Favorite Serenity / Firefly one-liners

[Ascended Times.2]

While we're on the line of Early and "Objects in space"...

Simon: "Are you Alliance?"
Early mishearing it: "Am I a lion?"
Simon: "What?"
Early: "I don't think i've ever called myself a lion...but yeah, i guess you could say I am."
Simon: "I said, Are you Alliance?"
Early: "Oh I thought you said..."
Simon: "Yeah."
Early: "That's...Weird."

[Madeleine]

Mal: Ship like this... be with you 'till the day you die.
Zoe: Cos it's a deathtrap.

[Elite Anubis Guard]

K, here it goes:

Jayne (about Kaylee): Captain, can you stop her from bein' cheerful, please?
Mal: I don't believe there is a power in the 'verse that can stop Kaylee from being cheerful. Sometimes you just wanna duct tape her mouth and dump her in the hold for a month.
Kaylee: I love my captain

Mal: Jayne, your mouth is talking. You might wanna look to that.

Mal: Kaylee, what the hell's going on in the engine room? Were there monkeys? Some terrifying space monkeys maybe got loose? (Space Monkeys, hehehe!!!!)

Zoe: Sir, I think you have a problem with your brain being missing.

Kaylee: Yes, sir, Captain Tight-Pants.

Harrow: Whom do you represent?
Mal: "Represent" isn't exactly the...
Harrow: Don't waste my time.
Mal: Fellow called Badger.
Harrow: I know him, and I think he's a psychotic lowlife.
Mal: And I think calling him that is an insult to the psychotic lowlife community.

River: Little soul, big world. Eat, sleep and eat. Many souls.
Mal: Cattle on the ship three weeks, she don't go near 'em. Suddenly we're on Jiangyin, and she's got a driving need to commune with the beasts.
River: They weren't cows inside. They were waiting to be, but they forgot. Now they see the sky, and they remember what they are.
Mal: Is it bad that what she said made perfect sense to me?

Zoe: Captain will come up with a plan.
Kaylee: Well, that's good. Right?
Zoe: Possible you're not recalling some of his previous plans.

Mal: Well, look at this! Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoe: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just?

Mal: You know, you're all makin' a big deal. I would appreciate it if one person on this boat would not assume that I'm an evil, lecherous hump.
Zoe: Nobody's saying that, sir.
Wash: Yeah, we're pretty much just giving each other significant glances and laughing incessantly.

Mal: Can I come in?
Inara: No.
Mal: See? That's why I usually don't ask.

Jayne: Um... I'm no good with words. Don't... don't use 'em much myself. But I want to thank you all for bein' here, and uh, thinkin' so much of me. Uh... far as I see it, you people been given the shortest end of the stick ever been offered a human soul in this crap-heel 'verse. But you took that end and you... well, you took it. And that's... well, I guess that's somethin'.
Kaylee: Wow. That didn't sound half bad.
Mal: I'm shocked my own self.

River: Just keep walkin', preacher man.

Simon: You are my beautiful sister.
River: I threw up on your bed.
Simon: Yep. Definitely my sister.

Wash: Hey, I've been in a firefight before! ... Well, I was in a fire. ... Actually, I was fired from a fry-cook opportunity. I can handle myself.

Wash: I mean, I'm the one she swore to love, honor and obey.
Mal: Listen...She swore to obey?
Wash: Well, no.

Zoe: Jayne. This is something the Captain has to do for himself.
Mal: No! No, it's not!
Zoe: Oh.

Inara: Right. You're a criminal mastermind. What was the last cargo we snuck past the Alliance to transport?
Mal: We made a perfectly good piece --
Inara: What was the cargo?
Mal: They were dolls!
Inara: They were little geisha dolls with big heads that wobbled!
Mal: People love those!

Inara: Well, since I can't seem to find work as companion, I might as well become a petty thief like you!
Mal: Petty.
Inara: I didn't mean petty.
Mal: What did you mean?
Inara: Suo-shee?
Mal: That's Chinese for petty.

Jayne: (of his new hat) How's it sit? Pretty cunning, don'tchya think?
Kaylee: I think it's the sweetest hat ever.
Book: Makes a statement.
Jayne: Yeah, yeah!
Wash: A man walks down the street in that hat, people know he's not afraid of anything.
Jayne: Damn straight

Jayne: Good. 'cause I don't know these folks. Don't much care to.
Mal: They're whores.
Jayne: I'm in.

Kaylee: Everybody's got somebody. Wash, tell me I'm pretty.
Wash: Were I unwed, I would take you in a manly fashion.
Kaylee: 'Cause I'm pretty?
Wash: "Cause your pretty.

Jayne: Whoa now, girl, that's just plain dirty--
Mal: Jayne...you aware your radio's transmittin'? Cause I ain't feelin' particular girlish or dirty at the moment.

Wash: Little River just gets more colorful by the moment. What'll she do next?
Zoe: Either blow us all up or rub soup in our hair. It's a toss-up.
Wash: I hope she does the soup thing. It's always a hoot, and we don't all die from it.

Jayne: Anybody remember her comin' at me with a butcher's knife?
Wash: Wacky fun.
Jayne: You wanna go, little man?
Wash: Only if it's someplace with candlelight.

Zoe: Sir, I know she's unpredictable, but I don't think she'd harm anyone.
Jayne: Butcher's knife!
Zoe: Anyone we can't spare.

Jayne: Well...I don't like the idea of someone hearin' what I'm thinkin'.
Inara: No one likes the idea of hearing what you're thinking.

Simon: You're out of your mind.
Early: That's between me and my mind.

Simon: (sing-song) Come on out, River. The nice man wants to kidnap you.
Early: Where'd she go?
Simon: I can't keep track of her when she's not incorporeally possessing a space ship.

Mal: Go on. Get in there. Give your brother a thrashing for messing up your plan.
River: He takes so much looking after.


And from the Movie: "I swallowed a bug," River. That line cracks me up. Even after 4 times seeing it.

LOL this post just had me chuckling all the time I was reading it. God Firefly rocks.

[Na'onac]

K, here it goes:

Jayne (about Kaylee): Captain, can you stop her from bein' cheerful, please?
Mal: I don't believe there is a power in the 'verse that can stop Kaylee from being cheerful. Sometimes you just wanna duct tape her mouth and dump her in the hold for a month.
Kaylee: I love my captain

Mal: Jayne, your mouth is talking. You might wanna look to that.

Mal: Kaylee, what the hell's going on in the engine room? Were there monkeys? Some terrifying space monkeys maybe got loose? (Space Monkeys, hehehe!!!!)

Zoe: Sir, I think you have a problem with your brain being missing.

Kaylee: Yes, sir, Captain Tight-Pants.

Harrow: Whom do you represent?
Mal: "Represent" isn't exactly the...
Harrow: Don't waste my time.
Mal: Fellow called Badger.
Harrow: I know him, and I think he's a psychotic lowlife.
Mal: And I think calling him that is an insult to the psychotic lowlife community.

River: Little soul, big world. Eat, sleep and eat. Many souls.
Mal: Cattle on the ship three weeks, she don't go near 'em. Suddenly we're on Jiangyin, and she's got a driving need to commune with the beasts.
River: They weren't cows inside. They were waiting to be, but they forgot. Now they see the sky, and they remember what they are.
Mal: Is it bad that what she said made perfect sense to me?

Zoe: Captain will come up with a plan.
Kaylee: Well, that's good. Right?
Zoe: Possible you're not recalling some of his previous plans.

Mal: Well, look at this! Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoe: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just?

Mal: You know, you're all makin' a big deal. I would appreciate it if one person on this boat would not assume that I'm an evil, lecherous hump.
Zoe: Nobody's saying that, sir.
Wash: Yeah, we're pretty much just giving each other significant glances and laughing incessantly.

Mal: Can I come in?
Inara: No.
Mal: See? That's why I usually don't ask.

Jayne: Um... I'm no good with words. Don't... don't use 'em much myself. But I want to thank you all for bein' here, and uh, thinkin' so much of me. Uh... far as I see it, you people been given the shortest end of the stick ever been offered a human soul in this crap-heel 'verse. But you took that end and you... well, you took it. And that's... well, I guess that's somethin'.
Kaylee: Wow. That didn't sound half bad.
Mal: I'm shocked my own self.

River: Just keep walkin', preacher man.

Simon: You are my beautiful sister.
River: I threw up on your bed.
Simon: Yep. Definitely my sister.

Wash: Hey, I've been in a firefight before! ... Well, I was in a fire. ... Actually, I was fired from a fry-cook opportunity. I can handle myself.

Wash: I mean, I'm the one she swore to love, honor and obey.
Mal: Listen...She swore to obey?
Wash: Well, no.

Zoe: Jayne. This is something the Captain has to do for himself.
Mal: No! No, it's not!
Zoe: Oh.

Inara: Right. You're a criminal mastermind. What was the last cargo we snuck past the Alliance to transport?
Mal: We made a perfectly good piece --
Inara: What was the cargo?
Mal: They were dolls!
Inara: They were little geisha dolls with big heads that wobbled!
Mal: People love those!

Inara: Well, since I can't seem to find work as companion, I might as well become a petty thief like you!
Mal: Petty.
Inara: I didn't mean petty.
Mal: What did you mean?
Inara: Suo-shee?
Mal: That's Chinese for petty.

Jayne: (of his new hat) How's it sit? Pretty cunning, don'tchya think?
Kaylee: I think it's the sweetest hat ever.
Book: Makes a statement.
Jayne: Yeah, yeah!
Wash: A man walks down the street in that hat, people know he's not afraid of anything.
Jayne: Damn straight

Jayne: Good. 'cause I don't know these folks. Don't much care to.
Mal: They're whores.
Jayne: I'm in.

Kaylee: Everybody's got somebody. Wash, tell me I'm pretty.
Wash: Were I unwed, I would take you in a manly fashion.
Kaylee: 'Cause I'm pretty?
Wash: "Cause your pretty.

Jayne: Whoa now, girl, that's just plain dirty--
Mal: Jayne...you aware your radio's transmittin'? Cause I ain't feelin' particular girlish or dirty at the moment.

Wash: Little River just gets more colorful by the moment. What'll she do next?
Zoe: Either blow us all up or rub soup in our hair. It's a toss-up.
Wash: I hope she does the soup thing. It's always a hoot, and we don't all die from it.

Jayne: Anybody remember her comin' at me with a butcher's knife?
Wash: Wacky fun.
Jayne: You wanna go, little man?
Wash: Only if it's someplace with candlelight.

Zoe: Sir, I know she's unpredictable, but I don't think she'd harm anyone.
Jayne: Butcher's knife!
Zoe: Anyone we can't spare.

Jayne: Well...I don't like the idea of someone hearin' what I'm thinkin'.
Inara: No one likes the idea of hearing what you're thinking.

Simon: You're out of your mind.
Early: That's between me and my mind.

Simon: (sing-song) Come on out, River. The nice man wants to kidnap you.
Early: Where'd she go?
Simon: I can't keep track of her when she's not incorporeally possessing a space ship.

Mal: Go on. Get in there. Give your brother a thrashing for messing up your plan.
River: He takes so much looking after.


And from the Movie: "I swallowed a bug," River. That line cracks me up. Even after 4 times seeing it.

Gotta love the quotes......have I seen this site somewhere????

[SlytherinGal]

i have a lot of favorite one-liners from the movie, but don't want to spoil anyone who hasn't seen it yet

Spoiler:

"I'm a leaf on the wind, watch how I soar" (that's my favorite one)

[StillFlyin']

Wash: She's terse, i can be terse. Once in flight school i was laconic.

[White Knight]

Spoiler:

http://www08.megaupload.com/files/85.../Batteries.wma

[Elite Anubis Guard]

I can't be bothered to get that, is that where Jayne says something about Kaylee's lack of sex?

[White Knight]

I can't be bothered to get that, is that where Jayne says something about Kaylee's lack of sex?

Sorta.

[Hex.FTB.enabled]

Kaylee: No one's saying that.
Wash: No one but Jayne is saying that.

Mal: If your hand touches metal, I swear by my pretty floral bonnet I will end you.

Mal: No!
Wash: Yes!
Mal: No!
Wash: Yes!
Mal: No!
Wash: Yes!

Mal: Define "interesting."
Wash: Oh god, oh god, we're all gonna die?

[Crazedwraith]

Since no one actually seeems to be resticting themselves to one line one liners I nominate this scene from "Our Mrs. Reynolds": (note this is done from memory so is no where near line for line)

Mal (walking away from Inara): I wasn't looking for a fight!
Vera: Clicks dramatically.
Mal: I always do seem to fight one though...
Jayne: I get the feeling you all done give me the respect I deserve, I think that should change.
Mal: Do you think its likely to?
Jayne: Six men came to kill me one time, the best of them carried this. It a callahan fullbore, auto lock, with customised through gauge. -holds out Vera- This is my very favourite gun.
Mal- *Splutters in chinese* Are you offering me a TRADE?!?!
Jayne: Trade? Hell Its theft! This is the best gun made by man and it has extreme sentimentsl value. It way more value than what you got.
Mal: She has name.
Jayne: So does this! I call her Vera.
Mal: Well my days of not taking you seriously are certinaly coming to a middle.

Of course the best part of this is version in the gag reel:

Mal: Well my days of not taking you seriously are certinaly coming to a middle.
Adam Baldwin: DAMMIT MAL! i forgot my line!

[Tracker]

I'm rather fond of Jayne's line from the movie:

"If you can't do something smart, do something right."

Philosophy from Jayne Cobb....who knew???

[Easter Lily]

I'm rather fond of Jayne's line from the movie:

"If you can't do something smart, do something right."

Philosophy from Jayne Cobb....who knew???

Well, strictly speaking it's from Shepherd Book... But it's still startling that Jayne actually remembered it and applied it correctly... for that he should be applauded...

[Ascended Times.2]

-Applaudes-

[White Knight]

I love that line, not just because of the words - which are great, and can be applied to your own life - but because its Jayne who says it. Its his way of saying "I'm gonna do the right thing", and no one else needs to say a thing, because you know that if Jayne the mercenary is willing to do what's right, everyone else is too.