things you would not want to hear on the Atlantis intercom

[Starfist]

Attention, Attention, Can Ensign Pendable please report to the gate room.
I repeat can Ensign Hex Pendable please report to the gate room...!

Your Attention Please... I'd like to entertain you with a little song...

[Gem of Tigress]

*poof*

Kavanaugh: i'm back.
*stares at him.*
Kavanaugh: I'm not here!

*poof*

[Replicator Fifth]

you know, Kavanagh might not be a bad henchman. I mean he possess the two things that make a great evil henchman, he's tenacious AND indestructible! now if I could improve his...

: O_o McKay, your talking out loud again.

oh, was I?

[Starfist]

Chuck...! What do mean be saying 'OoopppS!'

[Replicator Fifth]

Chuck: I didn't say "oops".

: then who did?

[Starfist]

(Soft female computer voice) City Auto Destruct activated. You have 15 minutes to evacuate to safe minimum distance. I repeat...

[timstro59]

(Soft female computer voice) ...*static* and to whoever owns the daedalus class chip in orbit, your left your right blinkers on

[Replicator Fifth]

Rodney: Kavanagh was bugging me all day yesterday now he is no where to be found. what happened to him?

Weir: I've assigned him to mail room duty.

Rodney: isn't our mail room... haunted?

[Replicator Fifth]

Dr. Keller: Attention Atlantis personnel! would you please stop giving Kavanagh a hard time I am far to busy to be bandaging all these paper cuts!

In the Infirmary:

Kavanagh: THOUSANDS OF TINY PAPER CUTS!!!!

Dr. Keller: I am sure it wasn't a ghost. probably someone playing tricks in the mail room.

[timstro59]

me: *thinking out loud* i hope no one notices that i disabled the stargate.
all: o_O.
me: did i say that out loud?
all *still o_O*
me: i'll just leave now. *poof*
*a few seconds pass
me: *poof* forgot my phone. *poof*

[Replicator Fifth]

me: *thinking out loud* i hope no one notices that i disabled the stargate.
all: o_O.
me: did i say that out loud?
all *still o_O*
me: i'll just leave now. *poof*
*a few seconds pass
me: *poof* forgot my phone. *poof*

All: O_o
McKay: okay I'll be uh...fixing the uh...thing thats supposed to prevent people form randomly appearing..so yeah... *walks away*
Gir: *Poof* SALTED NUTS!!! * an unending supply salted nuts fountains from the small robot's head burying the diabled gate. *Poof*

[ShipperWriter]

: Sewer's broken again.
: And the A/C's been sabotaged.
: Garbage disposal stopped working.

[timstro59]

me:*poof* how did this get here.*picks up choatic space generator*>_> <_< what?*poof*
everythings back to normal
*poof* i do not belive that would be an accurate statement.*poof*
blue alien: *poof* agreed *poof*
rush: *poof* it seems that the very fabric of the universe has started to rip itself apart.*nothing happens*
O_O
woolsey: is there anyway to fix it?
*still O_O*
rush: we are all doomed.

[Princess Awinita]

A pair of voices in Monotone: Yip yip yipyipyipyipyipyipyipyipyipyipyipyipyip.....
*two martians appear, one golden colored, the other dark blue, both look incredibly cute*
1st Yipyip (gold): OOOOOoooooOOOOoooo..... Lok, lok lok..... StarGAAAAAAAAAAaaaate, yepyepyepyepyepyep
2nd Yipyip (blue): Bok, Atlanti bok! *reads, mimics* KAWoooooooooosh!!
Both: Uhuh uhuh uhuh, yep yep yepyepyepyepyepyepyepyepyep!!!
Rodney: O.o ?

[ShipperWriter]

*coconut hooves*
: We are the knights who say ni!!!
: Umm, John, what are you doing?
: Trying to explain Monty Python to the Athosian kids.
: *headdesk*