Walterisms - The Place for Your Favorite Walter Quotes

[LtColCarter]

LOL, only Walter would ask such as question!

Very true...very true!

[starg8fans]

Peter: [on cell phone] Walter, I'm with a woman in her mid 20's. She is going into cardiac arrest due to an overdose of anesthesia. Her heart just stopped.

Walter: Do you have any cocaine?

Peter: Cocaine? No, I don't have any cocaine...

Walter: Oh - That's too bad. You'll have to shock her heart then.

LOL, only Walter would ask such as question!

[LtColCarter]

Peter: [on cell phone] Walter, I'm with a woman in her mid 20's. She is going into cardiac arrest due to an overdose of anesthesia. Her heart just stopped.

Walter: Do you have any cocaine?

Peter: Cocaine? No, I don't have any cocaine...

Walter: Oh - That's too bad. You'll have to shock her heart then.

[starg8fans]

From Transformation:

WALTER (to Peter, watching Olivia and Charlie interviewing a suspect): This is wonderful, isn't it? It's just like a good detective story.


OLIVIA: Cut open his hand.
PETER: What?
OLIVIA: I want to see if there's a disk in it. Like Bowman's.
WALTER: I like cutting.


WALTER: I have a recorded IQ of... (stops to think)
ASTRID: 196.
WALTER: Really?

[starg8fans]

Walter: Let's make LSD.

Good one! Short but oh so Walter.

On the same topic, from Bound:

PETER: Walter - what are you doing?
WALTER: I'm dosing a caterpillar.
PETER: Dosing? As in LSD?
WALTER: Well... it's a special blend.
PETER: I see. Hey, guess what just happened.
WALTER: Hmmm?
PETER: Finding out that my father is giving drugs to bugs - somehow just became a typical moment in my life.
WALTER: It's wonderful, isn't it?

[AresLover452]

Walter: Let's make LSD.

[LtColCarter]

LOL, totally forgot about that one. That must be from the very beginning, isn't it?

This one's more recent, from Entrada. A Walter double whammy.

WALTER: It's all because of that temptress. She tricked my son with her carnal manipulations and he fell right into her vagenda.
ASTRID: Vagenda?
WALTER: Like Mata Hari using her feminine wiles to accomplish her evil ends. And I too fell prey. She used my stomach to get through to my heart.

The way John Noble delivered those lines was just priceless.

I love it!

[starg8fans]

:eter hangs up phone after talking to Olivia::
Walter: What was that about? Is everything ok?

Peter: Yeah, I tried charging some Lakers/Knicks tickets to our expense account and she caught me.

Walter: Oh dear, I hope she doesn't the $12,000 in baboon sperm I ordered. Now that I think about it, I can't remember what I needed it for.

LOL, totally forgot about that one. That must be from the very beginning, isn't it?

This one's more recent, from Entrada. A Walter double whammy.

WALTER: It's all because of that temptress. She tricked my son with her carnal manipulations and he fell right into her vagenda.
ASTRID: Vagenda?
WALTER: Like Mata Hari using her feminine wiles to accomplish her evil ends. And I too fell prey. She used my stomach to get through to my heart.

The way John Noble delivered those lines was just priceless.

[FringeFan84]

:eter hangs up phone after talking to Olivia::
Walter: What was that about? Is everything ok?

Peter: Yeah, I tried charging some Lakers/Knicks tickets to our expense account and she caught me.

Walter: Oh dear, I hope she doesn't the $12,000 in baboon sperm I ordered. Now that I think about it, I can't remember what I needed it for.

[starg8fans]

Just re-watched The Box, and there were several noteworthy Walterisms in that one:

WALTER: Peter, these cacao beans, they're inedible. Gene will never be able to digest them.
PETER: She's a cow, Walter. She could probably digest the frying pan.
BROYLES: What is he doing?
PETER: Oh, you don't want to know.
WALTER: I'm trying to make chocolate milk. Or rather, I'm trying to make the cow make chocolate milk.

WALTER: Nostradamus is said to have died standing up, but I highly doubt that someone who predicted his own death wouldn't have laid down.

WALTER: (looking at Astrid cutting thin cross-sections of brain for the microscope) Oh, that's very good, dear. Have you ever worked behind a deli counter?

PETER: (to Broyles) We're talking about two universes here. Two of each one of us. At this point, would anything really surprise you?
WALTER: Bacon-flavored pudding. That would surprise me.

[LtColCarter]

WALTER: (to Peter, after a body falls from the roof and crashes onto a car right next to them) I sure hope agent Dunham meeant to do this.

[starg8fans]

WALTER: (to Peter, after a body falls from the roof and crashes onto a car right next to them) I sure hope agent Dunham meeant to do this.

[LtColCarter]

Walter: To understand what happened at the diner, we use Mr. Papaya.

[he places the papaya in the container and steps back]

Walter: This is upsetting because he is the friendliest of fruits.

[starg8fans]

Found another in The Bishop Revival today:

WALTER: It simply requires a heat source to disperse it into the air.
OLIVIA: What about a cup of tea?
WALTER: Oh, yes, thank you. Hmm? Oh! Oh, yes, yes, that would work. As long as the water was hot enough.

[LtColCarter]

From Momentum Deferred:
WALTER: Let's see how this thing operates.
ASTRID: What are you saying, that this is not a person?
WALTER: My dear, I'm not certain that you're not simply a figment of my imagination

Also, I always LOL in Fracture when Peter unpacks a burger in the lab, and when he bites into it Gene moos loudly.
WALTER: Peter... if you are going to eat that cheeseburger in here, could you at least be a little discreet?

And one more from Inner Child:
WALTER: (to pediatritian) Unless you have an IQ higher than mine, I'm not interested in what you think.

I love those scenes