The Martin WooHoodStock Thread

[starlover]

did my Spanish test...it sucked! *sigh* I should have learned some more!

*grumbles*

*sees Martin and chears up again*

EDIT: Nvm...my teacher is very fast..and I passed!

[Luvnjoe]

*runz nekkid through thread*

[josiane]

Bekki, just to throw my two cents in on your 'friend', count me as another one agreeing with everything everyone else has said. He's treating you badly (and sounds like he knows he is, deep down - I'm not sure whether that makes him more or less of a jerk ) and you deserve so much more. From the sensible outside perspective, he's calling all the shots and you need to sit him down and tell him he can't do that - a relationship is two-way and either he has to grow up and make the choice to have a proper relationship with you, or you need to be shot of him. However, that's all far easier for us to say than for you to do. I was in a similar situation a few years ago myself, and when you're in love it's so hard to do the right thing - there's a reason for the whole 'love is blind' cliche No matter what your rational brain tells you, or what any of us tell you, your judgement is clouded by your feelings, which is perfectly natural and normal, just not always helpful Just take care of yourself and remember we're all here for you if it all goes belly-up

*massive squishy hugs* I hate to think of some idiot boy treating you badly, sweetie I completely understand how you've got yourself in this situation, and it sounds like it's not all bad, so take the good from it and get out before you get any more hurt

And seriously, sex without kissing, ever? The insult aside (and I'm with the others on this too), that's like cake without icing An essential part of the experience is missing

[Regularamanda]

((((Bekki)))) You deserve a lot more than that *squishy hugs*

And I'm totally seconding the men are idiots thing.

Had a good friend come up to me and ask me if I had ever had sex, me being me I joked and she thought I was serious (),she had the exact same standards as I do, and I was shocked when she said that a few days before that she had had sex with this guy. Not because she loved him or anything but because the guy showed interest and she thought that she wasn't pretty (She is though ) and that she'd never get another chance. And she knew it was a mistake as well. It just really surprised me. And I know how I am and how guys never show interest and I promised myself that I wouldn't do that if a guy showed interest. I have this thing, and it's such a cliche but I don't want to be a bad "statistic"

There are days when I wonder if this "love" thing is ever really worth it. But then of course I hear LJ or Cags talk about their hubby's and then I think that maybe it is worth it

[Luvnjoe]

((((Bekki)))) You deserve a lot more than that *squishy hugs*

And I'm totally seconding the men are idiots thing.

Had a good friend come up to me and ask me if I had ever had sex, me being me I joked and she thought I was serious (),she had the exact same standards as I do, and I was shocked when she said that a few days before that she had had sex with this guy. Not because she loved him or anything but because the guy showed interest and she thought that she wasn't pretty (She is though ) and that she'd never get another chance. And she knew it was a mistake as well. It just really surprised me. And I know how I am and how guys never show interest and I promised myself that I wouldn't do that if a guy showed interest. I have this thing, and it's such a cliche but I don't want to be a bad "statistic"

There are days when I wonder if this "love" thing is ever really worth it. But then of course I hear LJ or Cags talk about their hubby's and then I think that maybe it is worth it

Awww! *hugs Amanda*

Okay, Bekki! I'll weigh in.

I think you are the proverbial frog in hot water. You know, the one you put in cold water and slowly turn up the heat until he boils to death? He didn't realized how bad off he is cuz he's in the water and slowly adapting to each level of Worse. Sweety, the water is starting to simmer and you need to JUMP OUT! You think it's "not that bad" because you're in the situation and have slowly gotten used to each worsening stage. And, yes, it's easier for me to sit here and type that than it will be for you to actually do it, but I think you'll be better off in the long run if you just kick this guy to the curb. You really want to be with a guy who "just doesn't get it"? Of course not. You want to be with a guy who gets you, understands you, and cares more for your emotional well-being than he does for his own physical gratification.

/rant

Er...hope that's not too harsh. I tend to defend my friends and loved ones like a Mama Bear, and since I'm not there to whack that guy, I have to voice my concerns with all my might. I do love you and am only worried about what's best for you. (((Bekki)))

[starlover]

Ok...since it's "ask the woohoos" day today...I need to ask this
How can I say in a nice way against my BF that he needs to back of coz I need space...atm he's EVERYWHERE...if I'm on my computer...talking...phone..trying to call me...school ...hanging around me...
I just *can't* do my own stuff without having him around me...and it's really annoying me to the point that I am freakin' annoyed with him(already)
I don't know how to start the conversation with him that I just don't want to go this quickly...I need time and space(coz of past trouble with intimacy; which he doesn't need to know yet)

So..please help me how I can tell this to him in a good way...

[josiane]

Oh *huggles* to you too Jann. Men are such pains, aren't they? I don't really know what to suggest other than you just bite the bullet and sit him down and talk to him. Just say kind of what you've said to us, that you're feeling a bit overwhelmed and it's not that you don't want to go there, it's just that you're feeling like he's rushing you. Does that make sense? Again it's so much easier for us to say this, when we're not the ones in the situation, but really, hard as it is to start the conversation, it's the only way

*huggles some more*

[Luvnjoe]

Oh *huggles* to you too Jann. Men are such pains, aren't they? I don't really know what to suggest other than you just bite the bullet and sit him down and talk to him. Just say kind of what you've said to us, that you're feeling a bit overwhelmed and it's not that you don't want to go there, it's just that you're feeling like he's rushing you. Does that make sense? Again it's so much easier for us to say this, when we're not the ones in the situation, but really, hard as it is to start the conversation, it's the only way

*huggles some more*

What Josi said. Don't say, "I need a break." Cuz that's a too much like breaking up.

[DutchIndeed]

*hugs Bekki and Jann*

I was going to reply, but I decided against it when I found that I'm really not the one you should listen to

I'm still not even thinking about starting a relationship again, all because my ex turned out to be wrong for me, and he never even used me like that. But for me, the situation slowly turned 'worse' too, but in a totally different way. It was more the opposite. My guy was slowly preparing me for marriage and kids and being the responsible wife who would clean up after him and iron his socks. When I took my distance, he followed me. When I told him (using clear language) that he was too much, he increased the talk of starting a family. Seriously, the times I heard ''...our children would....'' in the first few weeks we were dating... . In the end, he started to show up when I was babysitting and entered the house without my permission. In order to really brake up with him, I had to break off all contact.

Long story short, even now, after all that time, I still feel uneasy about it. It's funny how that works I'm still sooo glad that I got out when I did, but giving out advise... Not for me

[Cagranosalis]

What Josi said. Don't say, "I need a break." Cuz that's a too much like breaking up.

Yeah best not use those words.


You know, Jann, at the risk of it sounding like I'm saying lie to him (I'm not) maybe you can say that you miss spending time with your friends and that you're feeling a bit overwhelmed and pullled in lots of directions or you just need a girly night now and again, or you have lots of things you need to catch up on... and perhaps, now you're getting quite settled with each other, it's time to lay down some kind of routines - i.e. times you're definitely together, times you're defnitely both doing your own thing and times you're easy going. You can say that you think this is important for him as well as you to avoid getting to the point where you both end up resenting each other for not allowing the other time out with friends etc. That you want it to last so you need to ask this now to ensure it does.
I don't know, I guess it depends on how much time you spend together and how in your life he is when you're not actually together - texts and internet can be a bad thing sometimes.
Whatever you do you can make it extra special and be overly delighted when you see him next and say how much you've missed him so he is reassured that you're not having me time as a lead in to breaking it off.

Never really been in that position myself so I'm probably talkign a load of old cobblers.

[DutchIndeed]

...We're so girly.

[Jumble]

Aw WooHoos, let's not tar the entire male population with the same brush. There are some nice, sensitive, caring, understanding men out there. You just have to look really hard for them And then try hard not to let them slip through your fingers.

[Luvnjoe]

...We're so girly.

Viva la girliness!

And, yes, there are some wonderful men out there!

[DutchIndeed]

Aw WooHoos, let's not tar the entire male population with the same brush. There are some nice, sensitive, caring, understanding men out there. You just have to look really hard for them And then try hard not to let them slip through your fingers.

*nods*




...Like Coopie.

[Jumble]

*nods*

...Like Coopie.

You do realise it's his birthday soon?

October is going to be a busy month for us I think