Favorite SGA Quotes

[Eye Of Ra]

Zelenka: Normally if Dr. Esposito weren't around, I doubt you would have been as reckless as you were.
McKay: Are you insane?
Sheppard: Which one is Esposito?
Zelenka: Oh, the long dark-haired...
Col Sheppard: Oh, right, the one with the perky little...
McKay: Do you mind?! We're trying to work here.
Sheppard: For the record I was gonna say 'smile'.
McKay: Ya, I'm sure you were.

[LtColCarter]

McKay: "We need the Zed-P-M to power the gate."

O'Neill: "Huh?"

Daniel: "Z-P-M. He's Canadian."

O'Neill (to McKay): I'm sorry.

[Eye Of Ra]

McKay: Look, um, I know you've already been debriefed about the future events – all the things we were hoping to avoid – but there's just one more thing I need to know.

Sheppard: What?

McKay: Did I still have hair?

Sheppard: [pausing] No.

[LtColCarter]

"The weapon the Ancients built to defend this outpost."
"The who?"
"You do have security clearance to be here?"
"Yeah, yeah, General O'Neill just gave it to me."
"Then you don't even know about the Stargate."
"The what?"
- Beckett brings Sheppard up to speed, "Rising"

[BFH_Bushy_Tush]

Sheppard: Any way to figure out what they're saying?

McKay: Yes, of course, it says right here, "Why is the smart one having to stop and answer so many questions?"

XXXX

Ronon: More of the same.

Teyla: Shh. I am counting. I do not want to lose my place.

Ronon: I counted 376. No, wait, 398. I forgot about the infirmary. There was 22 in there, or was it 23? [Teyla looks at him like she is very annoyed] Sorry.

XXXX

Sheppard: Rodney, you're drooling over a Wraith.

McKay: I know, I disgust myself sometimes.

XXXX

McKay: Just, um, back out if you encounter anything problematic.

Sheppard: Problematic?

McKay: Yeah, like poisonous atmosphere, acid atmosphere, no atmosphere…. Hey, it's a MALP on a stick; only shows you so much!

XXXX

Dr. Lee: It's—it's the Twilight Bark. [no ones gets it]

Dr. Lee: Twilight Bark? 101 Dalmatians? Didn't you guys see that movie? My kids love it, and... Well, okay, so there's all these dogs. And one barks here, one barks here, one— They send the message across the countryside. [still no one gets it]

Dr. Lee: Lord of the Rings. [people start nodding and smiling]

Dr. Lee: Lord of the Rings! You know when they light all those signal fires on the mountaintops? You all saw that, right?

[kusanagi]

McKay: Look, um, I know you've already been debriefed about the future events – all the things we were hoping to avoid – but there's just one more thing I need to know.

Sheppard: What?

McKay: Did I still have hair?

Sheppard: [pausing] No.

[Stargate Atlantis Girl]

Sheppard: Any way to figure out what they're saying?

McKay: Yes, of course, it says right here, "Why is the smart one having to stop and answer so many questions?"

XXXX

Ronon: More of the same.

Teyla: Shh. I am counting. I do not want to lose my place.

Ronon: I counted 376. No, wait, 398. I forgot about the infirmary. There was 22 in there, or was it 23? [Teyla looks at him like she is very annoyed] Sorry.

XXXX

Sheppard: Rodney, you're drooling over a Wraith.

McKay: I know, I disgust myself sometimes.

XXXX

McKay: Just, um, back out if you encounter anything problematic.

Sheppard: Problematic?

McKay: Yeah, like poisonous atmosphere, acid atmosphere, no atmosphere…. Hey, it's a MALP on a stick; only shows you so much!

XXXX

Dr. Lee: It's—it's the Twilight Bark. [no ones gets it]

Dr. Lee: Twilight Bark? 101 Dalmatians? Didn't you guys see that movie? My kids love it, and... Well, okay, so there's all these dogs. And one barks here, one barks here, one— They send the message across the countryside. [still no one gets it]

Dr. Lee: Lord of the Rings. [people start nodding and smiling]

Dr. Lee: Lord of the Rings! You know when they light all those signal fires on the mountaintops? You all saw that, right?

[cflat]

The Game

Lorne: Uh, actually, I think Doctor McKay may wanna come check this one out for himself.
McKay: Why?
Lorne (still grinning): Take a look.

(He and the sergeant look back over the wall. On the opposite side of the village square, a flag is flying. It has a vertical red stripe on each side and in the middle is a picture of a man who looks suspiciously familiar. Elizabeth, John and Rodney stare. The sergeant zooms the camera in on the flag. For a moment the image goes out of focus, then the image clears up and everyone's suspicions are confirmed. The face is that of Rodney McKay.)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

McKay: It's more about whose society outshines the others. I mean, who creates a better infrastructure, who's better at trade.
(In the Jumper, he looks at John. John scowls back at him.)
McKay: What?
(John continues to scowl at him.)
McKay: Hey, don't start. I tried to negotiate with you.
Sheppard: Making a list of demands and not giving anything in return is not negotiating.
McKay: I offered you an entire crop of beans.
Sheppard: I don't *need* beans. I need lumber.
McKay: Oh, right – to build defensive fortifications for your army, which he doubled in size, by the way. Surprise, surprise.
(Ronon grins approvingly at John.)
Sheppard: I only did that after you started cheating.
McKay: I did *not* cheat.
(John looks round at Ronon and Teyla.)
Sheppard: He's giving his people *way* too much technology for their level of development. (He points accusingly at Rodney.) I'm not the only one increasing my army, by the way.
McKay: I had to do something to protect the people of Geldar from you.
Dex: Geldar?
Sheppard: The name of Rodney's country. He named it after a girl he stalked in college.
McKay: I did *not* stalk her. (Ronon and Teyla grin at each other.)
We dated twice. Teresa Geldar – a very cute blonde. I always used to think her name reminded me of some kind of a mythological land. The Kingdom of Geldar.

[LtColCarter]

Sheppard: "I'm teaching Teyla how football is the cornerstone of Western civilization."

Weir: "You're allowed one personal item, and you chose this?"

Sheppard: "It's a metaphor. Don't you see? This entire expedition is the biggest 'Hail Mary' in human history."

[LtColCarter]

Beckett: Converting a human body into energy and sending it millions of light years through a wormhole. Bloody insanity.

Sheppard: Come on, how often do you get to travel to an alien planet?

Beckett: I was already on an alien planet!

[BFH_Bushy_Tush]

Dr. McKay: Now, as you know, the Zero Point Module controls the flow of massive amounts of power.

Lt. Col. Sheppard: Like a dam.

Dr. McKay: No, it's not like a dam, it's more like a ...uh...actually, yes, it's like a dam. If you overload the dam, it breaks, which is why the Ancients put in place failsafes to prevent such a thing from happening.

Lt. Col. Sheppard: Like a spillway.

Dr. McKay: Could we just stick with failsafes?

xXx

Dr. McKay: Hermiod's going to attempt to remove Col. Caldwell's Goa'uld using Asgard beaming technology.

Dr Beckett: Quite remarkable, actually.

Dr. McKay: And complicated. Well, the calculations are impossibly intricate. You don't want to beam out a chunk of his brain.

Dr. Beckett: Lovely, Rodney.

XxX

Dr Weir: [over comm] Thaelin, the second I find you, you die.

Dr Beckett: Well, they're on the road to divorce.

xXx

Ladon: I'll only talk to Weir.

Lt. Col. Sheppard: Do I make you nervous.

Ladon: Not at all, Major. I'm just not interested in talking to the errand boy.

Lt. Col. Sheppard: That's Lieutenant Colonel Errand Boy to you.

[LtColCarter]

McKay: He just doesn't like going through the Stargate.

Sheppard: He's worse than Dr. McCoy.

Teyla: Who?

Sheppard: The TV character that Dr. Beckett plays in real life.

[BFH_Bushy_Tush]

Ronon: Sheppard's on the list; McKay is on the list. Why aren't Teyla and me?

Dr. Weir: What, you're feeling left out?

Ronon I just wanna know who thinks I'm not a threat and give 'em a chance to change their mind.

XXXX

Lt. Col. Sheppard: It took Dr. McKay years to figure out all things Ancient and he still doesn't completely understand.

Dr. McKay: [defensively] I have a very firm grasp of Ancient technology.

Lt. Col. Sheppard: You've blown up entire planets, Rodney.

Dr. McKay: That wasn't my fault!

Lt. Col. Sheppard: Well, it didn't do it by itself!

XXXX

Dr. McKay: We don't need to go far. [Twirling his finger in the air] Any old orbit will do!

Lt. Col. Sheppard: And then what?

Dr. McKay: [as sarcastically as humanly possible] Well, then, Norena and I were planning a small dinner for us all, nothing fancy ...

Norena: Rodney.

Dr. McKay: Well, what does he mean, "Then what"?! Then we won't die horribly!

XXXX

Dr. Beckett: I think I may be missing something. Correct me if I'm wrong, but when the volcano erupts, don't we as well?

Dr. McKay: That's the plan!

XXXX

Dr. McKay: Well, well. Turns out the human knows what he's doing after all!

Hermiod: Indeed. Your assistance on this project will be noted.

Dr. McKay: My assistance?!?

[LtColCarter]

Weir: Major, have you made any progress with your prisoner?

Sheppard: Not yet, but he just blinked.

McKay: He blinked? What does that mean?

Sheppard: It means he's still holding on, but he's indicated to me that he may break soon.

McKay: And he indicated this to you by blinking?

Sheppard: Yes.

[dolfyn]

2 more from Outsiders.


[On the hive ship, Beckett's working on a console intently, then moves over to another console & puts a crystal into it, which brings up a display.]
McKay: What is it? You got something?
Beckett: No.
McKay: You sure? You've got one of those... "Beckett" faces.



[McKay finds Beckett in the infirmary, working on a computer.]
McKay: There you are! I've been calling you.
Beckett: Oh, I'm sorry. What's up?
McKay: Lorne's team just found a suitable planet for the villagers. They're gonna move them out this afternoon.
Beckett: Aye, I heard, I'm going with them.
McKay: Oh. Right. Of course. Um, well, you wanna grab some lunch? We didn't get a chance to socialise this time round. Unless you count running through the halls of a hive ship as "social time".
Beckett: Aye, you're right. Look, I'd love to, Rodney, but I really need to get through this.
McKay: Well, what is it?
Beckett: Dr Keller's research on the syrum that keeps my cells from deteriorating. I think there might be something in here to help the plague survivours, since I'm not getting the infections that they are.
McKay: Well, you don't have to do this now. I can just download it to a drive, you can just, y'know, take it with you.
Beckett: Actually, ya can't. Mr Woolsey doesn't want it leaving the base.
McKay: [looks put out] Oh.
Beckett: I'm sorry, Rodney.
McKay: Well, I don't care. I was just trying to stop you from whining about never seeing me. Alright!
[McKay starts to walk away. Beckett looks guiltily resigned.]
Beckett: Rodney, wait. Now that I think of it, I am a wee bit peckish. Besides, I can't solve all the galaxy's problems in one day, can I?
McKay: [mumbles] Well, it's...
Beckett: Shut it. Right, let's go.
[Beckett gets up & puts on his jacket as he starts to leave with Rodney, giving him a friendly pat on the back.]
Beckett: So, ya interested in anyone these days?
McKay: [mumbles] Me? I don't, I don't have... time for that.
Beckett: [teasing] You're a terrible liar, Dr McKay. Tell me, tell me, tell me.


Feel the love.
dolfyn.