Stargate: Horizon

[Elite Anubis Guard]

i just finished downloading this and ill read it once ive finished foruming!

[samjack4ever]

Next on Stargate:Horizon...

- Starship Lost -

Synopsis now available.

[DownFallAngel]

I did not get a chance to read it. But I did skim over the set up, and the script writing is done very well. I also, checked out the ending, and liked it (last 5-6 pages). So far, I haven't had anytime. Lately with school stuff, and now with lifeguarding.

[Jonas Quinn]

Was this episode originally written in another language, then translated into English? The language seems a little...off. When you you say things like "energy systems" instead of "power systems" it makes me wonder if you used a translation program.

Also, in a dialogue you'll say things like "is that clear to you" instead of simply "is that clear." In English, the "to you" part is understood in common usage and isn't necessary to write out, especially in dialogue. This is only one example (and probably a poor one) of the many instances where the language is just a few degrees off of what is should be. What is your first language?

Other than the structure the basic story is good, but you should really market it as a combination of Stargate, Deep Space Nine, and Enterprise. All of the details, down the Engineer with a heavy regional American accent, are obviously draw from those three series'.

P.S. It takes eight chevrons to establish an extragalactic wormhole, not seven.

[Alex Rubit]

Was this episode originally written in another language, then translated into English? The language seems a little...off. When you you say things like "energy systems" instead of "power systems" it makes me wonder if you used a translation program.

I don't think the language sounds off. On the contrary every word is carefully considered and often changed around in the dialouge until it's right. Since this is alien technolagy we can call it whatever we want to. Same goes for how we want our aliens to talk.

Other than the structure the basic story is good, but you should really market it as a combination of Stargate, Deep Space Nine, and Enterprise. All of the details, down the Engineer with a heavy regional American accent, are obviously draw from those three series'.

Now what makes you think that Major Reynolds would have a regional accent? He doesn't. Therefore he's got a brother in the SGC we might have seen before. Isn't anyone gonna pick up on that? Come on, someone should be starting to realize who this brother might be.

P.S. It takes eight chevrons to establish an extragalactic wormhole, not seven.

It would take eight chevrons usually to establish a wormhole into another galaxy, that's true. But in the pilot was stated that this is a different Stargate network, which was specially designed as a connection between two galaxies. It was mentioned when they first discovered the gate.

Just keep an eye on the following episodes, and we'll be hearing more about how these gates work and why they only use seven chevrons.

Don't worry, this show is written by people who know Stargate very well, so we don't intend to contradict anything.

[samjack4ever]

I see Alex has already replied but I'll throw in my 2p's worth seeing as I did have a hand in editing some of the script. BTW I am English

Also, in a dialogue you'll say things like "is that clear to you" instead of simply "is that clear." In English, the "to you" part is understood in common usage and isn't necessary to write out, especially in dialogue. This is only one example (and probably a poor one) of the many instances where the language is just a few degrees off of what is should be. What is your first language?

The example of the dialogue you gave "is that clear to you" is spoken by Sivea who is an Alien therefore her speech patterns will not be the same as ours. The same goes for many other characters that are not from Earth. I agree there maybe times when the dialogue doesn't sound quite right but you will be surprised how hard it is to actually write dialogue. What sounds perfectly ok when spoken aloud doesn't look right on the page.

The way the dialogue is written will no doubt change as we get better at it.

Other than the structure the basic story is good, but you should really market it as a combination of Stargate, Deep Space Nine, and Enterprise. All of the details, down the Engineer with a heavy regional American accent, are obviously draw from those three series'.

I disagree with Horizon being a stargate/DS9/enterprise crossover. I have read the next two scripts and they are Stargate. I can understand where the similarities with DS9 come from after all it is set on a space station but that's where they end...

Glad you liked the story and I hope you will read the next one 'Starship Lost'. You can read the synopsis here..

[Alex Rubit]

I guess I'll throw in another repyl myself.

It's true that it can be hard getting the dialouge right as Sam has said; also you'd be surprised how hard it really gets when you're having a tight time schedule. Since we have publishing dates for the next few episodes, it's a little like working around the clock here, because we want to meet our release dates. Our schedule is just as tight as on any television series, you could say. Working on a weekly series includes working under constant time pressure. So I better speed this up...

And regarding parallels with Deep Space Nine, which I personally love by the way (great show), the only parallel it has is a space station, but then again Babylon 5 also is set on a space station. I don't remember any Stargates on DS9. Well, there was a gateway in an episode of Season 4.

And I haven't seen a promenade or a Quark's anywhere on Horizon, the last time I walked through.

Okay, I'm just using my somewhat weird humor, but seriously, read our next episodes, and you'll find that the show will more and more develop it's own direction and style. After all we're standing only at the beginning, to quote a line from the pilot.

Since I'm running out of time, I have to go now.

I'm also glad you liked the story; and remember to keep giving us your reviews.

Thanks.

[Jonas Quinn]

Thanks for your replies, they were very well-reasoned and persuasive. Sorry if I sounded overly critical, I was just giving my honest first impression. I look forward to reading future episodes.

[Alex Rubit]

Thanks for your replies, they were very well-reasoned and persuasive. Sorry if I sounded overly critical, I was just giving my honest first impression.

We appreceate everyones feedback and honest impressions. We will take the oppinions of, what hopefully will become regular readers, very serious.

But I'm glad the replies were persuasive.

I look forward to reading future episodes.

Thanks again. And we're looking forward to hearing what you think about them.

[DownFallAngel]

You guys should get some AIM Madness going. You guys seem cool enough to talk to others online.

[samjack4ever]

You guys should get some AIM Madness going. You guys seem cool enough to talk to others online.

Hey Alex did you hear that... We seem cool Obviosuly DownFallAngel was talking about me but you can join in too ...

[Alex Rubit]

Hey Alex did you hear that... We seem cool Obviosuly DownFallAngel was talking about me but you can join in too ...

Thank you, that's very generous. But actually I was about to say the same.

Well, I guess I wasn't fast enough.


Again thanks to anyone out there who has or who will read the pilot. We hope you like it; the most difficult thing was actually finding a way of making this show different, so it wouldn't be a copy of SG-1 and Atlantis. But I personally believe that worked out quite well. It's a different show, yet it is indeed Stargate with all its qualities, including the humor. Can't have it without humor.

In time we plan to also have a forum on our homepage; you see we have a lot of things planed. Stick around and you shall see.

But for now you can post messages, or exchange thoughts and oppinions, including your feedback, here.

So I'd like to use the opportunity to thank Gateworld for letting us advertise our little production here. We're far from having our homepage as far as you guys have this one, but I see a time in the future were we will co-exist as two great fan-pages. Let's call it a vision.

So far there's a free group page set up on www.msnusers.com/stargatehorizon.

But, like I said, it's only a free group page; open for anyone to join, so don't expect anything fancy.

But, and I know I'm repeating myself, this is only the start. I personally see great things ahead. Yet another vision.

[Alex Rubit]

Well, the first regular episode of the show will be coming out in two days, and I wanted to use this opportunity to ask you all out there if you've felt that the first script was too long to read in only one week. But after all that is a two hour episode. I wasn't kidding.

Our regular episodes will be a lot shorter; between 55 to 60 pages (including the front cover and the pronounciation guide) in their current format. Also there will be some breaks in the weekly releases every now and then, to allow everyone to catch up.

I hope you'll be reading the next episode "Starship Lost". While the pilot is the origin story of how the team gets together, and in large parts has to introduce much of what is to come, this next episode will give you a much better idea of how the show itself will look. All in all we think it's a perfect script for being the first regular episode of the series.

Don't forget to give us some more reviews. I hope the pronounciation guide was helpful for some readers. Alien names are often pronounced differently than they might look on paper.

[DownFallAngel]

Why not every 10-11 episodes, take a 4-5week hiatus?

[Alex Rubit]

Why not every 10-11 episodes, take a 4-5week hiatus?

That's just about how it's going to be. Episodes 3 and 4 will be coming out this Thursday and Thursday in a week. Then there will be a two week break. No new episode on Thanksgiving.

After that episodes 5 - 7 will be coming out in December. Another break over Christmas and New Year. And then we'll plan episodes 8 - 22 in the time between early January (finally together with new episodes of SG-1 and Atlantis ) and late May. So there's going to be at least one 4-5 week break in that time. So Season One is going to run until May 2005.