Things you would not want to hear over your Radio (SG-1)

[Col. Shadow Quinn]

Felger: I had sex with Emerson's wife last night.
*Odyssey comes to Felgers and starts firing at him. Felger starts running away faster than the Odyssey, Odysssey gives chase.*
Me: Uhhhh
SG-1: Uhhhhh
Hammond: Walter, marry me.
Everybody: It's the end of the world, RUN AWAY!

[Commander Jumper]

:Carter!!!! what should I do if I'm being surrounded by beautiful native women who happen to be cannibals???
: SIR!!!!do you need my help???
:No I'm good Carter..........but when they decide to eat me.......feel free to step in at any time....preferably before the eating part.....

[Elles]

Jack: is Daniel's head supposed to be removable???

Sam: Is Jack's brain supposed to seep out his ear???? Wait that's blood...never mind

Jack: I think Daniel's dead...what do you think
Teal'c:his eyes are not covered in x marrks and his tongue is not hanging out his mouth.......he connot be dead.
Sam: that's it Teal'c we're taking Cartoon Network off your cable package.

Daniel: Hey cool! It's a cuddly little yellow-brown pokemon with red cheeks. Let's check the pokedex...
Ash Ketchum: Pikachu! Use thundershock!
*sizzling sounds*
Carter: Oh my god! Ash killed Daniel!
Teal'c: You b***ard!

[gatebuster64]

Jack: get back to the gate, we're under fire!
what Daniel hears on his radio: ok, that'll be two fries, a chili cheese dog, and one kee-lime slushy. your total is $5.99

[Commander Jumper]

Daniel: Hey cool! It's a cuddly little yellow-brown pokemon with red cheeks. Let's check the pokedex...
Ash Ketchum: Pikachu! Use thundershock!
*sizzling sounds*
Carter: Oh my god! Ash killed Daniel!
Teal'c: You b***ard!

*Giggles*

: MY DREAM HAS COME TRUE!!!! Ash can I aquire you Name in this book???
Ash: Sure Teal'c!!!! if I can have your Autograph
:Indeed

:Guys I think Teal'c got into Kelso's weed stash
Kelso: Dang!!! I knew I shouldn't have left it in Daniel's napsack

:Jack I think Sam got drugged
Dora The Explorer: where are we going
Boots: to the Stargate
Dora: Where are we going???
Boots: to the Stargate
Dora: where are we going???
Boots and Dora: Toooo the Stargate!!! Yeah!!

: Jack I think they're all on drugs
: Hey sexy
: I know I am

: Yup they're stoned!!! Look a purple Elephant

[Colonel Sharp]

Jack: Whats that noise?

Daniel: #@!$ #$!@ !$#*!!! Run for your lives!!! ITS A GIANT MARSHMELLOW MAN!!!

[Linkinparkgundam]

Teal'c: Col. O'Niell, do you know what my favorite time of the day is?
Jack: No I don't. What is Teal'c?
Teal'c: FOOD TIME!
Jack: Foodtime?
Teal'c *in a Caboose voice*: Yes! Foodtime! And then Naptime! Then FOODNAPTIME!
Sam: Yes, you team killing a$$bite!
Daniel: Oh, look! Can you see the Friey death that I will rain down on the unsuspecting poeple of this planet! MUHAHAHAHA!
Jack:Team killing a$$bite? What the-
Daniel/O'Mally: Yes! Vengence and Volience to all HAHAHAHA!
Teal'c: Yep, Foodtime!
Sam: shut up Jack, no one likes you.
Jack: *in a Caboose voice* I like me.


If you have seen Red vs.Blue. Then you know all about Foodnaptime, and O'Mally

[Pharaoh Atem]

Sam: Sir I think it would be wise if we took up their offer of spending the night

Jack: Well that depends, did you bring your special overnight bag?

Sam: Uh my what sir?

Jack: You know our special bag...

Daniel: Excuse me do you guys know this is an OPEN frequency?

Teal'c: That matters not Daniel Jackson, please continue O'Neill. Inquiring minds want to know, what is the special bag?

Buhahahahahahahahah

[Elles]

*sound of house dropping*
Jack: Hey guys... I've stumbled across Munchkin Land and there's this Wicked Witch that's really pissed off at me. Can someone come help?
Daniel: Jack, we talked about stopping the Wizard of Oz references.
Wicked Witch: You took my ruby slippers! You deserve to be smitted! *smites Jack*
Jack: Ahhhhh!

[Commander Jumper]

*sound of house dropping*
Jack: Hey guys... I've stumbled across Munchkin Land and there's this Wicked Witch that's really pissed off at me. Can someone come help?
Daniel: Jack, we talked about stopping the Wizard of Oz references.
Wicked Witch: You took my ruby slippers! You deserve to be smitted! *smites Jack*
Jack: Ahhhhh!

*giggles*

[Pharaoh Atem]

Daniel - so now that jack is not longer here what do you say

Sam- excuse me

teal'c- Daniel jackson i thought we discussed this already

Mitchell- hey hands off my girl

vala -Daniel after everything that happen last night

radios go silent

vala- what???

Daniel- take your hand off the button

hear a little giggle

[Elles]

Cameron: Damn it Daniel! There are regulations against this for a reason!
Daniel: And since were you one to follow regulations?
Cameron: Since Vala and I...
Daniel: ... Cam?

[Lilith]

random cow: MOO!!!!!
Daniel: Help!! I'm being attacked by a rabid cow!!!
random girl: I'll save you!!
Daniel: Crap!! Now I'm being chased by a freakin female hercules who wants to get in my pants!!!
Jack: Who doesn't?
Daniel: What?
Jack: Get in your pants. Who doesn't want to get into your pants?
Daniel: Well if you don't hurry up, you won't be getting inot them anytime soon!!
Sam: Uh Sir? Is there something we should know?

[Jumper One]

My first post in two weeks!
It really isn't a spoiler... but just to be safe...

Spoiler:

*Jack going offworld after not having done so in a long time*

Sam: Sir, we have incoming! Dial Earth!
Jack: Um...here's the thing....I..umm...
Sam: Sir?
Jack: I forgot Earth's address, okay?! I didn't want to say anything...

[pong]

Daniel : Okay Teal'c, it is your turn, since you're eager to do it.
Teal'c : Very well... stand back and take cover (fixes karaoke mike) If you want my body, and you think I'm sexy, come on baby let me know...
Daniel : Um.. I think you gotta stick with the radio.