Originally posted by Dr Weir
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A divorced woman is walking along a beach one day when she discovers an odd oil lamp. She polishes it a little and a genie appears. "Hello, mistress. I will grant you three wishes. You must know, though, that whatever you ask for, your ex-husband will recieve twice as much." Excitedly, the woman begins making her wishes. "First, I'd like $1 million." The genie nods and tells her that she now has $1 million in her bank account. Meanwhile, her ex-husband checks his ATM balance and discovers he has another $2 million dollars. "Now I'd like a new car." A puff of smoke is seen, and a new car appears as it fades. Meanwhile, the ex-husband arrives at home and notices he has two new cars parked outside his house, and he has two extra keys on his keychain. "And what is your final wish, mistress?" The woman thinks for a second and says, "For my third wish, I want you to scare me half to death."
BTW, is anyone else getting this "database error" screen?Cogito ergo dubito.
"How happy are the astrologers if they tell one truth to a hundred lies, while other people lose all credibility if they tell one lie to a hundred truths." - Francesco Guicciardini
An escalator can never be broken, it can only become stairs. You never see "Escalator temporarily out of service." It's "Escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience." - Mitch Hedberg
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It's getting annoying... Hopefully it'll go away.Cogito ergo dubito.
"How happy are the astrologers if they tell one truth to a hundred lies, while other people lose all credibility if they tell one lie to a hundred truths." - Francesco Guicciardini
An escalator can never be broken, it can only become stairs. You never see "Escalator temporarily out of service." It's "Escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience." - Mitch Hedberg
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Originally posted by Dr WeirI keep getting that too. I wish the mods would stop that comptelely, any1 know why they can't?Cogito ergo dubito.
"How happy are the astrologers if they tell one truth to a hundred lies, while other people lose all credibility if they tell one lie to a hundred truths." - Francesco Guicciardini
An escalator can never be broken, it can only become stairs. You never see "Escalator temporarily out of service." It's "Escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience." - Mitch Hedberg
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Originally posted by srgCould be anything really. That's the trouble.Cogito ergo dubito.
"How happy are the astrologers if they tell one truth to a hundred lies, while other people lose all credibility if they tell one lie to a hundred truths." - Francesco Guicciardini
An escalator can never be broken, it can only become stairs. You never see "Escalator temporarily out of service." It's "Escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience." - Mitch Hedberg
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A guy to his Girlfriend :
I wrote ur name on the sands.............
it got washed away,
I wrote ur name in air..........................
it got blown away,
So i wrote ur name in my heart.............
i got a HEART ATTACKThe doctor told me Im insane, thank God! its so much better then being outsane!
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George Bush goes to a primary school to give a speech.
After his talk he offers question time.
One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him what his name is. "Bob".
"And what is your question, Bob?"
"I have 3 questions.
First, Why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
Second, Why are you President when Kerry got more votes?
And third, What happened to Osama Bin Laden?
Just then the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.
When they resume George says, "OK, where were we?
Oh that's right --- question time. Who has a question?"
A different little boy puts up his hand . George points him out and asks him what his name is. "Steve"
"And what is your question, Steve?"
"I have 5 questions.
First, Why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
Second, Why are you President when Kerry got more votes?
Third, What happened to Osama Bin Laden?
Fourth, Why did the recess bell go 20 minutes early?!
And fifth, Where is "Bob"? !!
That one made me laughThe doctor told me Im insane, thank God! its so much better then being outsane!
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Originally posted by EoinGeorge Bush goes to a primary school to give a speech.
After his talk he offers question time.
One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him what his name is. "Bob".
"And what is your question, Bob?"
"I have 3 questions.
First, Why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
Second, Why are you President when Kerry got more votes?
And third, What happened to Osama Bin Laden?
Just then the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.
When they resume George says, "OK, where were we?
Oh that's right --- question time. Who has a question?"
A different little boy puts up his hand . George points him out and asks him what his name is. "Steve"
"And what is your question, Steve?"
"I have 5 questions.
First, Why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
Second, Why are you President when Kerry got more votes?
Third, What happened to Osama Bin Laden?
Fourth, Why did the recess bell go 20 minutes early?!
And fifth, Where is "Bob"? !!
That one made me laughsigpic
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