Originally posted by lastrequest
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Unfortunately, due to real life right now, I have found that I am unable to enjoy the show as I did before. Before, watching it, fangirling over Nikola and Teslen and everything Sanctuary-related would be capable of lifting my mood and actually making me happy. Watching the show last night, I just didn't feel it. Don't get me wrong--I enjoyed the ep. a lot--but it didn't give me the same excitement as the show has done before. I didn't even get as excited at the end when my brain started coming up with possible theories (mostly involving Nikola). Usually I'd be jumping up and down and squeeing and making a big deal of it. Last night, I was just like "ooh!" and then "eh" and then went back to moping. It wasn't normal.
It has nothing to do with the show itself. My life has just plummeted so much that I can't get hyped up any more. And you guys remember how freaking excited I used to get. And I was all on about writing a bagillion new fanfics every week, etc. Now there's just...no drive to do that. It takes a huge effort to actually just get my brain to feel like making up a new fanfic (that doesn't involve tragic death with no emotional closure...b/c I just wrote one like that off the top of my head earlier this week). And that is WEIRD for me. Really, really, really BAD. My mind is always brimming with so many ideas that I can't keep track of them, and now it's just...dead.
I know I shouldn't be bringing down the mood of everyone else, but as of the moment, I'm all alone. I have friends on-campus, but I live at home, in the midst of all the issues, and I can't get away from them when I'm stuck here.
And remember how squee-ful I'd get over seeing Teslen in EVERYTHING? It doesn't happen like that anymore
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