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    *hugs LJ* Perhaps a stupid question, but since I have no idea how the adoption is going in the USA, and I have a very curious nature...could you explain it to me...because I never knew that the birthmother could always pick out all the couples...I thought it would go through an agency or so.
    Just ...curiousity...

    *hides in corner*

    Personal Yay, finally finished my "photo collage" on my wardrobe! All pictures on it now from when I was little to my last few vacations(got a special holder from my brother that I could use and change pictures all the time but needed to cut it in two pieces first and print/find the pictures)
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      Originally posted by starlover View Post
      *hugs LJ* Perhaps a stupid question, but since I have no idea how the adoption is going in the USA, and I have a very curious nature...could you explain it to me...because I never knew that the birthmother could always pick out all the couples...I thought it would go through an agency or so.
      Just ...curiousity...
      In the not-so-good old days, that was the case. You went on a waiting list. When your number came up, you got a kid. Not good for birthmothers. Now, even if you go through an agency, the birthmom chooses the family her baby will be with. Much better for them, and not as many changing their minds after the fact. With less than 1% of birthmoms placing their babies for adoption, you have to get out there and advocate for yourself, find birthmoms for yourself. We live in Montana. This birthmom is in South Carolina. We would never have contact with a birthmom that far away if we weren't networking and combing these stupid sites for birthmoms. UGH!

      EDIT: Looking at our stats on our agency's web page, our contact information has only been seen 12 times in the past 2.5 years. Unless you're willing to wait and wait and wait, you can't be on just one site.
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        Originally posted by luvnjack View Post
        In the not-so-good old days, that was the case. You went on a waiting list. When your number came up, you got a kid. Not good for birthmothers. Now, even if you go through an agency, the birthmom chooses the family her baby will be with. Much better for them, and not as many changing their minds after the fact. With less than 1% of birthmoms placing their babies for adoption, you have to get out there and advocate for yourself, find birthmoms for yourself. We live in Montana. This birthmom is in South Carolina. We would never have contact with a birthmom that far away if we weren't networking and combing these stupid sites for birthmoms. UGH!

        EDIT: Looking at our stats on our agency's web page, our contact information has only been seen 12 times in the past 2.5 years. Unless you're willing to wait and wait and wait, you can't be on just one site.
        *hugs* That....sucks...for the waiting people that is....and you do want a baby right? Since I *heard* that you can also get kids that are a bit older; do the same rules apply there?
        The only thing I've heard of is open adoption and is that comparible with this? because there in the end the birth mom can still choose to keep the kid if she wants right? Or am I totally wrong...

        I'm just curious about this because I hear many Dutch families that can't get children and find it so difficult to go through the adoption process in here that they go to the USA to find a child there...but from what I've heard from you it sounds even more difficult than in here(again from what I know; I never researched the topic....)

        *hugs again* I just don't get it. There are so many children in the world starving etc. why can't the adoption be a bit easier( I do understand the whole protection for the kid...but still )
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          Originally posted by josiane View Post
          Nad, I like your logic
          WooHoo Logic. It makes sense. *nods*

          Originally posted by luvnjack View Post
          Oh, the adoption drama! Birthmom chose another family, but other family said, "No, thanks." Now the forum is in chaos and Birthmom is, in her words, "Hiding under the bed."
          *sighs*

          EDIT: And *hugs* of course.
          Being original is difficult when you can't stop quoting your favorite tv show, For crying out loud!

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          Letters to TPTB - The Martin Wood Thread - WooHoodStock Guide -S.H.I.P. Website


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            Originally posted by starlover View Post
            *hugs* That....sucks...for the waiting people that is....and you do want a baby right? Since I *heard* that you can also get kids that are a bit older; do the same rules apply there?
            The only thing I've heard of is open adoption and is that comparible with this? because there in the end the birth mom can still choose to keep the kid if she wants right? Or am I totally wrong...

            I'm just curious about this because I hear many Dutch families that can't get children and find it so difficult to go through the adoption process in here that they go to the USA to find a child there...but from what I've heard from you it sounds even more difficult than in here(again from what I know; I never researched the topic....)

            *hugs again* I just don't get it. There are so many children in the world starving etc. why can't the adoption be a bit easier( I do understand the whole protection for the kid...but still )
            We actually have a couple from Holland on the forum. We can adopt older kids, but that is also very complicated. We filled out an application with the state a couple of months ago and still haven't heard back about...well...anything. And you have to take about 3 months' worth of classes (which is going to be super-hard to schedule my work around). And, you have to be willing to deal with the issues older kids will have. The adoption system (in my humble opinion) is totally corrupt. We have families paying $40,000 for a baby. WHAT?! That's human trafficking, is what that is. It's wrong, but condoned as long as the agency says it's for the adoption. We (adoptive families) end up paying this birthmom's entire living expenses for her pregnancy. We got bills for phone, gas, apartment rental, airfare to the state she gave birth, and every single time she sneezed at a doctor. We took out a second mortgage on our last house to afford all that with Lizzie. People shouldn't have to do that to have a family. It's. Just. Not. Right. There are exceptions, of course, but by and large, adoption in America has been warped from the wonderful, beautiful thing it was meant to be, into something ugly and nasty.

            *steps off soap box*

            Sorry. Guess I needed to get that off my chest...
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              Been enteraining myself or the last few minutes by making this and I'm posting it because it serves no further purpose...


              I have no mojo. My sigs are painted black.
              It's just meh when WooHoos feel bad en masse!
              Being original is difficult when you can't stop quoting your favorite tv show, For crying out loud!

              sigpic
              Letters to TPTB - The Martin Wood Thread - WooHoodStock Guide -S.H.I.P. Website


              Comment


                Originally posted by luvnjack View Post
                Oh, the adoption drama! Birthmom chose another family, but other family said, "No, thanks." Now the forum is in chaos and Birthmom is, in her words, "Hiding under the bed."
                That's because she chose the wrong family

                Why on earth wood the other family say no?

                Comment


                  Originally posted by luvnjack View Post
                  We actually have a couple from Holland on the forum. We can adopt older kids, but that is also very complicated. We filled out an application with the state a couple of months ago and still haven't heard back about...well...anything. And you have to take about 3 months' worth of classes (which is going to be super-hard to schedule my work around). And, you have to be willing to deal with the issues older kids will have. The adoption system (in my humble opinion) is totally corrupt. We have families paying $40,000 for a baby. WHAT?! That's human trafficking, is what that is. It's wrong, but condoned as long as the agency says it's for the adoption. We (adoptive families) end up paying this birthmom's entire living expenses for her pregnancy. We got bills for phone, gas, apartment rental, airfare to the state she gave birth, and every single time she sneezed at a doctor. We took out a second mortgage on our last house to afford all that with Lizzie. People shouldn't have to do that to have a family. It's. Just. Not. Right. There are exceptions, of course, but by and large, adoption in America has been warped from the wonderful, beautiful thing it was meant to be, into something ugly and nasty.

                  *steps off soap box*

                  Sorry. Guess I needed to get that off my chest...
                  That really IS wrong! It's so unfair that the ones suffering here, are the people who want to do good. I really dislike using this cliche statement in pretty much every situation, but this system sucks.
                  Being original is difficult when you can't stop quoting your favorite tv show, For crying out loud!

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                  Letters to TPTB - The Martin Wood Thread - WooHoodStock Guide -S.H.I.P. Website


                  Comment


                    *hugs* No prob, but that just sounds horrible; the best parents/aspiring parents should be chosen not the people with the biggest wallet! That's unfair...certainly if you see 16 year olds etc get babies and be very inept and can't care for a child, while two people who could take care of a child and would do anything for it can't get one!
                    *hugs again* I really hope you're getting a child! and hopefully from someone that is honest and just sees in that the baby should go to the best parents...not the richest ones!

                    and why do dog movies always make me cry *sobs* Marley and Me this time
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                      Originally posted by jumble View Post
                      That's because she chose the wrong family

                      Why on earth wood the other family say no?
                      Well, maybe the family is insightful and knows they're not the right family. Seriously, that's exactly what seems to be the case. Yep, she should've chosen my family! Then we'd all be doing a happy dance right now, LOL! There is a glimmer of hope. If she still wants to place for adoption. We'll see.
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                        Originally posted by DutchIndeed View Post
                        Been enteraining myself or the last few minutes by making this and I'm posting it because it serves no further purpose...


                        I have no mojo. My sigs are painted black.
                        It's just meh when WooHoos feel bad en masse!
                        But that's when we need your usual crazy colourful style

                        Me, I think I'm over my miserable/grumpy/pathetic phase

                        For those that don't know why I've been such a wet blanket lately, it's a year ago today that I met Michael down in Devon, and since I lost him last September to some *blanketyblank* drunken driver this anniversary has been looming on my horizon like a huge black cloud. And because of that I've been a bit........ er....... a lot quieter than usual

                        My self-pity was brought to an abrupt end this morning when I was asked to take in a couple of children who needed a place to stay while their Mum has a minor op. It's just for a couple of days, and they've been absolute angels. No time for dark clouds in this situation Time to give myself a good shake and put a smile on my face again

                        *huggles everyone for being patient with me*

                        Comment


                          Originally posted by Valerie_Jackson View Post
                          Here it is!
                          Wants.ep.NOW.

                          Originally posted by wine_buyer View Post
                          WOW! Vague much? Now I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, can't wait! When's it on? Whensitonwhensitonwhensiton? When?
                          *runz out breath..dies*


                          WooHoo logic rules!
                          *dances nekkid*

                          EDIT: Great minds Jumble
                          I second this!

                          Originally posted by luvnjack View Post
                          We actually have a couple from Holland on the forum. We can adopt older kids, but that is also very complicated. We filled out an application with the state a couple of months ago and still haven't heard back about...well...anything. And you have to take about 3 months' worth of classes (which is going to be super-hard to schedule my work around). And, you have to be willing to deal with the issues older kids will have. The adoption system (in my humble opinion) is totally corrupt. We have families paying $40,000 for a baby. WHAT?! That's human trafficking, is what that is. It's wrong, but condoned as long as the agency says it's for the adoption. We (adoptive families) end up paying this birthmom's entire living expenses for her pregnancy. We got bills for phone, gas, apartment rental, airfare to the state she gave birth, and every single time she sneezed at a doctor. We took out a second mortgage on our last house to afford all that with Lizzie. People shouldn't have to do that to have a family. It's. Just. Not. Right. There are exceptions, of course, but by and large, adoption in America has been warped from the wonderful, beautiful thing it was meant to be, into something ugly and nasty.

                          *steps off soap box*

                          Sorry. Guess I needed to get that off my chest...
                          (((((LJ)))) That's just so wrong and not right at all.

                          Originally posted by jumble View Post
                          That's because she chose the wrong family

                          Why on earth wood the other family say no?
                          That's exactly what I was thiniking.

                          Originally posted by luvnjack View Post
                          Well, maybe the family is insightful and knows they're not the right family. Seriously, that's exactly what seems to be the case. Yep, she should've chosen my family! Then we'd all be doing a happy dance right now, LOL! There is a glimmer of hope. If she still wants to place for adoption. We'll see.
                          There's always hope.

                          (((((Jumble)))) We're glad that you're feeling a bit better...but we're here for you either way.

                          My Fanfiction My Sam/Jack vids (yahoo) My LJ
                          Thanks everyone for my b-day icons and sigs!
                          Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. ~Eleanor Roosevelt

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                            (((((Jumble))))) Good to hear you're feeling a bit better now
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                              Oh jumble, we'd even put up with you if you turned to Coopie and started a Ship War...
                              There's love here!

                              *hugs*
                              I'm glad the kids helped you through this day
                              Being original is difficult when you can't stop quoting your favorite tv show, For crying out loud!

                              sigpic
                              Letters to TPTB - The Martin Wood Thread - WooHoodStock Guide -S.H.I.P. Website


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                                Originally posted by DutchIndeed View Post
                                Oh jumble, we'd even put up with you if you turned to Coopie and started a Ship War...
                                There's love here!
                                *tries to imagine the enormity of a crisis that wood make that happen*

                                Nope. Can't think of one

                                *hugs*
                                I'm glad the kids helped you through this day
                                They did Seems there's always a safety net out there for me, whatever strange guise it comes in

                                *hugs back*

                                Edit: And I've just realised if I'm going to be up early enough to get them to school in the morning I really should go to bed

                                WoodNight WooHoos
                                Last edited by Jumble; 25 February 2010, 03:56 PM. Reason: Looked at the clock :rolleyes:

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