Favorite/Not So Favorite Stargate Quotes !

[VirtualCLD]

Sorry, I'm newish to Stargate and I don't knoow exact quotes or episode names, but here it goes:

Favorite "quotes" (Mostly paraphrased and possible SPOILER ALERT)















"I hope you enjoy Guiness, sir, I find it's a good substitute for things like... food" -O'Neill

"Inertial dampeners?" -Carter
"Cool! .. Uh, Check! Phasers?" -O'Neill
"Sorry sir, not this flight." -Carter -Episode test flying X-302?

The Other Guys:
"We're dead! We might as well be wearing red shirts!" - One of the other guys
"I don't get that" - The other "other guy"

First Cassandra episode?: (Very poorly paraphrased)
"So we're going to observe a black hole?" -Jackson
"Well, you can't actually see a black hole, but you can see the matter being sucked into it." -Carter
"It's called an Accretion disk" -O'Neill
"Well it's ju... turning sharply to O'Neill in disbeleif What did you say?!" -Jackson
"What? The colonel doesn't have a tellescope on is roof just to spy on the neighbors." -Carter
Carter and Jackson step through the gate. O'Neill turns to Teal'c.
"Well... not at first." -O'Neill

That last one was long and poorly quoted, my appologies, but I like that short little squence.

[Chevron 1]

And my favourite quote of the moment....
Lost City
Jack(to sam)-You are one of the countries natural resources, if not national tresures.
So sweet.....

Being a shipper, I would've added one more line, a la Rachel Greene from Friends:
Carter: I've never wanted you more.

[Ugly Pig]

Being a shipper, I would've added one more line, a la Rachel Greene from Friends:
Carter: I've never wanted you more.

I've seen that episode of Friends. I seem to recall that line was delivered in a very sarcastic manner.

[Chevron 1]

It wouldn't be sarcastic in my vision.

[Ocelot]

Kindsey: How dare you come into my home waving a gun around!
Jack: Not waving, POINTING!

[SilverHawk]

Torment of Tantalus
All right. Basic survival training. We know what we have. What do we need? [O'Neill]
We have the Stargate. We need the Dial Home Device. [Teal'c]
Thank you, Teal'c. [O'Neill]

Hathor
I have a hard time believing this woman down on 73rd who walks around talking about these little "devil people" that live in her hair... even though she could use a little conditioner. [O'Neill]

Within The Serpent's Grasp
I believe a medical attack could be successful. [Teal'c]
Surgical attack, Teal'c. It's called a surgical attack, and I'd feel like an idiot. [O'Neill]

Fair Game
Certainly not those lyin', schemin', no good for nothin', slimy, overdressed, style-mongers -- I wasn't finished... [O'Neill]

Rules of Engagement
The whole "invasion of the Tauri" idea has been cancelled due to... rain. [O'Neill]

The Crystal Skull
Dr. Fraiser believes you are not strong enough to undertake such a mission. [Teal'c]
Yeah, whatever... [thud] [O'Neill]
Dr. Fraiser is usually correct in such matters. [Teal'c]
Thank you. [O'Neill]
You are welcome, O'Neill. [Teal'c]

The Other Side
So, what's your impression of Alar? [O'Neill]
That he is concealing something. [Teal'c]
Like what? [O'Neill]
I am unsure. He is concealing it. [Teal'c]

Window of Opportunity
I ask you, what could possibly be in my eye that would explain this? [O'Neill]

Tangent
Several hundred years. Yeah, just, uh... let me do the math on that, here... carry the four... [O'Neill]

Entity
MALPs can't fly. [O'Neill]
Apparently they can. [Daniel]
Shouldn't there be a memo on this stuff? [O'Neill]

Exodus
Well, it was kind of a trade deal. Cronus gave us his ship, and he got what was coming to him. [O'Neill]


Justin
§

[Ugly Pig]

An oldie but a goodie from Thor's Chariot:
Teal'c: Things will not calm down, Daniel Jackson. They will in fact calm up.

[earck]

Wier: Since time is short.
Jack: Actually it is all relative ma'am. Carter could explain it better if we had more time.

[redtwo]

Don't know why but I have always liked from Crystal Skull:
FRAISER: Apparently his failure to prove the crystal skull was more than just a curiosity caused a severe mental breakdown from which he's never recovered. Nick checked himself in.
CARTER: Why wouldn't Daniel have told us that?
DANIEL: Oh yes, by the way, he's insane.

And my all time personal favorite from Message in a Bottle:
O'NEILL: Teal'c, you don't have to stick around.
TEAL'C: Undomesticated equines could not remove me.
O'NEILL: Wild horses Teal'c, it's... that's a joke. You told a joke. Don't make me laugh.
TEAL'C: Very well.
O'NEILL: You're a good man my friend.
TEAL'C: As are you, my friend.

H

[LoneStar1836]

The Fifth Man was on today, and I got a good chuckle out of this exchange between Lt. Tyler and Jack.

Jack: "Born in Chicago, raised in Minnesota."

Lt. Tyler: "Is it nice there?"

Jack: "Is it nice there? You know what Goa'uld really want from us? Minnesota that's what. For the fishing mostly. I'll take you sometime."

Lt. Tyler: "Fishing?"

Jack: "Oh yeah. Ask Teal'c, he can't get enough."

[Crazedwraith]

Daniel: Their whole worlds on fire, and we're offering gasoline?
Teal'c: We are, in fact, offering water.
Daniel: I was using a metaphor.
Jack: Well don't!, Its not fair on Teal'c!

[Genty]

From PoV

"That was quick?"
"Too Quick, this just doesnt sit right, there are some lines that are just not meant to be crossed"

From Into The Fire... (lets see if i can get this one right...)
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HAWWWWWWWW!!!!"

Double Jepordy
"Bring it on Flyboy i soooo own you!@
(the O'Neills proceed to fight)
"Sir... Sir's as much as we'd all like to see how this pans out, with got more important buisness..."

Sentinal
"I feel so much better knowing an Archeologist is watching our back..."
"Yeah Jack, Which end does this thing go in again?"

Full Circle
"Surrender Or die!"
"I was about to say exactly the same thing to you!"


And a special mention goes to D&C
"Because i care about her... More than i supposed to..."

[-Jules-]

Teal'c: Good luck O'Neill!
O'Neill:Wish me luck.

[PeeJ]

Not sure if its been mentioned already cause i havent read them all yet but I like the bit where the russian sub officer says (in russian although the subtitles if there were any dont state this), after hearing a noise in the torpedo tube:

'Maybe its one of those metal spiders out of an earlier episode."

I cant remember how I found this out either, although reading it here would be a good guess.

[greytop]

One of my favorites in Crystal Skull. It is when Jack and Hammond and talking and Nick comes into the room with Daniel.

Paraphased Quote

Daniel (to Nick):Just repeat what I say.
Jack says something, I forgot what.
Daniel: Jack don't be such an ass.
NicK: Jack don't be such an ass.
The look on the others faces.

Another one is mention in my sig.

I have many other favorites that have already been mention, just many to count.