GABIT attendees thread

[katjoy]

I didn't read all the posts, but wanted to respond to this: I'm no great hugger either. And I have been to 3 gabits!! Lol. I have no problem hugging people at cons, because everyone is doing it. But in RL I don't hug. It's just not common over here and I was not brought up that way.

I was actually talking with my sister about it the other day. That we have physical contact with so little people in our lives. We don't even hug (and we're great sisters!) .. it's just the way it is over here. I hope to change it with my daughter though

PS: no need to butt out

i totally know what you mean lies... im not a big hugger in day to day life, but at cons i hug...

[donamac]

I spent 15 years being quiet and withdrawn, not talking much and smiling less. I didn't hug people, I didn't go up to introduce myself to people I didn't know, and I almost never laughed in public.

That self-description is no longer even remotely close to accurate. Everyone who met me at the convention probably understands why one of my work buddies actually describes me as "aggressively friendly." I told several newbies on forums before the convention that if they were feeling lonely or shy, they should come find me because I would always happily welcome them into whatever group I was with or help them figure out whatever they were confused about. I'm thrilled and humbled to say that several did exactly that.

The trick is to start with small steps and then just keep stepping. The way I started might sound silly, but it worked for me. I started playing a game where I'd try to get strangers to smile at me as I walked past. The way you play is to start smiling. It doesn't need to be a gigantic, ear-to-ear sort of smile; in fact, it works better if it's not. Just make it an honestly happy one and think about something that makes you feel like smiling at least a little. (I suggest good memories from the convention.) Let yourself feel that kind of unselfish joy, then let it show on your mouth and in your eyes. Now walk down the street with that smile on your face. When you pass a stranger, make eye contact for a moment, just long enough to let them know that you saw them but not for so long that they feel the need to acknowledge that you're there. Don't let the smile dim. You'll be surprised by the number of people who smile back and look happier as they keep walking away. It's especially fun when you pass someone who is glowering at nothing; sometimes they get this slightly startled look on their face as they start to smile a little back at you. (The reason you start with strangers is because there aren't any consequences. If they react in a way you don't like, you keep walking. If they react in a way you do like, you keep walking. Worst-case scenario, you get a little fresh air and physical exercise, and that's not anything to be unhappy about.)

After that game stops feeling like a strange and impossible thing, start smiling at people you know with the same timing that doesn't require them to respond. Make a point of complimenting at least one person a day, no matter how trivial the compliment is or even if you know the person you're complimenting. It doesn't matter if you're complimenting their shoes or the joke they just made or the project they're working on or how adorable their toddler is. What matters is that you're practicing reaching out to people in a positive and friendly way. Don't push your boundaries so quickly that you want to give up on the whole project, but also don't stop pushing them until they are where you are happy with them.

Here's where I reveal that I'm a Doctor Who fan... imagine for a moment that the Doctor takes you a couple of decades into the future and you meet your future self. (Let's assume that you don't manage to nearly destroy the universe when you do it.) You realize that your future self is easily the most loving and fantastic person you've ever met and you're extremely proud to know them. Now write down what personality qualities that version of you has. For each one of the items you write down, come up with one baby step that will take you in that direction and find a way to practice that baby step every day. When the baby steps you picked out aren't terrifying anymore, make up new baby steps.

Big secret of life: You can alter your behavior on purpose, not just on accident. The trick is to ignore the fact that you aren't where you want to be and instead pay all of your attention to moving in the right direction. And to quote Amanda from TSE last summer, don't ever, ever give up.

*hugs*

P.S. Any time you feel discouraged about it, come see me. I'll tell you that it is possible, I've done it, and life is so much better afterward that I can't put the difference into words.

A great way to change ATTITUDES of some people you work with, or grouchy bus drivers, or salespeople. I often smile at everybody first even before speaking to them. It works quite well for the most part. My Mom always said she liked the challenge to make grouchy folks smile back. She was very outgoing with strangers (which embarrassed me as a teenager) and she was quite successful at it.

[donamac]

*Hugs everyone*

For everyone who misses the hugs and friends.


Julia(samcarterrules)

((((Hugging you back, Julia))))

[Trindajae]

K. and I were sitting for I-don't-know-how-long on the sofa working up the courage to approach a group and I finally decided to approach your group because I "knew" you from the gabit-forum. Thanks for instantly including us and making us feel welcome <3

It worked out well for me, too.


Mumsey, I don't have a picture, but I have a couple of seconds of video of the towing event. I'll send it to you when I get it off my camera. (I'm at work right now, so it'll have to wait for tomorrow.)

[llp]

Speaking of hugs - here is a little hug fest that raised money for S4K:
http://i981.photobucket.com/albums/a...sforS4K-16.jpg
http://i981.photobucket.com/albums/a...sforS4K-13.jpg
http://i981.photobucket.com/albums/a...sforS4K-10.jpg
http://i981.photobucket.com/albums/a...gsforS4K-8.jpg
http://i981.photobucket.com/albums/a...gsforS4K-7.jpg
http://i981.photobucket.com/albums/a...gsforS4K-3.jpg
http://i981.photobucket.com/albums/a...gsforS4K-2.jpg
http://i981.photobucket.com/albums/a...gsforS4K-5.jpg
http://i981.photobucket.com/albums/a...sforS4K-16.jpg

[samcarterrules]

Does anyone have a picture of Susan (lamemoose) towing Wynn around the foyer? Wynn's electric scooter had broken down, and Susan just grabbed the armrest of Wynn's manual wheelchair and started to tow her. It startled Wynn a bit, but she soon began to enjoy it!

Mumsey

LOL, I must have missed that!

Speaking of hugs - here is a little hug fest that raised money for S4K:

Awww cute! Speaking of the bear, I was wondering does anyone have a photo of Amanda hugging him that they wouldn't mind me having? Its just by that point my camera had ran out of battery, I wouldn't use it online anywhere it would just be for my digital photo frame. If not no worries.

Oh and need to show you all my new shiny, my new avatar kindly made for me by Ambermoon *hugs her* And my new sig made by me.

Julia(samcarterrules)

[Trindajae]

And my new sig made by me.

That first frame is the most hilarious face!palm I've seen recently. I love it.

[ames]

In fact I'm convinced that the hug was invented by Canadians

This would not surprise me.

Exactly what I was thinking!!! Great minds, and all that jazz, eh? LOL
I commented at TSE when I hugged RyRo that all the members of the Sanctuary team were excellent huggers, and asked if it was a job requirement - he told me it was definitely part of the audition process

Wow! It really is wonderful how much you could change when you put your mind to it. I do some of those of things...I do compliment people people a lot, I do smile at people as I walk along. I don't have trouble doing that kind of thing. I do have trouble with the hugging thing. I think I just feel that you open yourself up a little too much to get that close to people. I'm better with my family these days, so I guess I'm improving? But outside of them, it's not something I feel comfortable with. I guess if I was at a con and people hugged me all day long I'd get used to it? I hope I find out!

Thanks for the encouragement, I really appreciate it and you seem to represent how people can change and be more open. Btw, I am an excellent virtual hugger, no consequences

*HUGS*

P.S. I want to thank everyone who responded to me on this thread. I'm going to butt out now since I haven't actually been to a Gabit event (yet). I'm sure that if and when I do get to attend, I'll be squeeing like nobody's business Thanks again

Hugging is definitely one of those things that improve with practice It's funny - I come from a family of huggers, so am used to it but kept finding myself at work the past two days trying to curb this urge to hug my co-workers...

And no need to butt out - the more the merrier!
Just think of this as prep for AT6! Hehehe...

A great way to change ATTITUDES of some people you work with, or grouchy bus drivers, or salespeople. I often smile at everybody first even before speaking to them. It works quite well for the most part. My Mom always said she liked the challenge to make grouchy folks smile back. She was very outgoing with strangers (which embarrassed me as a teenager) and she was quite successful at it.

I always try to smile before picking up the phone, or heading out into the world, regardless of where I'm going. Even if I'm having a tough day, it's worth the effort to try, IMO! If my smile is infectious, all the better ... and if it's not, at least ppl will be wondering what I'm up to, and that works for me too! LOL

LOL, I must have missed that!


Awww cute! Speaking of the bear, I was wondering does anyone have a photo of Amanda hugging him that they wouldn't mind me having? Its just by that point my camera had ran out of battery, I wouldn't use it online anywhere it would just be for my digital photo frame. If not no worries.

Oh and need to show you all my new shiny, my new avatar kindly made for me by Ambermoon *hugs her* And my new sig made by me.

Julia(samcarterrules)

I may have bear photos hon, I haven't had a chance to unpack my camera yet!
I'll let you know what treasures I uncover when I do
PS: love the sig!

...survived my next insane shift, fell into bed at 3 am ... and was wide awake, hungry, and raring to go again before 6 am. *headdesk* Yay for time zone shifting! *rolls eyes*

...erm, is it a bad thing that I'm already starting to plan the AT6 journey to England? *bats eyelashes* In my defence, I'll be bringing a very special first-timer with me *huge happy dance*, who's never set foot in the UK before, so need to make sure the rest of the trip is almost as amazing as the weekend at the Ren ... a tall order, but doable! Wheeeeeeeeeeee

Okay, off to church now -- *waves*

[Jumble]

LOL, I must have missed that!


Awww cute! Speaking of the bear, I was wondering does anyone have a photo of Amanda hugging him that they wouldn't mind me having? Its just by that point my camera had ran out of battery, I wouldn't use it online anywhere it would just be for my digital photo frame. If not no worries.

Oh and need to show you all my new shiny, my new avatar kindly made for me by Ambermoon *hugs her* And my new sig made by me.

Julia(samcarterrules)

You're welcome to this one Julia


(click for bigger)

[llp]

AuctionAT5-1.jpgHere are 3 pictures - help yourself
AuctionAT5-3.jpg
AuctionAT5-4.jpg

[NZNeep]

I would like to help myself to Amanda's boots.

Any of them would do, I think she has a wardrobe dedicated to them.

[EH-T]

So, Flow got married yesterday. Brenda, Neep, Su(Sanne) en myself (&Milou!) attended the wedding. It was very nice. And Flow LOVED the card we (and Amanda!) secretly signed for her

*hugs all*

That's great! Sooo wish I was there.

I've only "known" Amanda for just over a year and I'm sad that I came late to the party and missed out on sooooooo much. It's so great to read these posts confirming everything about her. I also think that so many of her fans are such wonderful, special people...the loving, caring, giving kind. I've never thought of myself as those things and having serious doubts if I'd ever fit in LOL! Well, maybe some day, at least I hope

Hey, better late than never.

Of course you would fit in, you are Canadian, aren't you?

As for the hugging, start off with what makes you feel comfortable, but I will warn you that with this group, it is hard not to hug them. Among family and friends we have always hugged but, while I always talk to strangers, I generally do (or should I say did) not hug people I do not know well. My first event was AT3. Being careful regarding personal space and aware of certain stories of abuses by certain elements of fandom, I extended my hand upon meeting AT in the photo op. She ignored my hand and hugged me instead. I soon learned this is the Gabit way!

This time at the photo op, I was met by Elaine who was hugging for a 1GBP donation to S4K. I pulled out my money and got my hug. Julia had been seated behind Elaine and she came forward for another hug. Gave her some money, as I gave her more than Elaine then Elaine said she wanted more money! I duly complied and got another hug. Meanwhile AT was waiting for me to do the photo. I had money in my hand from having paid the others so as I approached her I asked her how much she wanted for a hug. She said nothing, she just wanted a hug. Hugs are plentiful at Gabit events and, trust me, you will learn to love it.

julia your words are always so beautiful and inspiring! you truely capture what it is to be a fan of amanda's... i really hope to make it to AT6 to meet you and all the other samandans out there... to be part of this amazing, inspiring event that brings amanda and her fans together in an event that moves me even though i have not attended personally...


to everyone who has shared their photos and con reports thank you so much for making it possible for those of us unable to attend to be part of the the special weekend through your experiences... i hope to meet you all at AT6 and share in this loving environment that is a gabit event!

Fingers crossed for you.










Julia S asked how people feel after an AT event and I have been thinking about that. After the first event I came away relieved to be prefectly honest. I was concerned about what a convention would be like given the common stereotype and some stories I had heard. I suspected AT would be wonderful and very entertaining (and she was) but I was not prepared to be so impressed by the fans and the Gabit folk. I have often said that if my second con experience (a Creation event) had been my first, it would have been my last. Instead AT3 became the first of many Gabit events since and, I hope, many more to come.

I was raised to appreciate the fact that I am blessed to have the love and support of family and friends, that I have never known poverty or war and that have many advantages that others, especially females, do not have because of where I live. I was also raised to give to others whenever and wherever possible. So I cannot say that AT or Gabit events have inspired me to give (my parents took care of that) but they do help me to carry on. Sometimes it can be discouraging when you see the news (which is usually bad) or see how so many squander their blessings (hello Charlie Sheen). Amanda, Gabit and my fellow fans remind me that the world is more good than bad and that the actions of one person can make a difference. Better yet, they show that the actions of a few can make a huge difference. So while I went away from AT3 just happy to know my fellow fans were normal, I have come away from AT4 and AT5 reinvigorated and rededicated to doing whatever I can to help others.

My thanks to AT for leading us all by example, to the G4 and their team for their tireless efforts to make sure the world is a better place and to my fellow fans for their generosity and spirit.

[Jumble]

Very well said EH-T *hugs*

[EH-T]

Very well said EH-T *hugs*

Thanks. I realised after I should have said that I came away from AT4 a wee bit bitter! However, definitely no longer bitter after AT5.

[Jumble]

Thanks. I realised after I should have said that I came away from AT4 a wee bit bitter! However, definitely no longer bitter after AT5.

I know the story but I honestly can't see you ever being bitter