Who is the hottest guy on STARGATE ATLANTIS

[DarkenLycht]

Oh that's why Dell asked me to have Gabriel treat Shep kind, I guess I just can't show my fics to you guys then :/

Would you really want him do that to Wraith-Carson, Aang? Lock him away forever just because of his needs?
Thinking of that this was considered makes me really sad

[Aang]

Oh, don't feel that way, Poet...

I just couldn't do it for my personal reasons having to do with which "alternate universe" my fictions all take place in. Unfortunately it means I've gone into writing a lot of romance because I do romance and dark scenes best and I've stopped myself from writing much of the darker things so that I don't hurt anyone.

Because if my "alternate universe" fictions...didn't take place in the GateWorld-Universe (as it were) and correspond to our ongoing chats here...I might be more tempted to write darker stuff sometimes. I just can't handle the idea of writing something that would really change the way I chat to Beck, Dell, Jae'a, Sparky...even you.

A- Aye an' she loves me too much, she's gone a bit soft recently. *he hugs me*

[DarkenLycht]

Still sad, anyone would onsider such a thing to help a Wraith...my new poem fits into that issue quite well

It wouldn't change the way you chat to us, it's just the fiction world, that changes...it doesn't change Carson(s) or anyone in our fantasy world on here, don't worry about that

[Aang]

I...I don't know. I wish there was another option than either killing him or putting him in stasis...but if they won't trust him and he doesn't trust himself to work to reverse the transformation...I don't know.

I'm trying to write it and near crying because it hurts. If I ever finish it, it will be a dream/nightmare fiction. Because I could never make it really happen to my Carson. Ever.

[DarkenLycht]

That is what I am sad about so much in all SGA, they just mistrust the Wraith no matter what, even if they haven't met the one in question before, Wraith are people like them, with feelings and fears that's what they forget....not each Wraith who is approaching them wants to feed on them
Just because they are different doiesn't mean they don't have a right to live, but that is what no one in the team seems to realize

[Aang]

Amazing enough, I'm nearly done. It's a short fiction and it's going to make me sort of sad every time I read it...and I hope it's alright...but I had to get that plot out of my mind.

[DarkenLycht]

Sounds cool, I think I am just too unromantic to get ever so close to my characters that it would make me cry to read a story...or well I like them to be hurt because I can nurse them in my mind later then

[Aang]

I don't mind being the one to comfort my Love when something does happen, but writing the first bit of this was the hardest I've ever had to write, and I think you'll understand why. It's not only Carson who is affected in this little dream. Maybe you'll recognize his companion.

Spoiler:

What Have I Done

He watched, unable to stop it from happening. His hand—was it his hand? It was pale green and the nails were long and yellowed—reached out and planted itself on the center of her chest. He felt the cool, refreshing swell of life force flowing through his starved body (yes, it was his hand), dulling the painful burning that is hunger.

When he finally forced himself to look again at her, her silky brown hair had turned gray, her once blazing green eyes were now dull and clouded, and her strong young body was wrinkled and drained of life. He was finally able to regain control and stop feeding, but it was too late for her. She was dead.

With a snarl of frustration and sadness, a different pain filled his body. He turned to look into the mirror and stepped back in shock. His blue eyes were now yellow-green, standing out against the pale, minty skin of his face, and his hair, though still short and spiked, was now white. He glanced down at his hand and snarled again with distaste at the feeding hand. He turned and fled the room, unable to look at the girl’s body anymore.

How could this happen? How could I feed on ‘er? How could I kill my Love, the only one who could have understood me? I am Dr. Carson Beckett, I am a healer, but I am becoming a killer. If I don’t feed, th’ hunger burns like nothin’ I’ve ever felt in my life and it threatens to kill me. If I do feed, I am forced to kill, to cause harm to human beings for my own benefit. I am becoming a monster. These thoughts flooded his mind as he fled.

He ran through the darkened city, trying desperately to escape its walls, but coming up short at every turn. Tears streamed down his mint green cheeks, and the hunger returned, burning like a fire from the inside. Finally, he collapsed to his knees at the end of a hallway, shaking visibly. He could not understand what was happening to him, why he was becoming the very thing that he had always tried to avoid. He only knew that he had killed her for his own wellbeing, and it was tearing him up inside.

With a start, Carson Beckett sat up in bed. He was breathing hard and sweat coated his face and body. He looked over to the pretty girl asleep beside him, and just stared at her sleeping form. She was alive, he hadn’t killed her. The relief that flooded his body and mind wasn’t enough. He stood and stumbled out onto their balcony, gripping the railing and staring out over the ocean and the starry sky.

“My Love? Are you alright?” A hand placed gently on his shoulder startled him and he turned to face her. Before he had time to answer, she’d wrapped him in a hug, just holding him. He wrapped his arms around her warm body, letting himself absorb the fact that she was alive and well, and willing the image of her fed-upon body to leave his mind and stop haunting him.

“Aye, I’ll be fine. ‘Twas just a wee nightmare, Love,” He felt further relief as his own voice came out as smooth as it should have been and not the rough, raspy voice of the creature he had become in his nightmare. He held her close, unwilling to let her go, to let her leave his side, and they slipped down to sit against the familiar city wall, she sitting on his lap by now, and running her hands through his short, soft brown hair.

There, they would spend the rest of the night, clinging to one another. She laid a gentle kiss on his forehead and then on the palm of his hand, just as she did every time this nightmare came to haunt him in his sleep. She would fall asleep holding his large, work-roughened hand in her two small, delicate ones. She was his only comfort, the only one who would ever know of this dream, and it is she who must help him through it.

Because he is a clone, the one who created him is able to give him dreams even over a distance, and this haunting dream is his creator’s way of reminding him of the pain that was caused by his own hands when the retrovirus was tested.

[DarkenLycht]

Nice for a start
Though he could live a few months without feeding before he's forced to do it, so he could manage to find someone during that time, who would be minded when missing

But, a Wraith who loves someone wouldn't surely kill his love, they are no monsters Someone else could always be found unless they are stranded on a lonesome island

[Aang]

I know, but this was a dream forced on him by Michael, sort of an ongoing method of torture to remind him of the pain he'd caused to Michael.

How it went, is that the only way to make Carson fully understand the pain of being rejected by his Queen after the retrovirus was to make Carson feel what it's like to lose the one he loved because of what he had become.

It's a dream. Dreams don't follow reality...

[DarkenLycht]

um ok, I see
That whole love-reasoned stuff is just no good for me

[Aang]

Ok let's try this out.

A wraith respects his Queen, would do anything for his Queen. That Queen tells him that he is nothing because he was once turned into a human at Carson's doing.

So now, he wants Carson to remember what the retro virus caused.

Well, Carson's lover would be to him as a Queen is to her Commander. He would do anything for her. ...And then she is gone because he has become a Wraith.

:/ I might have that all backwards. Hmm I do have an idea...let me go rework a few bits of the story, I might be able to fix it.

[DarkenLycht]

He respects her? Well, then he has to accept being told he's nothing, he may be hurt a little but since he knows she's got her reasons, hie will accept it

If he loves her that would be something different, but as I said I can't get warm with those relations

[Aang]

*sigh*

Now do you begin to see why I don't write much to do with Wraith? And why I don't like to write things like this happening to the main cast of SGA?

I can't write Wraith properly because I don't understand them properly.

I can try, but it never works out right.

I was going to work on fixing this fic and making it work out better but...I don't think it'll ever be quite right.

[Dellruby]

I can't do this one again