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**LT. COL. John Sheppard** · 20 April 2012, 05:32 AM

Originally posted by Choo1701 View Post

http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f57/Choo1701/Sample%20Pages/Frenchmen.jpg

i watched the later seasons

**fems** · 20 April 2012, 05:37 AM

Originally posted by Choo1701 View Post

Well my first thought was *grasps fem's by the shoulder* DON'T READ THE DAILY MAIL!!!

- and then I didn't read the article, so I really havn't got much to discuss on the matter ... *cough*

Don't worry, I actually read proper news sites too. Just read the DM for laughs

**LT. COL. John Sheppard** · 20 April 2012, 05:39 AM

some more of the Rush POV fic please remember it's my first fic so please don't judge

Spoiler:

**fems** · 20 April 2012, 05:44 AM

Originally posted by LT. COL. John Sheppard View Post

some more of the Rush POV fic please remember it's my first fic so please don't judge

Spoiler:

I'm confused. Is this supposed to be in script style or not? Because the name thing is script-like but the rest seems 'normal'.

**LT. COL. John Sheppard** · 20 April 2012, 05:47 AM

some parts are from Rush's POV the other is meant to be script yes

**fems** · 20 April 2012, 05:51 AM

So you're mixing styles? I'm not sure how popular script fanfics are because I don't read them since it's an acquired taste (IMO) but I do know that most people who read 'normal' style fics tend not to read script versions. So to be honest, I don't know how mixing the two will be received; normal style folks probably won't like the script dialogue and script lovers probably won't like Rush's PoV.

If I were you, I'd stick to one style, but of course that's purely based on my experiences and personal preferences.

**LT. COL. John Sheppard** · 20 April 2012, 05:54 AM

thanks for the advice but as i said

please remember it's my first fic so please don't judge

**Whytewytch** · 20 April 2012, 06:08 AM

Originally posted by fems View Post

I came across this yesterday and was wondering what you all think about this (Twilight

) fanfic writer who basically changed the main characters' names (and probably occupations) of her fic/the movie and then published it as an original e-story. Apparently it's now a bestseller and she got snapped up by a publisher with a $5 million dollar contract and movie rights have also been sold...

I don't know the books (or the original fanfic) but from what I've seen of some of the reviews you either love it or hate it. The writing is apparently very mediocre at best and it seems the author uses a lot of repetition with some folks claiming she's got a rather limited vocabulary. Others think it's brilliant and even claim it's helped their own marriage.

The whole thing kinda made me wonder if something like this is a good or a bad thing for fanfiction's reputation. On one hand it's of course awesome for this woman to get snapped up by a publisher but on the other hand a lot of readers say she basically stole the characterization etc from the books/movie and that Meyer should sue her over copyright issues. Also, the poor writing probably won't help...

There's been a lot of buzz about this on my writing sites--some say "Great!" others say Meyer should sue. Many are offended that it's been called "Mommy Porn". Personally, I haven't read it, will not; not a Twilight fan. I suppose if enough elements are the same, Meyer could sue. If her writing is that poor, it will definitely not enhance the reputation of fan fiction. If she really has talent, then I'm happy for her; if she's a hack, I hope this blows over with minimal repercussions to the rest of us.

**fems** · 20 April 2012, 06:11 AM

Originally posted by LT. COL. John Sheppard View Post

thanks for the advice but as i said

I wasn't judging, I was offering advice. There's a huge difference between the two and it's important to realize that if you're going to put things like fanfiction online and get reviews etc.

Considering it's your first fic I thought it prudent to point out the mixing styles in case you hadn't realized how such a thing can affect readership or overall enjoyment.

**LT. COL. John Sheppard** · 20 April 2012, 06:17 AM

oh sorry the sometimes i get mixed up

**Whytewytch** · 20 April 2012, 06:36 AM

Originally posted by LT. COL. John Sheppard View Post

some more of the Rush POV fic please remember it's my first fic so please don't judge

Spoiler:

My opinion? Stick with one style. If you want to be on more intimate with your story, use either 1st (if you only want Rush's POV) or 3rd deep. I personally don't care for script style, but I do like plays (plays use more description IMHO). I would definitely suggest that you get a beta and listen to them. Not hitting on your writing--I tell EVERYONE to get and use a beta.

As to mixing styles, I've tried that before. I once wrote a story from three different POVs (same scene, over & over). Readers found it very confusing. When I changed it, people enjoyed it much more. It's your story, so you can do what you want, but bear in mind, if you get a lot of people saying that the style is difficult to read, then it probably is.

**LT. COL. John Sheppard** · 20 April 2012, 06:39 AM

thanks

**SF_and_Coffee** · 20 April 2012, 09:14 AM

I'll jump on the "don't mix styles" bandwagon here. If you want to write a script, write a script, but if you really want to get inside a character's head, write a normal story. You can write it in first-person if you want to stay in a single character's head the entire way through, but many readers don't really enjoy first-person stories, and there really aren't that many of them for that reason and because it's a difficult point-of-view (POV) in which to write. I'd recommend writing in either omniscient third-person (in which your narrator is not a character, and can hop into the heads of various characters at will to tell the reader what they're thinking) or in what Whytewytch calls "deep third" and I call either "limited third" or "tight third", in which you use your various characters as narrators, ideally having one main one do most of it. In this POV style, whoever is functioning as your narrator at the moment is the character whose thoughts, observations and feelings can be shared with the reader, and that character can only report what he or she sees or experiences, not anything going on inside the heads of others or happening where he or she can't observe. You can, however, switch from one character's POV to another's at a chapter break or a section break.

Many beginning writers start with writing in omniscient third, and then as they gain experience, they progress to writing in limited third. Most novels being written today are in limited third, though there are still some in omniscient and a few in first.

I will recommend to you this thread for a further and more helpful discussion of POV and the general mechanics of writing.

**Princess Awinita** · 20 April 2012, 12:30 PM

I read it, I like the look of it, and for a firs time writer, you show promise, this is very good indeed, however, mixing styles does tend to confuse readers at times unless they know whsat they're getting into in the first place. HOWEVER, You show promise as a writer and the story theme and setting elements are beautifully written up and detailed very well.

I'd recommend, since this is your first time, to go through it with advice from others and edit it where required or where you think it needs editing, or what is known as More Meat to set areas. We're all nice people here, but we give blunt advice and honesty. Personally I think you have a good career as a fanfic writer! keep it up LCJS!!!

**LT. COL. John Sheppard** · 20 April 2012, 04:02 PM

thanks for the advice ^&^^

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