whats your favorite Jack one liner?

[PG15]

"What?" Darn near every episode.

"If I say 'what' one more time, heads are gonna roll!"

[The Maneuver]

From COTG:

Hammond: "Have you ever thought about writing a book?"
Jack: "Yes, but I'd have to kill anybody who read it."

[Bam]

Kind of long, but from Fragile Balance:

"Daniel, until recently you were an ascended being, ya broke the rules, got yourself kicked out of the Oma Desala fan club and got your memory erased."

[Nem2k]

If I'm not mistaken, aren't there two versions of this line? On the Sci-Fi edit he says "Goa'uld TV", but in the original he says something along the lines of "Think it gets Showtime?".

yep that must be true because ive never heard Goauld TV, and I remember him saying the line about showtime

and can anyone explain that Bacci thing in Abyss? I had no clue what he was going on about

[Laros]

A bunch of one-liners in the same paragraph from Threads:

-How many times have you thought he was gone, and then he shows up -- in one form or another.

-I'm sorry, but we're not having a memorial service for someone who is not dead. (to the celing) You hear that?! I'm not buyin' it!

-He's just waitin' for us to say a bunch of nice things about him. Next thing you know, he'll come waltzin' through that door. Like, right now... Waltzing... now.

[Erised]

local: he's a jaffaa!
Jack: No, but he plays one on TV!

*rotflmao!*

[Bam]

and can anyone explain that Bacci thing in Abyss? I had no clue what he was going on about

A "bocce ball" is a ball used in the sport known as "bocce". Ba'al is pronounced similar to "ball".

[Nick]

Season 6 "the other guys"

Jack "Ah, it wont be long."
Jonas "For what?"
Jack "oh some over dressed over the top bad guy floats in gloating about
what ever evil fiat awaits us, wait for it, see."

[plaw15]

local: he's a jaffaa!
Jack: No, but he plays one on TV!

*rotflmao!*

I like that one too, and it's true!

[-Major Woody]

I can't believe I forgot one of my favorites:

"Carter, I can see my house!" -Fail Safe

[NakedJehutyV2]

too much but my fav that i can remember is whe he wanted to name the prommie, the enterprise

[Callista]

My favorite is from "Into the Fire" when they are trying to find their way out of Hathor's fake SGC and Jack opens a door and there's nothing there but a wall and he says: "D*&ned cost-cutting!" and Sam and Daniel just sort of look at him.
For some reason, that just really cracks me up.

[LORD MONK]

I am going to go out on a limb on this one. Not only is it my favorite line but Jack doesn't say it and I can't remember it. The only reason why I am stating it is because I know someone out their can finish it and it is about Jack.

I think it was Chevronguy that says it. The one thing I know for sure is that it was in the ep. Ex Dues Machine with all the Baal clones.

It went something like Jack was tortured to death over and over again to death and brought back to life more times then I can amagine, They didn't give up them then and he won't give up up them now.

[Callista]

Actually, I think that's from

Spoiler:

Zero Hour in season 8, isn't it?

[SqueeG-1]

Cool ... and check. Phasers? (I forget the episode title.)

And the entire bit with Herak in Full Circle, including:
Herak: I will speak with my master.
Jack: Yes, you do that. Don't forget to tell him you screwed up again.
Jonas: Is it really necessary to further antagonize him?
Jack: Yes.