Fic help.

[fems]

Today only got long when you showed up.

Now, can we cut the snark and interact like adults, please? […]

Bottom line: the map isn't terrible. Want a better one? Make one. It's that simple.

You’re right, I did interpret your tone and phrasing as snarky (and condescending) and I only made the remark as the rest of your posts still held the same tone despite your mention of it earlier. I do apologize if you misinterpreted mine though, as I did not mean to elicit snideness from you. Like you said, it’s difficult to interpret tone from fora and perhaps my directness combined with a cultural/language barrier attributed to that.

As you said, you were aware of Earth’s location on the map as was I. By indicating it was wrong, one would only have to google to see what I meant and draw their conclusions.

I was merely trying to suggest other options but it appears you are convinced of your view, so I would like to propose we simply agree to disagree.

As for the map, I have been working on several fanfic projects and am thinking of creating a map that would work with my interpretation of canonical material.

Ugh, Fic Help? Well at the moment i've got the creativness (working on another 'idea' sure) just not the motivation. Or focus. (ie: ideas for other projects just don't seem to be working out).

Can anyone help? Any advice?

For me it really depends on the mood I’m in. There are days that I just keep staring at the screen without anything popping into my head until it’s close to midnight/deadline and I just force myself to start and suddenly it’s early morning and I’ve finished my chapter (and am quite pleased with it as well). But there are other times that I just go and do something completely different or read fic and generally avoid opening the document. Or when I want to write but unsure of what or how to write it, I just try to sit/lie back and picture the scene in my mind. It usually works.

Fems, SP....your discussion might be better served as a private message to each other.

I don’t think that will be necessary (and I don’t think I can send PMs yet). I do apologize if we went too off-topic, I was merely trying to have a healthy discussion.

I appreciate the thought, fems...I don't really want him to be in service to Ra (and I acknowledge that this device has canon background -nice example with Bynar). I want him to be an independent lord of a backwater system (oh -maybe 5 useful planets). Not enough that he is a player in the grand scheme. He rose to power between 100 and 500 AD, and aquired a queen shortly thereafter, transporting slaves to his system (still working out the timing). My main concern was that I not have to schedule the exodus over years or decades of travel, and that he is off the radar of more powerful system lords. One of the planets has a gate, but by the time my goa'uld is removing slaves, the Giza gate is buried and the Antartic gate is encased in ice.

For one of my fics, I used a similar concept concerning the isolated planets. I just didn’t go into the details of when and how my Goa'uld had transported the slaves, although she did have a pact with Ba’al. He was one of few who was actually aware of her existence, the other System Lords didn’t know/care and she’d managed to stay under their radar for centuries. It helped that she had a source for prim’tas, so that she was basically self-sufficient. I didn’t use a designation or exact location, I simply picked a name from the myths surrounding her and placed her in a quadrant of space (no gate on the planet but she had ships).

Everyone seems to have given a general idea of travel in these vessels (and I know we are all discussing something that resides outside of current technology facts, so I'm flexible).

I’m just wondering but is it necessary to actually discuss the distance, means of transportation and exact location of the planet in your fic? You’re using a ha’tak for your minor lord, right? According to the Stargate Wikia, which you’re basing the speed on (as would I, since there are no other sources), it can carry about 2000 Jaffa. Since the minimal crew is twelve, I’m assuming that means the rest of the Jaffa are there to serve their lord and not necessarily needed to fly the ship/protect the Goa'uld. So would that and the cargo capacity be enough room for your planet’s (starting) population? Otherwise it might be best to drop the logistics and have the SGC (or whoever you’re going to use) make assumptions about it, if you still want to include some of the details.

Thanks SF -and thanks for pondering the math on the lightspeed. In my head I think I'm going to place it somewhere between Machello's world and Cal Mah (on that map). If any other possible problems that I haven't thought of blip the radar, let me know (like this is another major lord's territory).

In that case, you would probably want to avoid Ma’chello’s area too much, because of his attitude towards Goa'uld and all of his inventions. I don’t think he’d be capable of doing all that work if he was in/near the domain of a Goa'uld. And Cal Mah is supposed to be a relatively isolated planet…

Spoiler:

When K'tano chose an isolated forested world to raise his army of Rebel Jaffa in the fight against false gods, he named the planet Cal Mah, a place of sanctuary and a free world for all Jaffa. The simple training camps served as a temporary Rebel base until the planet was attacked from the air by Yu's mothership. The Rebel base was destroyed and the Rebel Jaffa abandoned the planet and fled through the stargate.

Oh! forgot to say:

Still having issues describing action sequences, and not letting my romance turn harlequin. GAH!

I agree that those things can be difficult. The best thing that works for me in such situations is picturing the situation in my mind while/before writing it. Then go over it again (several times) and see if it flows. As for the romance… It can be tricky. You don’t want it to be harlequin-ish, but it shouldn’t be clinical either. Not too racy, or at least I try to find a balance between the two in my fics. Don’t want it to be porn-like but the scene should still convey the feelings/emotions.

~

As for the pov hopping, I am guilty of that. I do a lot of pov hopping, sometimes even alternating between paragraphs. But I like doing it, because like WraithRichard I like omniscience. I need my readers to be all-knowing at times because it works great for angst, especially when people misinterpret each other. I’ve tried sticking to one pov and do sometimes, but mostly I alternate throughout scenes/chapters.

Just a few weeks ago I was discussing it with the person I beta for, as we were discussing povs and stuff. We actually tried rewriting one of my scenes to make it one pov and it just didn’t have the same effect.

I only use scene breaks if the actual scene changes. For the alternating povs I just show/tell it by writing it Sam-ish or use Teal'c’s alien phrasing for his spoken lines as well as interior monologue, for example.

None of my readers have ever complained about it and most actually like my style (or so they say).

[WraithRichard]

I only use scene breaks if the actual scene changes. For the alternating povs I just show/tell it by writing it Sam-ish or use Teal'c’s alien phrasing for his spoken lines as well as interior monologue, for example.

None of my readers have ever complained about it and most actually like my style (or so they say).

Good for you! (This is honesty, really). It's so hard to get reviews that aren't just 'Squee' or the equivalent.

I think you're mention of a Teal'c-like character prove that omniscience has it's place (As do some Dune books, so I've heard.) Just imagine two characters with personalities like that standing there for minutes on end, waiting for the other to do something and thinking they're a moron.

[Choo1701]

Oh! forgot to say:

Still having issues describing action sequences, and not letting my romance turn harlequin. GAH!

Well one the visual side of things, being an artist, i find doing action scenes quite interesting, being able to pick up refrence from all sorts of places and being able to 'describe' the events easily because you literally HAVE to show the reader whats going on, without having to 'get into characters heads/POV' (um..what?) so basically...


...

...

...


*does the dance of joy*
i win! i win! i win! i win! i win! i win! i win! i win! i win! i win! i win! i win! i win! i win! i win! i win! i win!


(although. i DO suck at romance, so yeah, looks like harlequin it is Sara! )

[fems]

Good for you! (This is honesty, really). It's so hard to get reviews that aren't just 'Squee' or the equivalent.

Yeah, I get those kinds of reviews too. But I also get reviews that actually refer to stuff that happened in the chapter and even a few that will speculate on the outcome of the fic. I really like those, but am happy with every review I get, even if they are just cries of joy.

I think you're mention of a Teal'c-like character prove that omniscience has it's place (As do some Dune books, so I've heard.) Just imagine two characters with personalities like that standing there for minutes on end, waiting for the other to do something and thinking they're a moron.

In my opinion, omniscience always has a place. It just really depends on the way it’s written. For some fics I’d prefer the writer just stick with one pov, especially if they can’t make more than one work. But as long as you can make the pov alternating distinguishable, it really shouldn’t be a problem. And in some cases it also explains why one character (re)acts in a certain way, while such a reaction wouldn’t make sense if you didn’t know their feelings or how they interpret the actions of the other character(s). Misunderstandings are very human, after all and a lot of fun to play with as a writer.

[SaraBahama]

For one of my fics, I used a similar concept concerning the isolated planets. I just didn’t go into the details of when and how my Goa'uld had transported the slaves, although she did have a pact with Ba’al. He was one of few who was actually aware of her existence, the other System Lords didn’t know/care and she’d managed to stay under their radar for centuries. It helped that she had a source for prim’tas, so that she was basically self-sufficient. I didn’t use a designation or exact location, I simply picked a name from the myths surrounding her and placed her in a quadrant of space (no gate on the planet but she had ships).

I'm one of those anal-retentive *cough*crazy*cough* writers who wants to have my backstory and plausibility worked out, even if I don't make direct reference to the details in my story. In my head it's 'real', so the writing is more consistent. It works for me. I'm even working out my Goa'uld's timeline from birth, even though her story may not be fully told in this work. I may be vague on the location of the world in space, but I think it's going to be a P1, P2 or P3 planet.

I’m just wondering but is it necessary to actually discuss the distance, means of transportation and exact location of the planet in your fic? You’re using a ha’tak for your minor lord, right? According to the Stargate Wikia, which you’re basing the speed on (as would I, since there are no other sources), it can carry about 2000 Jaffa. Since the minimal crew is twelve, I’m assuming that means the rest of the Jaffa are there to serve their lord and not necessarily needed to fly the ship/protect the Goa'uld. So would that and the cargo capacity be enough room for your planet’s (starting) population? Otherwise it might be best to drop the logistics and have the SGC (or whoever you’re going to use) make assumptions about it, if you still want to include some of the details.

Thanks for the wiki reference. That helps. The exodus is probably going to involve two ha'tak vessels. The reasons are plot driven.

In that case, you would probably want to avoid Ma’chello’s area too much, because of his attitude towards Goa'uld and all of his inventions. I don’t think he’d be capable of doing all that work if he was in/near the domain of a Goa'uld. And Cal Mah is supposed to be a relatively isolated planet…

Spoiler:

When K'tano chose an isolated forested world to raise his army of Rebel Jaffa in the fight against false gods, he named the planet Cal Mah, a place of sanctuary and a free world for all Jaffa. The simple training camps served as a temporary Rebel base until the planet was attacked from the air by Yu's mothership. The Rebel base was destroyed and the Rebel Jaffa abandoned the planet and fled through the stargate.

Thanks for the info...I'll probably be more vague in the story...it's not critical to the plot, just that the transport doesn't take years.

[WraithRichard]

(although. i DO suck at romance, so yeah, looks like harlequin it is Sara! )[/SIZE][/SIZE]

My 'Romance' is some version of one person either asking 'Do you want to have sex?' or just outright saying 'We will have sex now' and it gets weird from there.

[fems]

I'm one of those anal-retentive *cough*crazy*cough* writers who wants to have my backstory and plausibility worked out, even if I don't make direct reference to the details in my story. In my head it's 'real', so the writing is more consistent. It works for me. I'm even working out my Goa'uld's timeline from birth, even though her story may not be fully told in this work. I may be vague on the location of the world in space, but I think it's going to be a P1, P2 or P3 planet.

Ah yes, I know another one of those writers. I respect that, I know how much work it takes to create a plausible back story, especially if you’re going to use myths and stuff. In my fic she was just an ‘extra’ character (Ba’al and S/J were more important) so I didn’t do the whole nine yards for her. She (and others) already gave me enough of a headache with their history and tying everything together. And since she was mostly visiting Ba’al, Ba’alat and/or in one of her ships, I didn’t go into details for her home planet.

By the way, there are about 10 canonical P2 planets and over 30 P3 planets, but hardly any P1 planets. I’m not sure what the distance between Earth and Abydos is (in light years) but the Icarus base (from SGU) is apparently only 21 light years away and it took George Hammond “several hours” to get there. Most of the other planets throughout the show are much further away (several hundred light years). I know your ha’taks have ‘regular’ hyperdrive engines and George Hammond has Asgard hyperdrive engines, but considering the Asgard were able to travel from one side of the galaxy to the other in a few hours, I assume the Earth ship used the less advanced hyperdrive system (maybe a different setting) for the twenty-one light year trip. Taking in account when exactly your Goa'uld transported his slaves and the upgrades that have probably been made throughout the centuries (as well as Apophis’ upgrades in the end of season one, only needing a couple of hours to reach Earth), I guess the trip to your planet(s) – if close enough to Earth – could be made in one or two days.

My 'Romance' is some version of one person either asking 'Do you want to have sex?' or just outright saying 'We will have sex now' and it gets weird from there.

So, basically you don’t do romance?

EDIT:
I was referring to the trip from Earth to Icarus Base after they picked up Eli Wallace (and probably those other people), not Sam coming to the rescue in George Hammond when the base was under attack.

Yay, I can finally edit my posts.

[Skydiver]

I think one other thing to remember...the show made distances be what the story needed them to be. Sam was 'several hours away' because they needed her to be.

Remember, these are the folks that moved Jack's cabin from Minnesota to silver springs colorado to facilitate a story. Who made a big deal about Jack's lack of an alibi in Smoke and Mirrors when the simple fact of driving from Minnesota to Colorado is in and of itself an alibi (as would be his credit card receipts from the 3-4 fillups he'd have had to make to make the drive, not to mention dozens of surveillance cameras and any toll booths he went through as well as any satellite navigation he might have had plus the towers his cell phone bounced off of as he drove)

if they can't research that, they sure won't lose sleep over star charts.

Research as much as you feel you need to,but you always have to remember, they quite often didn't let anything as pesky as the facts spoil the story they wanted to tell or plot device they needed to make something happen

[WraithRichard]

So, basically you don’t do romance?

I do, it's just awkward and not at all Harlequinny.

[fems]

But if it's just about asking for sex or announcing they're going to have sex, isn't it more smut than actual romance?

[WraithRichard]

But if it's just about asking for sex or announcing they're going to have sex, isn't it more smut than actual romance?

Not really. Those could be pick-up lines, social-awkwardness, misinterpretation, or seeking smut that later turns into romance.

[SF_and_Coffee]

Showing and telling have a blurred line between them, and telling is never always the lesser. There was a lot of telling in ATWLB. Memories, descriptions of turmoil, regret, and acknowledging the inability to express all of those are in your fic, but they're describe in detail--told before their actions show them.

True, but I was talking about a way to handle conversations specifically, not entire characterizations.

Plus your story is a great example of why I us omniscient: people hide things for different reasons.

Yep, but if you'll notice, I've achieved the same effect in ATWLB using sequential limited 3rd. (I didn't even know you were still reading, by the way; I'm glad to know you are. The next chapter should be up in a day or two.) For example, a conversation between Cadogan and Frank might be told from Frank's POV initially, but then important points from it might be revisited later in a conversation between Cadogan and Sabar or Cadogan and Tesni in which what Cadogan was hiding from Frank is revealed, along with his reasons for doing so. I only have to be in one head at a time, but we still get all the views, just not all at once. The wait in between even gives the reader time to wonder about things, which can increase reader interest in the same way that cliffhangers can.

It merely works best for what I write; I often need a reader to see into both heads and understand the mamihlapinatapai of the moment or why one is acting in a way that is counterproductive to what they want and they don't know why--postponing the thoughts would be detrimental to the story sometimes.

I'm not saying that omniscient can never work, but it can get very confusing for readers, so you really have to balance that. Writing in sequential limited 3rd is harder because you have to control the elements of timing of the revelation of material, but it can actually be be more rewarding for the reader. I always used to write in omniscient, because it was easier to head-hop, but I find I write better material now that I've pulled back to only being in one head at a time.

[mathpiglet]

I think one other thing to remember...the show made distances be what the story needed them to be. Sam was 'several hours away' because they needed her to be.

Remember, these are the folks that moved Jack's cabin from Minnesota to silver springs colorado to facilitate a story. Who made a big deal about Jack's lack of an alibi in Smoke and Mirrors when the simple fact of driving from Minnesota to Colorado is in and of itself an alibi (as would be his credit card receipts from the 3-4 fillups he'd have had to make to make the drive, not to mention dozens of surveillance cameras and any toll booths he went through as well as any satellite navigation he might have had plus the towers his cell phone bounced off of as he drove)

if they can't research that, they sure won't lose sleep over star charts.

Research as much as you feel you need to,but you always have to remember, they quite often didn't let anything as pesky as the facts spoil the story they wanted to tell or plot device they needed to make something happen

Hear! Hear!

[WraithRichard]

I'm not saying that omniscient can never work, but it can get very confusing for readers, so you really have to balance that. Writing in sequential limited 3rd is harder because you have to control the elements of timing of the revelation of material, but it can actually be be more rewarding for the reader. I always used to write in omniscient, because it was easier to head-hop, but I find I write better material now that I've pulled back to only being in one head at a time.

I think this is why I like it better; while the head-hopping is helpful, I find working on the balance and keeping what mystery I do have subtle the best part.

I've written in limited and while the piece was good, my omni was considered a better, stronger piece.

[SaraBahama]

Sounds like a need for a beta. Or a pm discussion with someone.

I do have a Beta, but remember...I'm very new still (writing skills 19 years out of shape). Just getting it to a place where I'M comfortable enough to give it to my Beta is the problem. Getting it out of my head and onto paper in a realistic way is the daunting part for me.

Ah yes, I know another one of those writers. I respect that, I know how much work it takes to create a plausible back story, especially if you’re going to use myths and stuff. In my fic she was just an ‘extra’ character (Ba’al and S/J were more important) so I didn’t do the whole nine yards for her. She (and others) already gave me enough of a headache with their history and tying everything together. And since she was mostly visiting Ba’al, Ba’alat and/or in one of her ships, I didn’t go into details for her home planet.
By the way, there are about 10 canonical P2 planets and over 30 P3 planets, but hardly any P1 planets. I’m not sure what the distance between Earth and Abydos is (in light years) but the Icarus base (from SGU) is apparently only 21 light years away and it took George Hammond “several hours” to get there. Most of the other planets throughout the show are much further away (several hundred light years). I know your ha’taks have ‘regular’ hyperdrive engines and George Hammond has Asgard hyperdrive engines, but considering the Asgard were able to travel from one side of the galaxy to the other in a few hours, I assume the Earth ship used the less advanced hyperdrive system (maybe a different setting) for the twenty-one light year trip. Taking in account when exactly your Goa'uld transported his slaves and the upgrades that have probably been made throughout the centuries (as well as Apophis’ upgrades in the end of season one, only needing a couple of hours to reach Earth), I guess the trip to your planet(s) – if close enough to Earth – could be made in one or two days.

Thanks! I appreciate all of the good advice and thoughts ALL of you have given me on this one! Now on to my next bit of pondering...

I think one other thing to remember...the show made distances be what the story needed them to be. Sam was 'several hours away' because they needed her to be.
Remember, these are the folks that moved Jack's cabin from Minnesota to silver springs colorado to facilitate a story. Who made a big deal about Jack's lack of an alibi in Smoke and Mirrors when the simple fact of driving from Minnesota to Colorado is in and of itself an alibi (as would be his credit card receipts from the 3-4 fillups he'd have had to make to make the drive, not to mention dozens of surveillance cameras and any toll booths he went through as well as any satellite navigation he might have had plus the towers his cell phone bounced off of as he drove) if they can't research that, they sure won't lose sleep over star charts.
Research as much as you feel you need to,but you always have to remember, they quite often didn't let anything as pesky as the facts spoil the story they wanted to tell or plot device they needed to make something happen

OH -THAT IS GREAT! Thanks for pointing that out, Skydiver! We were discussing Jack's cabin location in 'Uninvited' on another thread just recently -everybody thinks they goofed really spectacularly on that. And the alibi stuff...reality just isn't good enough sometimes for the writers, is it?