Things they would never ever ever say

[Cherriey]

McKay: It was I! The brave and powerful McKay! If you want to see the bear again surrender all your lemons!

[Tealcfan]

McKay: It was I! The brave and powerful McKay! If you want to see the bear again surrender all your lemons!

Ronon: never i love my lemons like my children

[Cherriey]

Ronon: never i love my lemons like my children

McKay: Then why do they come running to me every time they have a scraped knee?

[Tealcfan]

McKay: Then why do they come running to me every time they have a scraped knee?

Ronon: you did agree to be their nanny didn't you?

[Cherriey]

Sheppard: I'd love to help you our with your Wraith problem... if only I didn't have this darn stomach ache...

[stargate barbie]

Ronon: you did agree to be their nanny didn't you?

McKay: alright, then we'll put the lemons between us, and we'll see who they go to. let the lemons choose!

[Tealcfan]

McKay: alright, then we'll put the lemons between us, and we'll see who they go to. let the lemons choose!

ronon:good idea! or we could go to lemons court

[Cherriey]

Sheppard: The lemon court is swamped! Something about the lemonade incident on the next planet over.

[stargate barbie]

McKay: They massacred my precious lemons!?! *bursts into tears*

[ReganX]

Apologies if any or all of these have already been done. I haven't read all responses yet.

Sam: *sniffling* I have an owie! I wanna go home! NOW!
Jack: Sounds like someone missed her nap.

Kinsey: Hello, my name is Bob. I'm President of the We Love Jack Club. Would you be interested in this pamphlet listing the 101 reasons why Jack O'Neill is the greatest man of our time?

Ba'al: *to Jack* What do you mean my Jaffa tried to torture you? Wait 'til I get my hands on them - heads will roll.

Hammond: *To SG-1 at the end of 'The Serpent's Lair'* You think I care that you saved the world from Apophis? You still disobeyed orders - go to your rooms.

Hammond: *To Daniel* Son, I've had a deputation from your teammates.
Daniel: What did they say?
Hammond: There's no easy way to tell you this, so I'm going to come out and say it - they like Jonas better. Is there any chance we can get Oma Desala to take you back?

[Cherriey]

McKay: They massacred my precious lemons!?! *bursts into tears*

Sheppard: Don't worry. The whole thing should clear up in a couple of millenia.

[Tealcfan]

Sheppard: Don't worry. The whole thing should clear up in a couple of millenia.

McKay: it will never be the same without my lemons at my side *sniff*

[Cherriey]

McKay: it will never be the same without my lemons at my side *sniff*

Sheppard: Sure it will! Just think about happy lemons dancing in a circle the shape of a Stargate! heh

[Tealcfan]

Sheppard: Sure it will! Just think about happy lemons dancing in a circle the shape of a Stargate! heh

McKay: i guess i feel a little better but I miss them *complete fit of crying*

[Cherriey]

McKay: i guess i feel a little better but I miss them *complete fit of crying*

Sheppard: (gives McKay a good slap) Pull yourself together, man! Do you want the lemons to see you cry?