All I Ever Needed to Know, I Learned from Stargate...

[litt1eant]

1. There are NO little green men at area 51. They are little grey men.
2. Hijacking snake infested motherships is easy.
3. Jell-o is brain food.

[lord-anubis]

time is reltive cater can expain it better

asending is over rated

[Catalase]

- When testing new technology, the first thing you do is shoot someone in the leg.

- It is possible for Canadian children to build nuclear bombs.

- Spaceships are like cars...the moment you lend it to somebody it gets totalled.

- It is seemingly impossible to deascend with clothes.

- In the future, all ball-sports will be played through wormholes.

- Anyone with a long-range communicator is a traitor. (even if all they might be using it for is a baby monitor )

- When Rodney says a "few dozen" of anything is left, he means about four. ;P

- "Blast doors" get their name for a reason.

- Siler should solve every problem with a flamethrower.

- Even though Microsoft Windows has problems networking two identical-make PC's together, there's no problem interfacing with thousands of years old alien technology.

- Despite being a dead language that only Dr. Jackson is supposed to be able to know, anyone with a laptop or notebook can translate ancient.

[Darkstar]

when waiting for the gate to dial up wait till the last minute to run through and get shot in the back.

or if you do wanna run through with the enmy or the aschen defense drones shooting at you always have a grapaling gun at the ready just in case in need to fall off and then fail to make it to the gate.

[Darkstar]

remember 1 shot stuns 2 shots kill and 3 shots disintigrate anything but nothing around it oh and they always open goa'uld doors.

[litt1eant]

Keep your zats set on stun?


(I'm sorry. I'm way too new to be making jokes that bad)

[the Fifth Race]

1.) If at first you don't succeed, get Thor to do it instead.

Some just happen to look better without hair.

Kurt Russell and James Spader are respected but rarely spoken of

Measure twice, then ask Carter.

MacGyver never happened, it was probably all a dream. O'Neill should really start seeing a shrink.

LOLOL..clever Jeff!....Spader and Russell rock!!

Hey, I loved McGyver!

[Seperated@Birth?]

It seems that most things in the SGC can be fixed with a really big wrench

[yasureubetcha]

Naming system lords "Yu" and "Ba'al" was a bad idea. [Insert bad pun here.]

[Seperated@Birth?]

Overconfidence in technology can be your undoing

[_Owen_]

Never, EVER, dial up a planet to which the event horizon of a black hole is closer than specified saftey regulations. But if, by accident, you do this have small nuclear warhead at ready.

If, however you decide to use said black hole to blow up a star, please have your hyperdrive enhanced by a Zero Point Module, or power source of equal, or greater strength.

Owen Macri

[TechnoWraith]

-The Asgard always knock on the door by turning off the lights.

-When an Asgard is in doubt, offer a dumb idea.

-When parking a cloaked Puddlejumper, pay real close attention to where you parked. Otherwise it's a long walk home.

-The Wraith are real handy for "getting rid" of people who annoy you to no end.

-Naquadah can blow up anything.

-When being shot at by Jaffa, just stay in one place. They're not going to hit you anyway.

-If you bring your laptop offworld, don't forget your handy-dandy USB cable!

-Replicators are really glorified Legos.

[Seperated@Birth?]

Putting your fingers in your ears and humming loudly solves a multitude of problems.

[Lida]

It seems that most things in the SGC can be fixed with a really big wrench

A wrench? Really? And all this time I thought they used duck tape. Silly me.

[Seperated@Birth?]

Plan 3 works every time