACK WHAT ABOUT SAMMY?!?!?! AAAAHHH *SCREAM*
: GIMME BACK MY NICKYPOO!!!!!!
Helen: NO! HE'S MINE!
*loud crashes and screams*

[GSRgategirl923]

*Both Sam & Helen are Unconscious*
Mimzy:Hey Nicky can you help me get something out of this closet..

[Mimzy]

*loud shrieks of rage from Helen & *

[Stargate Atlantis Girl]

McKay: What do you mean there's no blue jello left! I went out and found another ZMP so I could get here, and you mean to tell me that there's no blue jello left?!!!???!!!
Sam: Well we'd have to drive 5 miles to get it.
McKay: Yeah, you think I care! I just want my jello!
John whispers to Carson: has he been on the enzyme again?
Carson: Aye, I might have accidently injected a little enzyme in him instead of the pain killers I was suposed to give him.
John:That's what I thought, otherwise he wouldn't be yelling at Sam.
Carson:The drug should be wearing off any minute now.."
McKay: Wha..what am I doing here? Oh, Sam, Hi, what have you been up to lately?
Sam:

[akren]

McKay: What do you mean there's no blue jello left! I went out and found another ZMP so I could get here, and you mean to tell me that there's no blue jello left?!!!???!!!
Sam: Well we'd have to drive 5 miles to get it.
McKay: Yeah, you think I care! I just want my jello!
John whispers to Carson: has he been on the enzyme again?
Carson: Aye, I might have accidently injected a little enzyme in him instead of the pain killers I was suposed to give him.
John:That's what I thought, otherwise he wouldn't be yelling at Sam.
Carson:The drug should be wearing off any minute now.."
McKay: Wha..what am I doing here? Oh, Sam, Hi, what have you been up to lately?
Sam:

[timstro59]

*random meowing*
wheres that coming from.
its that cat over there *points at cat*
me: its Garfield.
jon: *walks in* there you are, its time to go home *he walks out with Garfield*
me: isn't this supposed to be a high security base, how do these people keep getting in here?
come to think of it. how did you get in here?
me: uhh......bye *disapperates*
druitt: he can do it too!?!?!?!

[HAL2100]

Santa Clause: Ho! Ho! Ho! All hail the Ori! Hallowed are the Ori! Merrrrrrrryyyyy Christmas!

[Gem of Tigress]

*Will comes in and grabs Nicky*

Will: Come on Buddy, i have a nice place for you.

i help get Nicky back to the Sanctuary.

Me: Job well done.

* high fives Will*