GABIT attendees thread

[NZNeep]

What I don't get is how Londoners can leave their coats on in the tube. They put their coat on when they leave, fair enough it's cold outside. Then they sit on the sweltering train wearing coats, and scarves... Too polite to elbow everyone while they strip down, clearly.

[starsong101]

What I don't get is how Londoners can leave their coats on in the tube. They put their coat on when they leave, fair enough it's cold outside. Then they sit on the sweltering train wearing coats, and scarves... Too polite to elbow everyone while they strip down, clearly.

You know Neep they probably keep their coats on because to them it is cold. When I moved from Boston to Southern California when the temps dropped to 50F the locals all broke out their down winter coats while I was wearing a hoodie. They were adapted to their climate.

Of course they might just be too lazy to take off their coats

[NZNeep]

I think they have adapted to leave their coats on for the duration of the trip out of convenience


I have a meeting at work in the morning, and I will be taking all of you badass inspirational GABIT women in with me. I finally had enough of my coworkers and their misogynist, homophobic, racist bull**** and reported it. Now I have a meeting to explain what had been happening and tell them what I expect them to do about it. I felt so alone when I spoke up, even the women who were on that shift stopped speaking to me, I guess because I was a grass? I don't know. Luckily I had Titta to be my sounding board, to reassure me I was doing the right thing. I will be telling my team leader that I don't want an apology from any of the culprits because it's very clear that it would be another patronising "sorry you were offended" non-apology. They will never understand how their behaviour is wrong and I'm sick of trying. What I want is to never be put in that environment again, whether that means moving me to an earlier shift where everything is more professional or by splitting up the culprits.

[llp]

I think they have adapted to leave their coats on for the duration of the trip out of convenience


I have a meeting at work in the morning, and I will be taking all of you badass inspirational GABIT women in with me. I finally had enough of my coworkers and their misogynist, homophobic, racist bull**** and reported it. Now I have a meeting to explain what had been happening and tell them what I expect them to do about it. I felt so alone when I spoke up, even the women who were on that shift stopped speaking to me, I guess because I was a grass? I don't know. Luckily I had Titta to be my sounding board, to reassure me I was doing the right thing. I will be telling my team leader that I don't want an apology from any of the culprits because it's very clear that it would be another patronising "sorry you were offended" non-apology. They will never understand how their behaviour is wrong and I'm sick of trying. What I want is to never be put in that environment again, whether that means moving me to an earlier shift where everything is more professional or by splitting up the culprits.

That is a brave action you are taking. I commend you on doing that.

[EH-T]

I think they have adapted to leave their coats on for the duration of the trip out of convenience


I have a meeting at work in the morning, and I will be taking all of you badass inspirational GABIT women in with me. I finally had enough of my coworkers and their misogynist, homophobic, racist bull**** and reported it. Now I have a meeting to explain what had been happening and tell them what I expect them to do about it. I felt so alone when I spoke up, even the women who were on that shift stopped speaking to me, I guess because I was a grass? I don't know. Luckily I had Titta to be my sounding board, to reassure me I was doing the right thing. I will be telling my team leader that I don't want an apology from any of the culprits because it's very clear that it would be another patronising "sorry you were offended" non-apology. They will never understand how their behaviour is wrong and I'm sick of trying. What I want is to never be put in that environment again, whether that means moving me to an earlier shift where everything is more professional or by splitting up the culprits.

Please know that we will be with you in spirit. Always difficult speaking out against people like that but it is the right and brave thing to do. ** Hugs little Neep**

[Devilish Me]

I think they have adapted to leave their coats on for the duration of the trip out of convenience


I have a meeting at work in the morning, and I will be taking all of you badass inspirational GABIT women in with me. I finally had enough of my coworkers and their misogynist, homophobic, racist bull**** and reported it. Now I have a meeting to explain what had been happening and tell them what I expect them to do about it. I felt so alone when I spoke up, even the women who were on that shift stopped speaking to me, I guess because I was a grass? I don't know. Luckily I had Titta to be my sounding board, to reassure me I was doing the right thing. I will be telling my team leader that I don't want an apology from any of the culprits because it's very clear that it would be another patronising "sorry you were offended" non-apology. They will never understand how their behaviour is wrong and I'm sick of trying. What I want is to never be put in that environment again, whether that means moving me to an earlier shift where everything is more professional or by splitting up the culprits.

That's appalling! You were right to report it.
*hugs*
Hope the situation turns out the best way for you.

[SWMBOTGSG]

I think they have adapted to leave their coats on for the duration of the trip out of convenience


I have a meeting at work in the morning, and I will be taking all of you badass inspirational GABIT women in with me. I finally had enough of my coworkers and their misogynist, homophobic, racist bull**** and reported it. Now I have a meeting to explain what had been happening and tell them what I expect them to do about it. I felt so alone when I spoke up, even the women who were on that shift stopped speaking to me, I guess because I was a grass? I don't know. Luckily I had Titta to be my sounding board, to reassure me I was doing the right thing. I will be telling my team leader that I don't want an apology from any of the culprits because it's very clear that it would be another patronising "sorry you were offended" non-apology. They will never understand how their behaviour is wrong and I'm sick of trying. What I want is to never be put in that environment again, whether that means moving me to an earlier shift where everything is more professional or by splitting up the culprits.

GO YOU! (((huggles the Neeplet))) By showing them you won't stand for it any more, it should make them think twice before starting anything again. I hope those in charge do the right thing.

(((More huggles)))

Mumsey

[Samantha-Carter-is-my-muse]

(((huggles Neep))) you're doing the right thing - I hope those in charge will follow your example.

[SWMBOTGSG]

What I don't get is how Londoners can leave their coats on in the tube. They put their coat on when they leave, fair enough it's cold outside. Then they sit on the sweltering train wearing coats, and scarves... Too polite to elbow everyone while they strip down, clearly.

In the long run, it's a matter of convenience. Mostly, folk travelling on the tube are commuting, and the long term aim is to get in and out of the tube as quickly as possible. That means, if you stop to take off or put on your coat, it means you take that bit of time more to get where you are going. Commuting in London is something of a race. If you snooze you lose. Also, it's usually so crowded, it's easier to wear your outer clothing than to carry it.

Mumsey
(who did her share of commuting in her youth)

[NZNeep]

Thanks you guys! Just what I needed to read on the way to work. I don't know why it's so much more upsetting to me that there were women involved too, maybe because I think they should know better? Because I'm sheltered by the people I choose to spend time with outside work? I just know there is no point kicking myself for not saying anything sooner. I was just too trusting that they were good people really.

I'm sitting on a half empty train in a sun dress with my jacket on the seat beside me, Mumsey!

[neverendingimagination]

Thanks you guys! Just what I needed to read on the way to work. I don't know why it's so much more upsetting to me that there were women involved too, maybe because I think they should know better? Because I'm sheltered by the people I choose to spend time with outside work? I just know there is no point kicking myself for not saying anything sooner. I was just too trusting that they were good people really.

I'm sitting on a half empty train in a sun dress with my jacket on the seat beside me, Mumsey!

I hope the meeting went well. As the others have said, it's tough to make that stand and its very brave of you to do so. We should all strive to meet any incidents of discrimination with such a positive and strong reaction. Sustained discrimination by colleagues should not be tolerated. Well done for reporting it to your employers.

I know how hard it is to be seen as the 'grass' (tattle-tale, tell-tale) and alienated by colleagues for informing superiors that policies are not being adhered to - I ignored them and let them get on with their petty issues. It still makes me uncomfortable that someone was sacked due partially to evidence I provided in a witness statement - I shouldn't as she tried to blame the incident on me. My manager and ex-deputy manager told me that when they reviewed the CCTV, it was obvious she was lying because I was - to quote my ex-deputy - 'running around like a blue-arsed-fly', whilst the other member of staff completed the transaction which was classed as gross misconduct. Most of the staff have matured now and don't treat me like a leper, others still see me as 'Eddie's grass' but I just let them go on with it.

[EH-T]

Just to let folks know, S4K is running another Bricks & Blocks campaign. The initial money goes to help in the Philippines and, until December 1, all donations will be matched by the Canadian Government.

Neep, how'd it go?

[donamac]

I think they have adapted to leave their coats on for the duration of the trip out of convenience


I have a meeting at work in the morning, and I will be taking all of you badass inspirational GABIT women in with me. I finally had enough of my coworkers and their misogynist, homophobic, racist bull**** and reported it. Now I have a meeting to explain what had been happening and tell them what I expect them to do about it. I felt so alone when I spoke up, even the women who were on that shift stopped speaking to me, I guess because I was a grass? I don't know. Luckily I had Titta to be my sounding board, to reassure me I was doing the right thing. I will be telling my team leader that I don't want an apology from any of the culprits because it's very clear that it would be another patronising "sorry you were offended" non-apology. They will never understand how their behaviour is wrong and I'm sick of trying. What I want is to never be put in that environment again, whether that means moving me to an earlier shift where everything is more professional or by splitting up the culprits.

Back when I worked in an art studio I got a lot of **** from a couple of coworkers and was sexually harassed. At that time it was common and no one ever bothered complaining about it because usually it either came to nothing and often only made it worse in the long run. I was finally let go which turned out to be doing me a favor as it happened--probably never would have moved out to Seattle if it hadn't happened. BUT!! I always felt I should have done something about it…

>>>SOOOO I'm delighted to hear you DID do something about your situation--makes me proud of you!

Dona (nothing like it has ever happened to me here in Seattle) I love it here!!!

[Chelle DB]

Just popping in with a message from Ames - she says to say hello to everyone and that she's still very happy to do the blue jelly/jello thing for AT7.
Of course I too pass on my howdy doodees and hope everyone has been safe and well and had a great year thus far.
My hope is to make it to AT8 should it fall around November in 2015.
Many hugs to all...missing all Gabiteers very much.
xxxx

[NZNeep]

Thanks for thinking of me guys, it actually went really well! Better than I could have imagined. The meeting started with my team leader telling me he was proud of me and that any resulting tension in the team was not my problem. I specifically requested no apologies because it would be fake and forced- things have been a wee bit awkward but all good. The real test will be Saturday night when the same team is on again with no supervision. I don't know what the consequences will be exactly because any disciplinary meetings/processes are confidential and no one is likely gossip about them to me! I have also found one really good ally on the team, he has kept me sane.

A few hours before it all kicked off I just happened to read a quote on tumblr- I would much rather be the “obnoxious feminist girl” than be complicit in my own dehumanization, thanks.

Well, yes.