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things you would not want to hear on the Atlantis intercom

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    #526
    McKay: This is McKay, I'm testing the atlantis internal securty
    City automated: Intruder alert, alert canceled
    City automated: Intruder aler, interuder canceled
    City automated: All intruders please report to the detention area

    Sheppard: I dont think it works right...
    McKay: Ya think?!
    Give me one orion class warship, a ZPM, a skeleton crew and as many drones as the ship can possibly carry...and I'll show you how "Hallowed the Ori" are.

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      #527
      McKay: OH GOD! HELP! HELP ME, AHH There's something (sshhhhh) somekind of.. AAH!! It's eating my leg! Uggh... chewing on my leg... oh the humanity... look at the bones!! The bones, uhhh!!! NOoo!!!! No, no!! Ahh, help!! OH THE HUMANITY (screams of pain). Ah it's biting, ughhh (more screams of pain), devouring my liver!! Ahh!!! Nooo! I'm going to die!! I'm going to die!!! Why did I come here? oh why!?!?! (screams of horrible pain and blood gurgling)... silence.

      Everyone:...
      My heart beats in 13/8.

      Comment

        #528
        "Good morning, Atlantis, this is DJ HotRod McKay, and this is my new morning show, Sea Breeze! I'll be with you from seven to eleven this morning and every morning, and today I'd like to start off with a personal favourite of mine by Celine Dion."

        Comment

          #529
          Originally posted by SionnachOghma View Post
          "Good morning, Atlantis, this is DJ HotRod McKay, and this is my new morning show, Sea Breeze! I'll be with you from seven to eleven this morning and every morning, and today I'd like to start off with a personal favourite of mine by Celine Dion."
          Sheppard: It's alright, Atlantis, HotRod has been... dealt with.

          *Choking sounds from McKay in background*

          Sig courtesy of RepliCartertje

          Comment

            #530
            Attention everyone Colonel Sheppard has died
            sigpic
            *Thanks aaobuttons*

            Comment

              #531
              Weir: In light of recent Wraith attacks, all off-world travel has been restricted until futher notice.

              -noise in the background-

              Please disregard that last announcement. The Wraith are no longer a major concern. Please evaccuate to the nearest jumper. The Asurans are on their way.
              I'm a Slasher. I slash. It's what I do.
              sigpic

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                #532
                this is carter i am taking over the Atlantis expedition until weir is able to return

                (then you here a thud)

                Keller to control room Rodney passed out again while listen to the recording he made of colonial carters announcement this morning
                https://twitter.com/#!/Solar_wind84

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                  #533
                  "Effective immediately Weyland-Yutani has been appointed civilian contractor for the expedition"
                  "The Clarke Postulate - One's ability to correctly explain advanced theoretical thermodynamics as applied to string theory within a fictional context is directly related to one's ability to cook the perfect lemon chicken with mushrooms in a nice garlic butter sauce. While some use this unexpected correlation as proof of intelligent design, I believe that its all about the person's choice of mushrooms.

                  I also believe that there is a tear developing in the space-time continuum which if left uncheck will allow Microsoft to become a world power. I suspect that unless we all download Firefox 3 on the same day, thus sealing the tear, that life as we know it may be over and children will have their teddy bears and blankets ripped mercilessly from their arms.

                  Comment

                    #534
                    Weir: Attention all female staff and Rodney...Colonel Sheppard is experiencing the Pon Farr, please remain in your quarters...with the doors locked and your water hoses ready.
                    "The Clarke Postulate - One's ability to correctly explain advanced theoretical thermodynamics as applied to string theory within a fictional context is directly related to one's ability to cook the perfect lemon chicken with mushrooms in a nice garlic butter sauce. While some use this unexpected correlation as proof of intelligent design, I believe that its all about the person's choice of mushrooms.

                    I also believe that there is a tear developing in the space-time continuum which if left uncheck will allow Microsoft to become a world power. I suspect that unless we all download Firefox 3 on the same day, thus sealing the tear, that life as we know it may be over and children will have their teddy bears and blankets ripped mercilessly from their arms.

                    Comment

                      #535
                      "Good morning, Atlantians. The latest news on Anna Nicole Smith has just arrived from the Milky Way Galaxy!"

                      Comment

                        #536
                        "Gooooodddd Morning Atlantis! I'm Adrian Cronauer with your morning weather update...The weather out there is hot and sh***y, with continued hot and sh***y in the afternoon. Tomorrow a chance of continued crappy weather. A pissy weather front coming down from the north. Basically it's hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut. Here a little riddle for you. What's the difference between the army and the cub scouts? Ahhhnnn. Cub scouts don't have heavy artillery."
                        "The Clarke Postulate - One's ability to correctly explain advanced theoretical thermodynamics as applied to string theory within a fictional context is directly related to one's ability to cook the perfect lemon chicken with mushrooms in a nice garlic butter sauce. While some use this unexpected correlation as proof of intelligent design, I believe that its all about the person's choice of mushrooms.

                        I also believe that there is a tear developing in the space-time continuum which if left uncheck will allow Microsoft to become a world power. I suspect that unless we all download Firefox 3 on the same day, thus sealing the tear, that life as we know it may be over and children will have their teddy bears and blankets ripped mercilessly from their arms.

                        Comment

                          #537
                          (talking over the sound of "it's raining men" (or anything else you can't stand)) "Attention Atlantis personnel, we can't get this stuff off the intercom. Dr's McKay and Zelenka are working on it. In the mean time we WILL procure ear muffs from the Daedalus"
                          It doesn't arrive for another month!
                          The drums, the drums, the never ending drumbeat! Open me you human fool! Open the light and summon me and receive my majesty!

                          Comment

                            #538
                            the Daedulus could do with a mahogony dashboard....

                            *singing* I-I-I like to love you baby

                            yay!! a new bottle of polish for my other bald patches, for that extra shine!!
                            sigpic

                            Comment

                              #539
                              Originally posted by chyron View Post
                              "Effective immediately Weyland-Yutani has been appointed civilian contractor for the expedition"
                              All you need to do is procure 1 live Wraith
                              The drums, the drums, the never ending drumbeat! Open me you human fool! Open the light and summon me and receive my majesty!

                              Comment

                                #540
                                Rodney: would the person that took my laptop please return it?
                                Sheppard: he means it Atlantis, he has live video feeds of EVERYthing.... *sees Teyla's 'look'* uh.... everything BUT the ladies rooms that is.... *com cuts off as Rodney yells*
                                Rodney: She hit me!!

                                ---------------

                                Weir: Would the person resposible for given Col Sheppard to the Wraith as a peace offering please report to the gateroom so Teyla can give you your rewar....err... repimind, thank you.

                                This is the Assassin's Way part 17 complete
                                "Elegant beauty is Nature. but only for the gentle and soft Flower" ~Hu Ge
                                "The one thing every new hairstylist must learn is how to do hair in a combat zone!" Bob; owner of Bob & Weave's Combat Salon in Red Dust Club, an original story currently in progress

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