Favorite SG1 Quotes

[Eye Of Ra]

Secrets


O'Neill: It's 'O'Neill', with two L's. There's another Col. O'Neil with only one L, and he has no sense of humor at all

[RedDevil]

Definetly. I also like the bit in Tangent when he wonders how to get Jack and Teal'c out of their ship after they lose control of it.

Daniel: Can't you just beam them out?
Jacob: Beam them out? Who am I, Scotty??

Indeed

This one from Avenger 2.0 was quite funny too:
Col. O'Neill: Felger's virus? I told you not to trust that brown nosin' little weasal!

[Jae'a]

Indeed

This one from Avenger 2.0 was quite funny too:
Col. O'Neill: Felger's virus? I told you not to trust that brown nosin' little weasal!

Felger: He doesn't know I'm standing here, does he? 0.o;

[Arya]

I'm not sure this is exact, but from Urgo-
Urgo: You want me to be dull, I can be dull. What a nice shade of gray, would you loke some wite bread with mayanas, how about watching some golf on television?

[LtColCarter]

Dr. Jackson: You can see me?
Nick Ballard: Yes, Daniel, I can see you.
Dr. Jackson: [exasperated] Why didn't you say something?!
Nick Ballard: You're not real, so it doesn't mean anything.
Dr. Jackson: No, no, I'm real! You're not hallucinating.
Nick Ballard: Hallucinations always say that.

[Rocket_Scientist]

The Other Guys

Jack: Why, look, everybody...he's got Coombs with him!

[Lucycat]

RED SKY
Jack: Carter, what just happened?
Villager: The eye of Oden goes dim.
Carter: Some sort of shift in the light frequency.
Jack: Good. Thought I was having a stroke.

[Lucycat]

RED SKY

Carter: Sir, I was thinking...
O'neill: I'd be surprised if you ever stopped.

[Eye Of Ra]

Maternal Instinct

Jackson: The monk is someone who has taken up curatorship.
O'Neill: Kind of janitor?
Jackson: More of a guide.
O'Neill: An usher?

[LtColCarter]

Maternal Instinct

Jackson: The monk is someone who has taken up curatorship.
O'Neill: Kind of janitor?
Jackson: More of a guide.
O'Neill: An usher?

[fems]

BAUER
I've just been going through your mission reports.

O'NEILL
Yes, Sir?

BAUER
They're satisfactory, although in the future, you might want to include bullet-point summaries in each section. Makes for an easier read.

O'NEILL
Bullet-point summaries…

BAUER
Is there a problem with that?

O'NEILL
General, I realise the format of my reports is of vital importance and if you'd like, some day we can get together and talk about fonts and margins...

[Eye Of Ra]

Serpent's Song

O'Neill: What do you want?
Apophis: To live.
O'Neill: Can't help you there. That's between you and your god. Oh, wait a minute! You are your god! That's a problem

[Ayanna]

Jack: Well, this was an intergalactic waste of time

[Sparky She-Demon]

Apophis: I am dying.
Jack: My heart bleeds for you.
Apophis: You lie poorly.

[ErikaMariia]

There are so many favourites, but here's one that cracks me up every time:

Dr. Jackson: Hathor?
Hathor: Yes.
Col. O'Neill:You've heard of her?
Dr. Jackson: Hathor was the Egyptian goddess of fertility, inebriety, and music.
Col. O'Neill: Sex, drugs, and rock n' roll?
Dr. Jackson: In a manner of speaking.

From season 1 Hathor.