things you would not want to hear on the Atlantis intercom

[Princess Awinita]

Caldwell: Beam me up Hermy
Hermod: what part of his brain did I take with the worm?
McKay: don't look at me your the one that's the brains of this outfit

[Mimzy]

: DRAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINAGE, Eli, you boy!
: Shut UP, you've been quoting that freaking movie all day!

[puddlejumperOZ]

Attention all personnel, our movie tonight will be Sound Of Music..enjoy!
She's kidding?
What, I like that movie
Ronan, can I borrow your pistol?

[Gem of Tigress]

Yeah, Ronon, where is your gun?

[Gate Ranger]

I'm coming.
*Ronon walks into Sam's office. And see's that it's Woolsey using Sam's voice. Twenty minutes later*
Woolsey: The movie is now Die Hard.
Yes!

[HAL2100]

Moby Dick on tha starbr'd side!

[Princess Awinita]

Scottish voice: Cap'n! Iceburge ahead!

[HAL2100]

Scottish voice: Cap'n! Iceburge ahead!

Been there done that.

[Princess Awinita]

Been there done that.

Still good anyhow

Ok here's a new one

It was wierd, this Tom Tom thing is really something, I was driving my rented car over the Golden Gate Bridge, half way across a voice went "Take a right turn" I looked at it and said "What? Nocando Hal, not that depressed really" and it replied "Really I saw Vegas" I said "Screw it stupid shutup!"
Is that why the Air Force owes the rental car company $6,400?

[HAL2100]

Shepard (From the chair while flying the city) Uh...it looks like we're lost. It seems as if Tom Tom doesn't include accurate information on the Pegasus galaxy.

[puddlejumperOZ]

Overheard on the personal coms
"How do I look John?"
"Fine Rodney, but a little less makeup would work a treat."
"Oh thanks sweetie"

[Stargate Atlantis Girl]

......wait, shh! He's coming in! Quiet, okay, ready?...and......
Rodney walks in.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!

Ahhhh!!!!!!! Oh, it's you guys, uh....thanks.

John told us to make you your favorite dinner.

Oh, really?

Yep

Lemon Chicken!!!

Ahhh!
He faints. Then wakes up an hour later.

Rodney....Rodney! You awake?

Yeah, uh, what happend?

You fainted when you came in

Oh.

[puddlejumperOZ]

"Attention all personnel, Woolsey has gone on leave and I'm in charge, Ronon, get my slippers!"
"Do you want to live?"

[Mimzy]

"Attention all personnel, Woolsey has gone on leave and I'm in charge, Ronon, get my slippers!"
"Do you want to live?"

: Rodney, get out of my chair.
: How'd YOU get here?!
: Just get out of my chair. You're not in charge.
: Wha--YES I AM!
: NO, if Woolsey's gone, then...
: THIS MAKES ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE!
: Rodney, get OUT of the damn chair!
: NO! Go back to your ship!
: If you don't move, I'm going to MAKE you.
: Oh, I'd like to see you try.
: Well, if that's the way it's going to be--
: *LOUD SCREAMS*
*BANG**CRASH**SCREAM*

[Princess Awinita]

(to Sheppard) Jim! its just a city, Jim!! Ya can't push it any faster!
Shuddup I know what i'm doing!
it's just a city Jim!
And my name's not Jim