Rush - What is he really after?

[garhkal]

Perhaps he feels knowing their 'rules' and therefore decending him when he DOES interfere is a suitable pennance for helping out his wife, due to him ignoring her when she needed it most.

[The Shrike]

Rush believes the end justifies the means, therefore I agree that his goal is to uncover the secrets of ascension, then to ascend himself with the ultimate goal of bringing back his wife, consequences be damned. I wouldn't even be surprised if he ignored his wife on her death bed because her cancer was incureable, and every second he spent with her represented another second he would be further away from the one thing that had the power to change that reality...an ascended being.

I don't think he'll succeed in the end, but I'll bet he gives the ancients fits trying.

[pipi]

Perhaps he feels knowing their 'rules' and therefore decending him when he DOES interfere is a suitable pennance for helping out his wife, due to him ignoring her when she needed it most.

My understanding of how the ascention rules work is that it only applies if you were guided to ascention by another Ancient in their collective group. Cause these rules don't apply in the Ori galaxy and there could very well be physical limits as to the reach of the Ancient's influence or power. Destiny being dozens of galaxies away could be out of reach of the Ancient's rules. And if you self ascend yourself in your own way, I don't think they will mess with you. There are bound to be other self-ascended beings that are not Ancients, it'd be a bold statement to say the Ancients hold a monopoly or dictatorship over the ascended spacetime.

If Rush seeks ascention solely to help his wife, he needs psychiatric help and attend sensitivity training.

[ladypredator]

...Rush has been very clear in Time:

RUSH: Of course, the Ancients evolved to a point where their physical bodies were no longer necessary, found a way for consciousness to become immortal.
WALLACE: D'you really think that's possible?
RUSH (determinedly): I know it is.
(He pauses for a moment, then smiles awkwardly at Eli.)
RUSH: Maybe not for you and me, but that idea - it's the reason why I ended up here.
WALLACE (hesitantly): So, you think if we learn enough, that-that somehow, somewhere out there, we could discover how it's done?
(Rush doesn't answer for a long time but finally half turns towards Eli.)
RUSH: We have to make it through the day.

Rush's motivation to work on the Icarus Project was clearly to find out how the Ancients ascended so that he could save his wife. It was the only way he could keep Gloria from dying, so he threw himself into his work (and yes, he probably also did it because he couldn't emotionally deal with watching her die, that's not an uncommon reaction). But it was to save her.

Then she dies before he can solve the Ninth Chevron (and he was with her when she died, he says that he was there in the final scene with her in "Human" - he's there in his memory/dreamscape because he was there when it really happened).

After that, I think he's so devastated by failing to solve the project in time to save her, that he feels like he HAS to finish it now. It's all he has left. As he says, the man that he was died with her. He feels like he's lost everything except the work, so he buries his grief into an obsessive need to complete the project. To gain the knowledge he was searching for. That's his motivation. It's why he took the last chance he had to get to Destiny and it's why he has no desire to return to Earth. There's nothing but painful memories left for him on Earth, why would he want to return?

I think that he's just slowly starting to heal. The trauma of the alien abduction and the connection that he forms with Chloe in the aftermath is really important. Chloe is the first person since Gloria's death that he forms an emotional connection with and that is the first break in the shell he's put around himself. Chloe needed him and he responded to her with gentleness and kindness - you see that in how they interact in "Divided." She wouldn't be that loyal if he hadn't been really good to her.

My feeling is that he needed to have that conversation with Gloria, even if it was only his memory of Gloria, about not letting her death shut him off from people. He needed to hear from her in some way that it's OK for him to start making connections to people again. Sure, it's only a 'dreamscape' version of her, but he must know that she'd feel that way. They loved each other a lot - and I think he finally manages to say goodbye to her at the end of "Human." He's finally able to say how much he loved her and how much he misses her and how he'll never forget her, but also start to accept that he can begin to let other people into his life again.

Healing from severe grief is a long process and a painful one. I hope they continue to let him heal - it would be a wonderful journey to see the character of Rush go on.

[pipi]

Even if Rush genuinely loves his wife the fact that he didn't even bother to give the dream version of her a hug, kiss or say nice things to her which would have taken only a fraction of his busy dream life, tells me that they were not very intimate. He would be a better man if he learns to show emotions, and I'd hope finding a woman to marry would teach him some life lessons. Beauty and the Beast. He is still a Beast. Some people never change.

[JustAnotherVoice]

Even if Rush genuinely loves his wife the fact that he didn't even bother to give the dream version of her a hug, kiss or say nice things to her which would have taken only a fraction of his busy dream life, tells me that they were not very intimate. He would be a better man if he learns to show emotions, and I'd hope finding a woman to marry would teach him some life lessons. Beauty and the Beast. He is still a Beast. Some people never change.

The whole dream sequence shows us a VERY self loathing version of Rush. He's already shown us (Air) how much difficulty he has dealing with her death, and in this episode, he explained to us that he actively avoided her last few days alive. Can you really blame Rush for ignoring her in the dream sequence, simply because he chose to remember her in her prime, rather than as a pale shadow of what she once was?

Having genuine affection for his wife is not mutually exclusive from having genuine hatred for cowering from the situation and the guilt of leaving her to die alone, and that self loathing is a VERY powerful motivator to stay the hell away from his dream sequence wife. Every time he looked at her (in his dream), he was probably hating himself that much more, feeling the emptiness in his life that much more, and knowing that he can never change what happened all the more painfully.

If you are more stoic when facing the slow, torturous death of a loved one, good for you, but not all of us are made from the same stuff, so don't judge the man too harshly.

[FallenAngelII]

Rush's motivation is to never return home. He doesn't want Destiny going back to Earth, he wants it all for himself. He'd do anything to stay on the ship, and he'd do even more to make sure he can do whatever he wants on the ship.

Xerox of the standard anti-Rush post.

Pray tell, do you have any actual, you know, evidence to prove that this is his main motivation? I mean, the "He doesn't want to go home"-thing at least has some credence seeing as how the characters on the show have themselves speculated this.

But that he wants to hog Destiny for himself? Where is this coming from?!

[carmencatalina]

Even if Rush genuinely loves his wife the fact that he didn't even bother to give the dream version of her a hug, kiss or say nice things to her

I've thought about this - what if you were given a "dream" that you knew was a dream, and there was someone you loved and lost, and you knew it wasn't really them? I'm not sure how I would react - but it would be torture, you know? It isn't really them, just your imagining of them. It is actually rather a cruel thing. And how is kissing or hugging what you know is only a manufactured image of the person that you know is dead going to help anything?

Again, I don't know what I would do.

[wargrafix]

he wants to tap him some chloe.

[Sami_]

So we see that Rush was working hard on the 9th chevron project while his wife was dying. He never really spent enough time with her in the end. It seems to me like he doesn't want all that work he did while his wife was dying to be in vain. Like he has to follow through with the mission at all costs otherwise neglecting his wife all that time would have been for nothing.

I think you hit the nail on the head, nothing short of a world/galaxy changing discovery will satisfy Rush now in my opinion.

[Lord Hurin]

But that he wants to hog Destiny for himself? Where is this coming from?!

Agreed. I think he wants to unlock its' secrets, sure. He can't do it alone though, even he knows that.

As far as the character goes, some people came away from this episode thinking "the ******! he wasn't with her near enough!" and despising Rush more. I'm the opposite; now we have a reason for him being a broken, miserable man. My hope now is that he's starting to get past it and won't be like this to such a degree as the show goes on.

[Merlin's_Legacy]

Having been in a situation similar to Rush's and watching someone very close to me die by inches, in terrible pain the whole time, I think I now have a better understanding of Rush's actions in the series so far.

Granted it's a bit hard to filter the "real" events from the "changed" events in the dream, but I got the impression that Rush dearly loved his wife and felt like she was really the better part of him. Gloria's mother apparently died of cancer so he had already seen her in pain and how it affected her. He dealt with his emotion the only way he knew how: By immersing himself in the Icarus project. Rush promised Gloria that he would be there for her when she passed, but he broke that promise. He was actually on Icarus when she died.

That guilt can be crushing, and coupled with losing someone so close they're like a part of you, you don't come through that unchanged. On top of the pain and guilt the absolute fact of your own mortality comes crashing down on you. You start looking for something, anything, that can give your life meaning. Some way to leave your mark on history or improve mankind. I know in my own case, I spent a good deal of time walking back and forth across the line that separates sanity and insanity. Anybody within reach becomes a target for your frustration...

Now throw into this mix that Rush has been given knowledge of Ascension and that Ascended beings can make their own reality. If you're already irrational and have stopped listening to your conscience then you run headlong toward any promise of happiness and stability, or even of just something different.

Rush is running from himself and from his pain while at the same time desperately searching for meaning and potential happiness.

I didn't particularly like Rush in the beginning, but I understand him better after this episode and can't help but forgive him since I see pieces of myself in him.

[pipi]

he wants to tap him some chloe.

u sick lil bish.

[EllieVee]

Even if Rush genuinely loves his wife the fact that he didn't even bother to give the dream version of her a hug, kiss or say nice things to her which would have taken only a fraction of his busy dream life, tells me that they were not very intimate. He would be a better man if he learns to show emotions, and I'd hope finding a woman to marry would teach him some life lessons. Beauty and the Beast. He is still a Beast. Some people never change.

Except he knew it was a dream. I think what people have to remember is in the conversations he has in Human, he's essentially talking to himself. Gloria doesn't say he's callous, he's telling himself he's been callous. He says to Jackson at the beginning he doesn't want to go through it again (or words to that effect). It's very clear that he loved her very much.

Having been in a situation similar to Rush's and watching someone very close to me die by inches, in terrible pain the whole time, I think I now have a better understanding of Rush's actions in the series so far.

Granted it's a bit hard to filter the "real" events from the "changed" events in the dream, but I got the impression that Rush dearly loved his wife and felt like she was really the better part of him. Gloria's mother apparently died of cancer so he had already seen her in pain and how it affected her. He dealt with his emotion the only way he knew how: By immersing himself in the Icarus project. Rush promised Gloria that he would be there for her when she passed, but he broke that promise. He was actually on Icarus when she died.

He says he was there when she died. What do you have that's different to that?

[SG7]

I see it as Rush trying to escape from the reality of the situation. He threw himself into his work during the final months of his wife's life as a method of "coping" with his loss by not dealing with it - he quite literally left his problems several million miles (light years?) behind. The survivor's guilt that has been plaguing him turned him into the bitter, angry, self loathing man we knew until this episode, and now that he's (apparently) finally had a cathartic experience, maybe we can see who the real Nicholas Rush is.

We saw in the episode where his wife says "It's back". Basically saying that they have been around that bend once before. And perhaps he was having to deal with going through that a second time with his wife, and being reminded for a second time that he is powerless to be able to do anything for her. Much like on Destiny in their current state. Right now they are powerless to be able to get back home. He must struggle with the fact that he wants to remain on Destiny however has no control over the ship.