Things You Wouldn't Want To Hear in the Tardis or in the Torchwood Hub

[Allestian]

Doctor: What's that look for???
Donna: How many suits do you have???
Doctor: One.
Donna: Shirts???
Doctor: One.
Doctor: Socks!?
Doctor: One...pair.
Donna: Ties!!!
Doctor: Ah!!! Well that's different!!! Two. Why???
Donna: How often do you wash them???
Doctor: Erm...
Donna: Laundrette!!! Now!!!

[JJSNgadget]

Doctor: What's that look for???
Donna: How many suits do you have???
Doctor: One.
Donna: Shirts???
Doctor: One.
Doctor: Socks!?
Doctor: One...pair.
Donna: Ties!!!
Doctor: Ah!!! Well that's different!!! Two. Why???
Donna: How often do you wash them???
Doctor: Erm...
Donna: Laundrette!!! Now!!!

I love that: one...pair.

That only works if it's the Ninth doctor. Ten has two suits, and many shirts. I remember from series 2 and 3.

DOCTOR: But, Rose always did my laundry. Well, her mum did.
DONNA: Are you telling me you don't know how to do laundry?
DOCTOR: It's not something I ever worried about.
DONNA: Now, you're gonna learn, come on.
DOCTOR: *grumble, insult*
DONNA: What did you say?
DOCTOR: Nothing.

[Allestian]

Doctor: You know, there was once this planet where the sea looked this -
Donna: Oi!!! Fly boy!!! Pay attention!!!
Doctor: Fly boy??? What happened to Martian???
Donna: You complained too much!!!
Doctor: What if I complain about 'Fly boy'???
Donna: Then I'll make sure your trousers are small enough to fit a teddy.

Doctor: Uh-oh.
Donna: What???
Doctor: We need to refuel. Got to stop off at Cardiff...
Donna: Cardiff!!!
Doctor: Everywhere I go, always the same thing. "Cardiff??? Why do we have to stop at Cardiff???" Well I'll tell you why!!! There's a rift in time and space that runs through this place that feeds energy into the TARDIS. Happy???
Donna: How long will it take???
Doctor: Oh I dunno...long enough to watch a rugby match, see a play...get a bit too close with an old colleague...
Donna: Oh really??? And what do you mean about being close???
Doctor looks at Donna.
Doctor: Oh...nothing that's going to affect you.

(Oh no, after going off the Gwen bashing I'm now onto Donna bashing - what is wrong with me???)

[JJSNgadget]

Doctor: You know, there was once this planet where the sea looked this -
Donna: Oi!!! Fly boy!!! Pay attention!!!
Doctor: Fly boy??? What happened to Martian???
Donna: You complained too much!!!
Doctor: What if I complain about 'Fly boy'???
Donna: Then I'll make sure your trousers are small enough to fit a teddy.

Doctor: Uh-oh.
Donna: What???
Doctor: We need to refuel. Got to stop off at Cardiff...
Donna: Cardiff!!!
Doctor: Everywhere I go, always the same thing. "Cardiff??? Why do we have to stop at Cardiff???" Well I'll tell you why!!! There's a rift in time and space that runs through this place that feeds energy into the TARDIS. Happy???
Donna: How long will it take???
Doctor: Oh I dunno...long enough to watch a rugby match, see a play...get a bit too close with an old colleague...
Donna: Oh really??? And what do you mean about being close???
Doctor looks at Donna.
Doctor: Oh...nothing that's going to affect you.

(Oh no, after going off the Gwen bashing I'm now onto Donna bashing - what is wrong with me???)

OWEN: "Hello, Donna. What, no sweetcheeks, sugarpie, honey? Kissy-kissy."

[Allestian]

Oh boy...

Thank goodness this isn't a competition for a prize...

Donna: Ooooh!!! Aren't you a star!?!?
Doctor: Erm...Donna, there's something I should mention.
Donna: Shut up Fly boy!!! This has got nought to do with you!!!
Doctor: Well...yes...apart from the little issue of...
Donna: Whatever it is Doctor, I'm sure it can wait!!!
Doctor: But...
Donna walks off with Owen.
Doctor: (Whispers) You're going on a date with a dead man...

Doctor: Jack??? You can come back with me...all is forgiven.
Jack: Thanks but I need to stay here.
Doctor: No I mean it, please come back with me.
Jack: But...
Doctor: Now...
Jack: What's her name???
Doctor: What makes you think I'm hiding from a -
Jack: What...is...her...name???
Doctor: Donna. Help me.

[JJSNgadget]

JACK: Donna? Donna Noble? Ooohoohoooo! *laughs*
DOCTOR: Laugh it up, She's dating Owen.
JACK: Fu(k I'll never get rid of her now.
DOCTOR: *laughs*

[Allestian]

My chair just broke...there's a sharp metal piece that could hit my leg...

Anywho...

Jack: Owen???
Owen: Hmm???
Jack: You and Donna???
Owen: She's a cow...
Jack: Really???
Owen: Found out I was dead and ran for the hills.
Jack: I was wondering...
Owen: If you want to shoot her...be my guest...
Jack claps his hands happily.

(Oh no...this is going to far)

[JJSNgadget]

My chair just broke...there's a sharp metal piece that could hit my leg...

Did it break because you were laughing too hard, or leaning back, or was it natural wear and tear. I have a wooden chair.

IANTO: Lots of things you can do with a chair, sir.
JACK: Oh yeah?

[Allestian]

It's metal...it's wear and tear...and me sitting on it in the wrong manner...

Ianto: The new vibrating chairs just arrived sir...
Jack: Humans and their quaint needs...
Ianto: It comes with five settings apparently.
Jack: Oh really!?!?

[Coco Pops]

I guess we just have the same cultural background. What was your local forum about?

It was a local TV forum in the TV section of Behind Big Brother.. There are a couple of Dr. Who threads going there and I started one with my parodies and asked for more.. But all I am getting is replies consisting of rows of ...............................

Can someone explain all this myfawny stuff? who is Myfawny?

[Allestian]

Can someone explain all this myfawny stuff? who is Myfawny?

Myfanwy is the Torchwood pterodactyl. The nickname was picked up somewhere but she's becoming quite the legend now.

[Coco Pops]

Myfanwy is the Torchwood pterodactyl. The nickname was picked up somewhere but she's becoming quite the legend now.

I can tell......... And she's tame?

[Allestian]

And she's tame?

Nope!!! That's what makes her so much fun...especially to write about.

So back to the fun...

Jack: Hello...
Doctor: Stop flirting!!!
Jack: I'm not flirting!!!
Doctor: Yes you are!!!
Jack: What makes you say that!?
Doctor: Saying hello is flirting to you.
Jack: I'm talking to Donna...
Doctor: Oh...

(Hence, the beginning and ending to Donna bashing today)

[Coco Pops]

Quote:
Originally Posted by ChocolateLovingEntity

Tardis flying through space

Donna's been playing in the wardrobe and found a tight red dress to match her hair.

Donna: "Doctor"
Doctor: "mumble mumble" head burried in Tardis guts as he works on its innards. "Yes Donna, mumble mumble"
Donna: "Oi!! Doctor" Doctor raises head
Donna: "Does my bum look big in this?" Doctor frowns and says nothing"

Sudden wooshy sounds and Jack materialises

Jack: "Well hello there....." as he checks out Donna
Doctor: "Oi you stop flirting"

Big whooshy sound Donna and Jack vanish

Wooshy sounds as Donna reeappears

Donna: "sigh" straightens hair
Donna: "OI Doctor where's the nursery?"
Doctor: "Oh no!!!!" slaps head and frowns.
Doctor: "Ok down the stairs two floors down past the bins two more floors down
and two doors away from the spa bath"

9 Months Later

Donna: "Doctor"
Doctor: "Yes"
Donna: sobs "Jack's run off with Owen" sob "and he wants custody of the
baby" sob "we named it Tara in honour of the Tardis since that's where he
picked me up from" sob

Doctor: "Oh that's fine whatever"
Donna: screams "Oi you never care, you never listen" throws stuff around the console room"

Doctor: "If it makes you happy I'll drop you off at Torchwood"
Donna: "Oi yep"

Wooshy sounds as the TARDIS lands

Donna runs out the Tardis into Torchwood with a big shiny axe

The city of New New York Billions Of Years In The Future Or thereabouts

Doctor: "Hello old friend"
Face of Boe: "Hello friend"
Doctor: "What is it"
Face of Boe: "You remember that time Donna ran into Torchwood wiht an axe?"

Doctor: "Yes friend"
Face of Boe: "well guess you know it's me Jack?"
Doctor: slaps his head "Oh doh,. and here I was thinking you were bullsh*tt*ng me"


fade to black...

[Allestian]

Very nice!!!



I was watching 'Gridlock' yesterday and kept looking at the Face of Boe going:

'Nah...nah...it couldn't...he's just kidding...but he does...nah!!!"



An entire 45min of me saying that.

[JJSNgadget]

DOCTOR: "Jack? What have you been doing to my hand that it's all gooey?
JACK: "He, he, he."


TOSH: "Owen, what are you doing!"
OWEN: "Well, it's not like I need them. Why can't I remove my organs and use my chest cavity to carry a concealed weapon?"


JACK: "Um, Ianto? Surprise."
IANTO: "Jack, why didn't you tell me 51st century men could get pregnant?"

[Allestian]

Something tells me that the Torchwood TPTB are going to bring the pregnant Jack into the programme at some point...



Ianto: Jack, I know that you like me but is the growling necessary?
(From the other side of the Hub)
Jack: What d'ya say!?

[JJSNgadget]

Ianto: Jack, I know that you like me but is the growling necessary?
(From the other side of the Hub)
Jack: What d'ya say!?

JACK: "No, no! Bad Myfanwy, bad! We do not eat the tea-boy."

[Allestian]

Cannot believe I'm going to write this...

Spoiler:

Jack: That's my job!!!

[JJSNgadget]

Cannot believe I'm going to write this...

Spoiler:

Jack: That's my job!!!

FTW
mental green

Jack: "Don't worry Ianto, I'll save you!"
*Da-da-da-dahhhhhhhhhhhhhh*
Ianto: "Oh, my hero." *swoon*