Things they would never ever ever say

[Cherriey]

Dr. Weir: Agh! A mosquito bite! Quick, someone suck out the poison!

[Commander Jumper]

Dr. Weir: Agh! A mosquito bite! Quick, someone suck out the poison!

: John hurry hurry
: Sorry but today....I've decided that I would do no Kirk like act....until I am properly married.....

[Promethius30]

follow me and i will give you teach you anything
even how to have sex
yes, muwhahahahha
we can teach you that thor
I think iam going to go with the ori
we need the companey in bed

[Zatnikitelman]

Caldwell: Ah heck with this, you command today.
McKay: BRING ON THE BIG GUNS!
Wraith: My hand hurts, I'm not that hungry any ways.

[Commander Jumper]

:whoa!!!!
: what???
: I love that sweater. Where'dya get it???
: it's called ascension wear...gaurenteed to take your life to a whole new plain of existsence...or your money back.
: Sweeeeeet!!!

[andromeda_fate]

Okay, so I thought up some more to this conversation so I'm reposting it. I hope no one minds!

Sheppard? I just wanted to say that last night was wonderful!

What are you talking about?

Um... Elizabeth? That was me.

Damn!

Ah, acutally Rodney.... that was me.

Damn!

Then who did I....?

(giggles shyly and wiggles fingers at Dr. Weir)

Thats it! No more Athosian moonshine for me!

[Cherriey]

Teyla: I've decided to turn to the illustrious career of bank robbery.

[starfox]

Sheppard: You can't do that; it's against regulations.

[Cherriey]

Teyla: Since when have I cared about regulations?

[Elles]

Sheppard: You still can't become a bank robber, remember? You're a Mary/Sue!
Teyla: How dare you!
Sheppard: How dare I...
Teyla: No! I'm not a Mary/Sue! No! Noooooooo!

[Daryl Froggy]

Nox: We must have the blood of our enemies flowing like a river through the forests of their homeworld!

[Admiral Mappalazarou]

I am Hammond of Texas - It's a pleasure to meet you.
Err...thanks....sweetheart?
I have a demonic chicken, his name is Fred
I like my Oaties
I like your Oaties
Rodney, my hair's on fire
Yes. Yes it is. Well done.
I wonder what ever happened to the Acshen.
I have magical powers.
Ford has magical powers.
I love my lamp.
I love my lamb.
I love my chicken.
Who? oh - Fred?
Yes, Fred.
Of course.

[penguininablender]

I have magical powers.
.

but he does have magical powers ( the power to make women's hearts flutter at the sight of him )

[Admiral Mappalazarou]

Hey Teal'c
Sup G?
Well, Hammond ordered me to fix the quantum bobulator and...
Colonel! Fix the Quantum Bobulator!
See!
That's bad news, bruvva.
I know, hey do you know where Daniel is?
Dunno, bro, disappeared earlier today with dat wild cat; blondie bear.

Elsewhere in SGC
Hey baby, we can go on this way as far as I'm concerned - we can go on like this forever.
I want you inside me.
I was talkin to Vala.
Ha! Teal'c called Carter 'Blondie Bear'

[AmberLM]

(to Sam) "Could you be any *less* attractive if you tried?!?

"Hey, babe, how you doin'?"
"Sorry Sir I forgot to tell you, I'm moving in with Thor!"
"WHAT!?! Come on, Carter, you can't be serious?!?"
"I can assure you, O'Neill, Colonel Carter is quite serious. We intend to move to the Pegasus Galaxy and raise an army of our clones."
"Mmmm... multiple Sams...hey, wait! Why you little-"
*Sounds of Thor choking*