Fanfic Writers' Virtual Water Cooler

[Amara D'Angeli]

I am officially way too young to start thinking about kids-- and this is self-declared, not a judgement on young mothers-- let alone actually having them. Oy. And while the parentals would be thrilled to have grandkids, my mother especially so, they'd be happy with me getting a date.

Apparently there comes a point where you're no longer too young to go on dates, but in fact too old to NOT be involved with someone. The bad news is, I'm not a party/club kind of gal, so most of the people I meet are through my friends, and my friends are like me-- they don't like to mix their social groups. So I'm mostly with the same people and there's rarely a new entrant to consider as a possible interest.

*sigh*

It doesn't help that I'm so strange... In the best possible way, of course. A lot of people don't get my sense of humor-- those who do are strictly friends. And I've always been of the opinion that my romantic relationship would have to start off as a good friendship; I've gotta trust 'em before I go out with them.


And I'm getting totally off topic... even in an off topic thread. See? Strange-ness.

I wouldn't worry overmuch about meeting someone...people happen along when you least expect it.

I'm right in the midst of child-having age, but I'm childless by choice. I'm way too selfish about my time and the things I want to accomplish in life to try adding kids into the mix. The life I want for myself post-education doesn't include kids. Instead, I've got a whole gaggle of god-children and a nephew. In fact, I've got so many god-children I had to impose a mandate on my friends. They're not allowed to fly anywhere all together. If that plane goes down, I've got more kids than anyone outside the Duggar's could handle.

Besides, I watched so many of my friends start their families young and struggle. Right now I couldn't give kids the kind of life I'd want for them.

Luckily, all my folks are pretty cool with the idea of me not having children. I have, however, invoked woman's prerogative and reserved the right to change my mind at any point.

[selene0789]

I wouldn't worry overmuch about meeting someone...people happen along when you least expect it.

I'm right in the midst of child-having age, but I'm childless by choice. I'm way too selfish about my time and the things I want to accomplish in life to try adding kids into the mix. The life I want for myself post-education doesn't include kids. Instead, I've got a whole gaggle of god-children and a nephew. In fact, I've got so many god-children I had to impose a mandate on my friends. They're not allowed to fly anywhere all together. If that plane goes down, I've got more kids than anyone outside the Duggar's could handle.

Besides, I watched so many of my friends start their families young and struggle. Right now I couldn't give kids the kind of life I'd want for them.

Luckily, all my folks are pretty cool with the idea of me not having children. I have, however, invoked woman's prerogative and reserved the right to change my mind at any point.

You are an inspiration. My best friend is already set to marry her high school sweetheart, and she's already thinking about having kids X number of years from now. We're all so young, and I can't imagine settling down so soon. It boggles my mind-- though I do envy her happiness. She's where she wants to be, and I'm not quite there yet... But for the moment, I'm with you amara. Focusing on me, and not the expectations of others.

And by focusing on me, I mean focusing on writing. Since realizing it was my happiness, I've been content to relinquish myself to my muse. And is my muse ever so pleased with that... she's *still* giggling madly.

[Amara D'Angeli]

You are an inspiration. My best friend is already set to marry her high school sweetheart, and she's already thinking about having kids X number of years from now. We're all so young, and I can't imagine settling down so soon. It boggles my mind-- though I do envy her happiness. She's where she wants to be, and I'm not quite there yet... But for the moment, I'm with you amara. Focusing on me, and not the expectations of others.

And by focusing on me, I mean focusing on writing. Since realizing it was my happiness, I've been content to relinquish myself to my muse. And is my muse ever so pleased with that... she's *still* giggling madly.

Muses just love being allowed to run amok, don't they?

There's an old saying - life is what happens when you're busy making plans. I've enjoyed myself so much as my twenties have just flown by. I've seen and done things I never thought I might when I was planning out my path when I was in high school. If I'd have gone the way of my plans I'd be through with my residency and I'd be a forensic pathologist right now. Probably married. Probably with kids.

Instead, I've attended four colleges (and had nine - count them nine-courses of study, had a host of jobs that run the gamut from phone sex operator (gasp!) to business manager, traveled, been in debt, made more money than a person of my age (at the time) should have any real right to, learned to live comfortably, been engaged, dated bastards, learned two languages, met and befriended people so far outside my usual circles it's mind-blowing, found passions and hobbies, learned to love myself, and figured out how to be happy.

Even on bad days, taking a few moments to reflect on the odd course I've taken can lighten my mood considerably. I certainly haven't taken the easy way to anything but I've learned the journey is so much more important than the destination.

So I try to not rule anything out and keep an open mind. And, so far, so good! (Even when the bad stuff happens!)

[Gatefan1976]

I (well, Mrs GF at least) did not have our first until we were 28, so I wouldn't worry about kids

[Amara D'Angeli]

I (well, Mrs GF at least) did not have our first until we were 28, so I wouldn't worry about kids

I've heard my friends who have waited say how much sweeter it was when the anticipation had an opportunity to build.

I think kids with slightly older parents are lucky - at least I feel like my siblings and I were. Our parents were more stable because they had more direction by the time we came along. I watched the things some of my friends with young parents experienced and discovered the approximate ten years my parents waited compared to most of my peers' parents made all the difference in the world!

[Gatefan1976]

What made you think we had direction.............

I do think however that because it happened later both of us had a chance to learn more about ourselves as people and live our own semi-independant lives for awhile. Mrs GF and I have been togeather for 16 years now, our eldest is 8 and we have been married for 6 years now. There were no expectations, no pressure on either side and I think thats why in it's own rather strange way, it works for us

[Amara D'Angeli]

What made you think we had direction.............

I do think however that because it happened later both of us had a chance to learn more about ourselves as people and live our own semi-independant lives for awhile. Mrs GF and I have been togeather for 16 years now, our eldest is 8 and we have been married for 6 years now. There were no expectations, no pressure on either side and I think thats why in it's own rather strange way, it works for us

Direction might have been too strong a word...

No expectations and no pressure is a lovely way to move through things - especially since we have no way of knowing what life is going to throw at us.

[Princess Awinita]

How this thread went from a chat on how we make our own plots and stories with our characters and how we make our characters to how we grew up is beyond me

[SF_and_Coffee]

How this thread went from a chat on how we make our own plots and stories with our characters and how we make our characters to how we grew up is beyond me

It's the Water Cooler. There is no off-topic... because there's no topic!

[Gatefan1976]

How this thread went from a chat on how we make our own plots and stories with our characters and how we make our characters to how we grew up is beyond me

Weeeelllll......
One could argue that as many characters are drawn from our own experiences, our childhood does shape them as well

[Amara D'Angeli]

How this thread went from a chat on how we make our own plots and stories with our characters and how we make our characters to how we grew up is beyond me

Not sure it matters much if several people are engaged in the conversation. Especially considering we were talking about myriad other things before we were talking about plot design...

Of course, if you had more to say on the plot subject, goodness knows you're free to continue. It's the nice thing about non-linear conversations such as those on message boards.

It's the Water Cooler. There is no off-topic... because there's no topic!

Yay for off-topic chatter. It's nice getting to know folks!

[Gatefan1976]

I have no plot, I seem to have misplaced it years ago

[Amara D'Angeli]

I have no plot, I seem to have misplaced it years ago

No plot, no problem...right?

[Seaboe Muffinchucker]

Then we had number two, Michael. Oh, I ate my words. He did not sleep through the night until almost two.

My younger nephew was similar. My sister and her husband originally planned on three, but stopped after C was born (and she says if he'd come first, he might've been an only). I once said that he didn't reliably sleep through the night until he was four (he was about 16 when I said this) and my sister's response was "he still doesn't reliably sleep through the night, but it's not my problem any more."

He's the youngest of my nieces and nephews, at 21 (the others are 22, 24 & 25)

Seaboe

[Gatefan1976]

No plot, no problem...right?

I do have the occasional flash of plot, but it is a little thing that affects me. A slight disorder of the stomach makes it cheat. It may be an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, a fragment of an underdone potato. There's more of gravy than of grave about you, whatever you are!!!