Some Corner of a Foreign Field (SGA)

[neela]

New chapter 17!

See the first post for blurb and chapter cover.

[gatechick]

Sweet!! Just read it and it was good. Cannot wait to see what happens next.

[Womble]

That's some pretty awesome twists you threw in. Awesome writing, gritty and imaginative. Loved every line.

Obligatory nitpicks:

Spoiler:

1) A planet devastated by a hypernova would've had not just its surface but also its atmosphere affected. My understanding is that the initial particle bombardment would actually detonate an oxygen-rich atmosphere like a huge bomb (approximately a Hiroshima per square km of surface), and result in replacement of free oxygen with nitrogen dioxide. Your rescue crew would need space suits.

2) I would expect Xiaoyi to be particularly affected by the fact that the Sun Tzu crew were her countrymen, and we saw no indication of that.

3) Any victims of radioactive poisoning would need to be decontaminated before they could be treated, in order to prevent further contamination. Leaving a radiation poisoning victim in their original uniform/jumpsuit while being treated in the infirmary- even on life support- is simply not an option because they would poison everything around them. Their skin, open wounds, possibly even body orifices would require decontamination, so there's absolutely no way they'd be left clothed.

[neela]

Sorry it's taken me so long to respond to feedback!

Gatechick - Thanks! A lot more will happen. Next chapter marks a new arc, and we'll meet up with old acquaintances that have so far only been mentioned in the passing. Also, things are happening that may or may not affect Sam's little subterfuge plans.

Womble - Thanks! A story should have some nice twists, shouldn't they? For the rest of my reply, check below.

Spoiler:

1) Thanks for the technical feedback. I'll admit, I'm not an astronomer, theoretical physicist or space-savvy writer, so expect the chapter to undergo some revision. As far as I know, any number of reasons besides a hypernova could have turned M2X-914 into what it is, so the planet will probably stay the same.

2) Xiaoyi's affected as much as everybody else. It's just not very clear yet, or maybe not in a way people might expect. My reason behind her actions so far in SCOAFF is that her way to deal with the unexpected is to seek control in the familiar, namely politics. Hence the rather heavy politics parts in the last six chapters... From what we've seen of her in SGA canon it's been clear that politics is her arena. She moves in the shadows and strikes whoever's in the way to make sure she's got control. I'd say that also makes her a bit of a narcissist. Out of the three responses to a catastrophe (freeze, flight, fight), I'd imagine she's a kind of fighter. She's not obvious, though; she fights her own way, on her own turf, and with the tools and skills she knows, but it's all in the name of control. If anything, she wants to control her environment and everyone in it. That's also one of the reasons that she - along with Coolidge - pushed for Atlantis to isolate itself and "exile" the Pegasus natives they'd taken in. BTW, my intention has been to offset her character with Coolidge's, who has been the emotional and volatile of the two. That's why we haven't seen the obvious acting-out on her part. She's all about the work in the background, sneaking in to attack her prey when it least expects it.

Does it sound plausible?

3) In an early edition of the chapter, I wanted to set up a decontamination centre elsewhere in the city, but the scene was scrapped due to space (and it actually just worked as filler that didn't move the plot anywhere). However, I'm not sure I specified that the patients in the infirmary that Reese saw came in were radiation poison victims. There's an additional room used for those who suffered radiation poisoning, and let's face it, a crash would generate far more varied injuries than just those caused by radiation.

If it'll make it more clear, though, I'll see if I can't add a line or two about it when I revise the chapter.
Thanks again! I really appreciate feedback like this.

In the rest of the world:
If people enjoy post-apocalyptic SGA fan fiction with a John/Sam pairing, you could also check out this little oneshot, Your Eyes Turned Skywards at ff.net. (Shameless self-promoting)

[neela]

Update June 23, 2012

Chapter 18 - Is on its way, don't worry! It's on the back burner while I'm working on my Master's Thesis, but I'll get back on it once my vacation begins in a week. So expect a summer update.

Revisions - After reading through SCOAFF a number of times, I've come to the decision to revise some of the earlier chapters so that both style and content remain consistent. As such, I've gone through chapters 1-6 and 14-15 so far, with plans to also edit chapters 7-13 and 16-17. The already revised chapters have replaced the older versions on fanfiction.net per today. The others will follow as I complete them. To keep it clean and in order, I've added date of revision on each chapter so you'll be able to see which has been changed since you last read them.

I should probably mention that the first and last scene in chapter 14 (the flashback scenes) will probably be edited out of the chapter in the future, but they'll be found in a potential prequel I'm also working on that sets the premise for SCOAFF. For now, however, I've kept the flashback scenes, but I'll make a mention here on the thread when I've removed them.

That's all for now!

[gatechick]

Not to be a dodo brain, but will the prequel deal with exactly what has happened on earth or will you address that in the current story. Eagerly awaiting chapter 18 too!

[neela]

Not to be a dodo brain, but will the prequel deal with exactly what has happened on earth or will you address that in the current story.

Good question. Mostly, I'd planned to show an alternate season 5, but with focus on how Sam and John got together since many reviewers have wondered about that. However, the exact plot hasn't been decided yet, so whether or not I include stuff about Earth is still up for discussion.

Spoiler:

There are still some things that will be revealed in SCOAFF with the Sun Tzu's story as McKay cracks their computer logs, but a comprehensive story on what happened to Earth is probably not going to be found in SCOAFF. After all, as Sam said in chapter 17, they don't know everything. The things they do know are missing some vital pieces, such as who the aliens are (not someone they've encountered before). But - and this is a real spoiler, which is why I'm censoring it in case anyone don't want to know -

Spoiler:

I'm specifically dropping a few hints and facts in SCOAFF in case I get it into my head to write a sequel. That's if I don't die first from finishing SCOAFF... Anyway, a potential sequel would dig more deeply into the Earth question. In fact, the question of what happened to Earth would probably be the principal plot of that story. SCOAFF is more of a 'what happens when you lose practically everything and still have to fight off the meanest Wraith ship in history' question. Once the Wraith are dealt with, our characters can focus on the circumstances that landed them in their current situation, which is why SCOAFF will most likely lack answers to the most important questions - at the moment. If I figure out that a sequel's too troublesome, I'll find a way to include some further answers in SCOAFF.

So...annoyingly enough, I'm sure my answer's not that satisfying, but it's what I can give at the moment. What'd you think?

Eagerly awaiting chapter 18 too!

Me too!

[gatechick]

Good question. Mostly, I'd planned to show an alternate season 5, but with focus on how Sam and John got together since many reviewers have wondered about that. However, the exact plot hasn't been decided yet, so whether or not I include stuff about Earth is still up for discussion.

Spoiler:

There are still some things that will be revealed in SCOAFF with the Sun Tzu's story as McKay cracks their computer logs, but a comprehensive story on what happened to Earth is probably not going to be found in SCOAFF. After all, as Sam said in chapter 17, they don't know everything. The things they do know are missing some vital pieces, such as who the aliens are (not someone they've encountered before). But - and this is a real spoiler, which is why I'm censoring it in case anyone don't want to know -

Spoiler:

I'm specifically dropping a few hints and facts in SCOAFF in case I get it into my head to write a sequel. That's if I don't die first from finishing SCOAFF... Anyway, a potential sequel would dig more deeply into the Earth question. In fact, the question of what happened to Earth would probably be the principal plot of that story. SCOAFF is more of a 'what happens when you lose practically everything and still have to fight off the meanest Wraith ship in history' question. Once the Wraith are dealt with, our characters can focus on the circumstances that landed them in their current situation, which is why SCOAFF will most likely lack answers to the most important questions - at the moment. If I figure out that a sequel's too troublesome, I'll find a way to include some further answers in SCOAFF.

So...annoyingly enough, I'm sure my answer's not that satisfying, but it's what I can give at the moment. What'd you think?

Spoiler:

Just to be safe I will use spoiler tags. I think I like that idea. I think dealing with what happened on earth would make a great story. Based on your writing of SCOAFF, I can see you writing another enjoyable story that deals comprehensively with the earth saga. I know I would read it. And I I have to thank you for making it Sam/John. I love Sam/Jack stories, but I think Sam/John make an equally great couple and there is so little of their fic around besides you and a handful of other authors.

[neela]

Update July 2, 2012

Revision: Chapters 7-9 of SCOAFF have been revised and uploaded to fanfiction.net.

Spoiler:

Just to be safe I will use spoiler tags. I think I like that idea. I think dealing with what happened on earth would make a great story. Based on your writing of SCOAFF, I can see you writing another enjoyable story that deals comprehensively with the earth saga. I know I would read it. And I I have to thank you for making it Sam/John. I love Sam/Jack stories, but I think Sam/John make an equally great couple and there is so little of their fic around besides you and a handful of other authors.

Spoiler:

Thank you for the vote of confidence! I enjoy the occasional Sam/Jack story, but to be honest, I think it's been done to death in most cases. John/Sam is equally possible in terms of compatibility, which I why I'm so fond of the pairing. As for the Earth story, it's certainly at the back of my mind ATM, and I might actually be unable to keep away from it. However, I've got to finish SCOAFF first or the point of a sequel would kinda be lost... I'll keep you posted!

[Atif09]

who destroyed earth...

this story is aggravating but good

[neela]

Update September 5th, 2012

Next chapter: Expect chapter 18 to be up on ff.net this week. It has been sitting on my laptop for some time, but held back because I needed to make sure I had a clear picture in my mind of the next part of the story. Add RL and a persistent Master's Thesis with a deadline on November 1st, and that should account for my current and future lateness...

Future chapter: Chapter 19 is in the works and is mostly action-oriented, which is why it's taking me time to write. That and the fact that I've already completely re-written it three times... I hope to have time to work on it this coming month, but it might not be done until I'm done with my thesis.

Beta: BTW, if anyone feel the dire wish to beta read SCOAFF, just holler or send me a PM.

this story is aggravating but good

Thank you, Atif09!

[neela]

NEW CHAPTER: Chapter 18 is up!

Blurb: It is time to move on, to mourn, but it's hard when you feel alone.


REVISIONS: Changes have been made to chapter 17 based on Womble's earlier feedback.

Spoiler:

The hypernova idea for M2X-914 is scrapped, and mentions of decontamination have been added.

[Burns]

so glad to see it back

[Aragon101]

Still here, still reading, still awesome

[Womble]

Excellent writing, as usual. And only one minor nitpick:

Spoiler:

You probably meant meteors / meteoroids, not asteroids, in the opening paragraph. Asteroids are space bodies with a diameter from 10 meters upwards. A space rock with a diameter of 10 meters weights around 400 tons; at high velocity its impact into a planet produces a yield of 15 megatons, roughly equal to the fifth most powerful thermonuclear bomb ever detonated. I have no idea what it would do to a 304, but multiple impacts by 400 ton rocks at high velocity would do much more than mere holes in the hull.