Petition: A Return to the Glory Days of Full Frontal Nudity!

[Cat_the_Alien]

Yes, I think lots of people would appreciate the men of SG1 on the beach in appropriate attire.

Oh wait, you're not petitioning for scantily clad men?

(Its a 2-way street, boys!)

[Ouroboros]

Off topic chatter, how dare they! I see now that the forces of the sinister anti-boobie Jihad are well entrenched here.

I knew I should have tried to sneek this in as an attachment to a larger petition. Ok from now on this is also a petition to get that marine who died in episode 5 of season 6 to be brought back to life.

Ok everyone commence whining about the injustice of that now, that'll get us back in the limelight!

[Pharaoh Atem]

Get a girlfriend, then you can watch her nude + have sex with her. You can't have sex with your tv.

oh and I don't think stargate should have what your saying

took the words right out of my post.

[Alipeeps]

I can't decide what's funnier; the original post or the fact that people have completely missed the point and responded to it seriously!

[gatetravel1]

I can't decide what's funnier; the original post or the fact that people have completely missed the point and responded to it seriously!

They point that the writer is a no lifer with nothing better to do?

[PG15]

If the original poster had no life, what will that say about those who responded?

[gatetravel1]

If the original poster had no life, what will that say about those who responded?

nothing

[Dr Weir]

Now like an ever increasing number of people around the globe who watch this show I've become ever more bored, fed up and worn out by the constant stream of lame technomagic plots, dues ex machinas and sci-fi cliches that have been masqurading in the place where a show called stargate sg-1 used to reside.

Right now you're probably thinking "well by golly this man is correct, and I feel the same way, I should send him some money!" or if you've watched the series finale of sg1 already you've stopped sobbing only for as long as it took you to give me a trembling unsteady nod from beneath your gruesome veil of vomit and tears.

For those of you less willing to jump on the happy wagon with the rest of us you've probably already spotted what would appear to be a severe flaw in my soon to be proposed plan. "Ahh but Ouroboros, if you're about to suggest a bunch of stupid ways to improve the show you forget two important things you fool of fools you. Not only will they never listen to you, since your'e not a drooling fanboy with the IQ of an acorn, but even if they did it's doubtfull that they would actually possess the sheer writing skill required to put your genius plans for reform into effect! So you see you fail hahahahahaha!"

Well to that I say, not so fast admiral smart ass.

You see this thread isn't about fixing the stargate franchise. I gave up on trying to offer meager and obvious suggestions on how to plug that sinking ship after watching "unending" this week. No this is more about snatching some booty (or boobie) as the case may be, off the ship before she's swallowed in the brimey deep for all time.

This thread, for those of you who somehow clicked on it without reading the title, is about a return back to the glory days of full frontal nudity in the stargate franchise.

What's that you say, a return?

That's right folks. Though I obviously can't post the necessary pictures to prove it, Stargate sg-1, at one point in it's history, featured full frontal nudity. It was in the pilot episode children of the gods in a scene where Pop's got an eyefull of Danny boy's wife Sharae. It's a completely 100% legitimate part of the series and even comes on the DVD.

Now the beauty of my plan here is that, unlike anything aimed at actually saving the show by addressing the various massive problems with the quality of the stories, it's easy. And if there's anything I've learned from watching these last few years of stargate, quite a few people over there in Vancouver like things easy.

So without further ado here's my proposal. In the last movie that will count as part of the Stargate SG1 franchise there needs to be another sampling of some titilating full frontal nudity. Think of it as sort of a bookend, a back cover if you will to the franchise. What began with boobies, shall end with boobies... or something equally profound sounding but to that same effect. The important thing to keep in mind is the boobies. The boobies must be present or all shall surely be lost.

As for whose boobies they should be, I will leave that question up to you, my fellow connoisseurs of clevage.

Now who's with me!

When did it become an "adult" forum? It’s in the rules to be PG. Frankly I don't see how having nudity will make stargate entertaining again. If I want to look at a naked man, I can google it.

[Deputy-Assistant-Second-Prime]

So without further ado here's my proposal. In the last movie that will count as part of the Stargate SG1 franchise there needs to be another sampling of some titilating full frontal nudity. Think of it as sort of a bookend, a back cover if you will to the franchise. What began with boobies, shall end with boobies... or something equally profound sounding but to that same effect. The important thing to keep in mind is the boobies. The boobies must be present or all shall surely be lost.

As for whose boobies they should be, I will leave that question up to you, my fellow connoisseurs of clevage.

Now who's with me!

Oh, I definitely am.
When I first saw Children of the Gods, I immediately thought to myself, "Wow, this is going to be an incredible show, it's like a boobie version of the original movie."

Then after ten years of SG-1...zero boobage.
Well, you can imagine my disappointment.
The quality of the series had clearly been diminished.
I thought they were going to improve the series in Season 4 but Anise/Freya left quite suddenly.

I don't know how many times Carter would give a science lecture and I would just think to myself, "Although I find quantum physics fascinating, I'd find her argument far more compelling if she flashed the other characters at least once."

Now I know what you're thinking...she gave some pretty long speeches...once might not be enough, so twice could well have been necessary for the show's survival.
Just think, folks...we could have had another season and the series would have been much better.

Thrice per speech might have even been enough to inspire youth to take up a career in science.
After all, we can't keep letting China beat us in science education.
Damn it, people. This is a serious issue.

But I'd take it a step further.
The new SG-1 movies should be more like an episode of Lexx.
Let me tell, you could get quite an education watching Lexx. I know I did.
You know who else is a big fan of Lexx? That's right, Don S. Davis.
Some years back, in an interview between him, Amanda Tapping, and Teryl Rothery, he spoke about Lexx at length, citing it's virtues, and wishing SG-1 could learn from it.

To which Ms. Rothery concluded, "I think he wants to see our boobies."
Well, he's not alone and the clock is ticking, folks.
In conclusion, I say we bring back Dr. Fraiser.
I miss what she brought to the show.

[Callista]

He'd have to have boobies installed first though. We might have to revise his contract and I guess somebody should probably ask him if he's ok with it.

Have you looked at him lately? Granted, they're all muscle, but still....he's bigger than a lot of women I know.

I hope ouroboros doesn't "put me in my place".
Hmmm. There aren't any smilies with shields.
I guess I'll use this one:
Surely he wouldn't shoot at a nox. (Would he?!?)

[PG15]

nothing

If only...

[Alipeeps]

They point that the writer is a no lifer with nothing better to do?

I'm sorry, can you say that again in English?

[Mister Oragahn]

When did it become an "adult" forum? It’s in the rules to be PG. Frankly I don't see how having nudity will make stargate entertaining again. If I want to look at a naked man, I can google it.

I didn't know the words boobies, tits and Full Frontal Nudity were R rated...

I mean, come on, even Teal'c is crawling for vaginas. It's been ten freaking years he's been wearing that gold tatoo and unable to hook with a girl for more than a couple of episodes, and his son, Bray'wack or whatever, has been decasted due to some prolongated multi-years lack of screentime.
He's technically dead. Teal'c has no duties anymore.

[Ouroboros]

If the original poster had no life, what will that say about those who responded?

That they have the sort of life that affords them time to respond to the ramblings of someone on the internet who has no life I suppose. I think it also increases the chances that they're likely to enjoy dried figs.

When did it become an "adult" forum? It’s in the rules to be PG. Frankly I don't see how having nudity will make stargate entertaining again. If I want to look at a naked man, I can google it.

Adult forum, cool where's that one! It's not listed in the main list do you need a special password, invite, secret handshake? I demand to know where this adult forum is. If I have to go another day without seeing a naked hivequeen I'm liable to cast myself in front of a bus and/or other form of metropolitan public conveyance.

They do have hivequeens "in the buff" I believe the term is, correct? I mean if they didn't what would be the point.

Oh, I definitely am.
When I first saw Children of the Gods, I immediately thought to myself, "Wow, this is going to be an incredible show, it's like a boobie version of the original movie."

Then after ten years of SG-1...zero boobage.
Well, you can imagine my disappointment.
The quality of the series had clearly been diminished.
I thought they were going to improve the series in Season 4 but Anise/Freya left quite suddenly.

I don't know how many times Carter would give a science lecture and I would just think to myself, "Although I find quantum physics fascinating, I'd find her argument far more compelling if she flashed the other characters at least once."

See now this man, despite his exceptionally long screename I won't trouble myself to type out fully, he knows the score. 10 years and not a single boobie since the first episode. That falls well bellow accepted national boobie standards and it's downright worrisome. The experts who hang out infront of the variety store near my house all agree, more boobies=better show. Why all the boobie hate? Isn't this some sort of prejudice or one of those dreaded "isms" everyone needs to avoid. If it's not already it damn well should be. I for one will not stand for discrimination against boobies in a Tv show, or anywhere else, no sir I most certainly will not. No ethical human being could abide the existence of such evil in this world.

Now I know what you're thinking...she gave some pretty long speeches...once might not be enough, so twice could well have been necessary for the show's survival.
Just think, folks...we could have had another season and the series would have been much better.

Thrice per speech might have even been enough to inspire youth to take up a career in science.
After all, we can't keep letting China beat us in science education.
Damn it, people. This is a serious issue.

Yes, of course! How could I have overlooked this most important detail! Think of the children folks! We must all think of the children!

You see in addition to providing sweet milky nourishment to them in the earliest years of their lives, it's a little known but important fact that boobies can also continue to help wayward children well into their teen years and even later!

By giving youth the impression that the airforce and scientific professions are filled with assorted hot women waiting to give lucky young lads an eyefull we can keep those same young lads off the streets and away from drugs, cat shaving and the evils of miscellaneous crime! Boobies on TV can save lives folks! Even if you're not a young lad you can still benefit! Imagine for example you wake up one morning to find your car has been broken into and numerous valuables stolen. "Oh my word, what sort of dastardly feind would perpetrate such an offence against polite society!" you would no doubt exclaim. Well I'll tell you what sort of feind. The sort of feind who wasn't baited into the airforce or scientific community by the prospect of seeing some sweet sweet boobage, that's the sort of feind.

There now all you haters, that made you rethink your anti-boobyism now didn't it. Here's a slice of humble pie, you go ahead and enjoy.

So then the next time you're a victim of crime just think to yourself. If there were more boobies on Tv this might not have happened to me.

Join with me all, and together we shall build a better world!

[Deputy-Assistant-Second-Prime]

See now this man, despite his exceptionally long screename I won't trouble myself to type out fully, he knows the score. 10 years and not a single boobie since the first episode. That falls well bellow accepted national boobie standards and it's downright worrisome.

Without boobies, our whole society would begin to implode.
The economy would decline, after all...commerce is based on sex.
That's what Adam Smith's invisible hand is for...pointing at boobies.

The experts who hang out infront of the variety store near my house all agree, more boobies=better show.

I kept hearing over the years how Congress was supposedly addressing the issue of nudity on television....
....yet nowadays there's less and less.
You'd think they were trying to take boobies off television. But that'd be crazy.

Why all the boobie hate? Isn't this some sort of prejudice or one of those dreaded "isms" everyone needs to avoid. If it's not already it damn well should be. I for one will not stand for discrimination against boobies in a Tv show, or anywhere else, no sir I most certainly will not. No ethical human being could abide the existence of such evil in this world.

I'm beginning to think all those people who were "upset" with Janet Jackson weren't actually joking.
Good Lord! I think they might have actually been serious.
At the time, it just seemed so absurd...I mean they just had to be joking, right?
How could we even be expected to take such discourse seriously? It's insidious.

Yes, of course! How could I have overlooked this most important detail! Think of the children folks! We must all think of the children!

You see in addition to providing sweet milky nourishment to them in the earliest years of their lives, it's a little known but important fact that boobies can also continue to help wayward children well into their teen years and even later!

By giving youth the impression that the airforce and scientific professions are filled with assorted hot women waiting to give lucky young lads an eyefull we can keep those same young lads off the streets and away from drugs, cat shaving and the evils of miscellaneous crime! Boobies on TV can save lives folks! Even if you're not a young lad you can still benefit! Imagine for example you wake up one morning to find your car has been broken into and numerous valuables stolen. "Oh my word, what sort of dastardly feind would perpetrate such an offence against polite society!" you would no doubt exclaim. Well I'll tell you what sort of feind. The sort of feind who wasn't baited into the airforce or scientific community by the prospect of seeing some sweet sweet boobage, that's the sort of feind.

Testify, brother!

There now all you haters, that made you rethink your anti-boobyism now didn't it. Here's a slice of humble pie, you go ahead and enjoy.

So then the next time you're a victim of crime just think to yourself. If there were more boobies on Tv this might not have happened to me.

Join with me all, and together we shall build a better world!

That was beautiful.

*sniff*

Excuse me for a moment.

Got something in my eye.