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@ TP - have now finished it and Wow! The world through the eyes of a Wraith is brilliantly descriptive writing. I wasn't expecting the story to go the way it did - very imaginative and a beautiful ending.
Spoiler:
A couple of things I noticed.
The straight lines and hard angles of such modern human architecture looked harsh, aggressive and welcoming, as I experienced it through him and felt how much it offended his sense of beauty.
I think you made a typo there and it should be unwelcoming.
You've also got two chapter sevens - I noticed this when I did a browser find to resume reading from where I left off.
Well done, TP, for getting back in the saddle. As 't'were... Very nice, and as romantic as I'd expect.
Gosh, I didn't expect you to read it, hon - it was looooong (you know what Todd's like once he gets going! )and I know you're busy. Getting back intot he saddle with our beloved Commander is something I am rathe rpleased about
@ TP - have now finished it and Wow! The world through the eyes of a Wraith is brilliantly descriptive writing. I wasn't expecting the story to go the way it did - very imaginative and a beautiful ending.
Spoiler:
A couple of things I noticed.
I think you made a typo there and it should be unwelcoming.
You've also got two chapter sevens - I noticed this when I did a browser find to resume reading from where I left off.
Yep, there are more typos than that too... eg "Stick sucking on my fingers..." Should of course be "Still sucking on my fingers..."
And no, there's nothing sexual about that scene!!! )
It doesn't matter how many times you read it, you can never fully proofread your own work - simply because you've worked on it a lot, you just don't see them; your brian sees what it knows should be there rather than what really is there
Glad you both enjoyed it *hugs*
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Thanks to Draco-Stellaris for the gorgeous Todd avatar
It doesn't matter how many times you read it, you can never fully proofread your own work - simply because you've worked on it a lot, you just don't see them; your brian sees what it knows should be there rather than what really is there
I know exactly what you mean. Back in the days when my friend and I run fanzines my friend said something like this in an editorial - "We think we've caught all the typos but when the zine's been printed they leap out thumbing their noses at us."
I know exactly what you mean. Back in the days when my friend and I run fanzines my friend said something like this in an editorial - "We think we've caught all the typos but when the zine's been printed they leap out thumbing their noses at us."
Yep, it's an occupational hazard of editors - and it's usually always in 20pt font too!!!
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