things you would not want to hear on the SGC's intercom

[Gate Ranger]

I have sentanced SG-1 to punishment by Curling. They will have to play Curling for the rest of eternity.

No offense to all those who like Curling.

[timstro59]

Spoiler:

To be or not to be – that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles
And, by opposing, end them. To die, to sleep
No more – and by a sleep to say we end
The heartache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to – ‘tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep
To sleep, perchance to dream. Ay, there's the rub,
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause. There's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life.
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
Th’ oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office, and the spurns
That patient merit of th’ unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? Who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscovered country from whose bourn
No traveler returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all,
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pitch and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action.—Soft you now!
The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my sins remembered.

all:
why are you all staring at me.
i do believe you have just "gone all shakshpere on us".
teal'c using slang?
indeed.

[HAL2100]

"There is a man outside about a mile south of the SGC. He sent me down here to give you a message. He wants you to know that Jacob is dead and because he is gone, none of you have to stay here any longer. You're free. The man that I met is leaving the planet forever. Those of you that want to go with him should leave the temple and join him. You have until sundown to decide.

[jmoz]

Be vewwwy vewwwy quiet, we's hunting wabbits.


gotcha
*Jack runs around in a circle* My tail's on fire, my tail's on fire, my tail's on fire.

[timstro59]

*pointing staff weapon at & *
duck season! *staff points at *
rabbit season! *staff points at *
duck season! *staff points at *
rabbit season! *staff points at *
rabbit season! *staff stays pointed at *
*pulls staff over* Duck season! FIRE!!!! *staff fires and ascends*

[Mimzy]

: Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam... And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva... So tweasure your wuv.

reference green

[jmoz]

: Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam... And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva... So tweasure your wuv.

reference green

Princess Bride I think.

McKay?! What are you doing here?
I wanted to ask you should I kiss you now or after our date? *McKay leans in to kiss*
SLAP!
*snickers*
*snickers*

[Mimzy]

Princess Bride I think.

It won't let me green you

[jmoz]

It won't let me green you

Haha it's ok, you have to spread it around or something before you get an opportunity to do so again.


Hey, Teal'c buddy how are you....OH MY GOD there's a giant snake on your head!!
Where?!?!
Haha just kidding buddy.
*Teal'c rubs his tattoo* That was not funny, O'Neill.

[Mimzy]

: Nickypoo...please come out of the closet and talk to me...
Nikola: No. You hurt my pigeon's feelings.
: But what did I DO?!
*silence*
: Why is this conversation even happening?!
*gunshot*
Ashley: OMG YOU KILLED MY BF!
Druitt: Your WHAT?!
Ashley: My...uh...best...friend?
: Oops...did I do that?

[jmoz]

*Shaft music playing while he does his duties and doing dance moves*

[timstro59]

T.V.: ...and now for the newest thing in fun-time entertainment. It's the tickle me Teal'c doll.

nice.
ashley: I'll take one.
me: *whisper to ashley* run.

[Mimzy]

Ashley: My tickle-me-teal'c doesn't work!!
: That's because the real one never laughs.
: I do indeed laugh, General O'Neill.
: Oh, yeah? Prove it.
*silence*
: *banging on closet door* NICKYPOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[HAL2100]

"General Lamarque is dead."

(Which I know none of you will get without googling it.)

[jmoz]

All your base are belong to us.