All I Ever Needed to Know, I Learned from Stargate...

[umopapisdn]

All advanced races have no common sense.

[s09119]

The only race capable of intelligent thought, despite what their past achievments or technology implies, are human onces. And in particular, the only human group capable of any truly brilliant thought is Earth.

[Cory Holmes]

The best way to get improved performance from co-workers is to threaten them with certain death (C6H8O7 springs to mind)

[nich959]

Never share your ice cream

[LostCityGuardian]

Never bait an old Jaffa, because sometimes they will kick your ass and gloat about how it was not bad for a man of 133.

[Krisz]

Ancient technology is invariably faulty in one way or another.

How else can the reason why most planets turn out to look the same be explained? The Ancient life seeding/terraforming machine must have got stuck on the evergreen forest, mountain and lake setting.

[JJSNgadget]

the canadian setting

[Syera]

-Puddlejumpers left outside for 10,000 years won't be buried by anything more than a few branches and leaves.

-Common rules of geology do not function on other planets. Ancient cities are never buried over time (even when younger cities on Earth are completely covered) and erosion never happens. Ever.

-Aliens do not express body language of any kind, nor do they have any unique gestures as we on Earth have.

[JJSNgadget]

You can never carry enough C-4.



And no, there's no such thing as C-5.

Yet.

give Cadman some time, she is the bomb expert.

[hamatau'ri]

Never ever ever use Naqahdriah
Never make the first letter of your name/race "A" or you will inevitably die Alterans, Asgard, - unless you slap ascended in front of it!
It is VERY VERY hard to kill a certain Tau'ri in the Stargate Universe...
Intelligence is just complicated foolishness.
When you think you've had enough, throw a Stargate on every human planet in the Galaxy... if you still havent had enough, throw a Stargate into another galaxy, as well as a Supergate ... but add a teleport to a ship and it isnt really exciting anymore.
Most planets are just clones of that same forest on Planet Earth. Talk about paranoia!
Most episode that begin in 2 or the 2nd last letter of the alphabet are funny.
Carter will never hve time to explain relativity to Weir and Kinsey, because there isn't enough time.
Keep lemons handy when taking a trip to Atlantis
If you want a show series to keep on going, never stop trying to end it, or it will end. Ironic, isn't it.
Apart from teleports, Alterans don't have a very good sense of round.
Always share, or you will regret it...
The Alterans and Asgard aren't very good at keeping the family together.
The Furlings made a vital mistake in their development which made them invisible to the universe
The Alterans are responisble for EVERYTHING. THey might aswell be GODS. No wonder their cousins the Ori and alleged creation Goa'uld think they are!
Egyptian mythology is really cool!
Never shake a hungry Wraith's hand, you won't live to regret it.
If at first you don't succeed, try Thor. If you still don't succeed , try Carter. Or you could just blow everything up and forget the whole thing happened.
I wouldn't be suprised if God was on the highest plane of existence.
If a power-hungry enemy is coming your way, tis always good to have a cloak at hand. Shame they didn't send it back 10 seasons!
And the moral of the story ... Astria Porta really translates to Pandora's Box - don't open!

[Cpn. Chris(tine) Bowman]

Archeology is the surest way to immortality.

It's not cheating if your spouse has been taken over by an alien.

Death is a temporary inconvenience.

Wraith cuisine is very limited.

[Lid]

Replicators will never go away completely. If they do, just wait because the IOA in it's infinite wisdom will do something REALLY stupid!!!

Like hiring them to work security for stargate command.

[Muh_tuttles]

If you don't have a first name, you die.

The person who acts strange will almost inevitably die.

Bullets go in the pointy ends of knives.

Crazy archaeologists who believe that the pyramids were built by aliens are great negotiators - then again, they have a tendancy to be rather moral.

If you buy a red phone you should be able to speak to the president.

you can make stargates with toasters

[Seperated@Birth?]

Gene Therapy = cool

Retrovirus = not cool