15.000 Chevrons

[Guest]

Chevron 1515 - Sorry... 'eight' sounds the same as 'ate'

***

A number twelve walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer.

"Sorry I can't serve you," states the barman.

"Why not?!" asks the number twelve with anger showing in its voice.

"You're under 18," replies the barman.

[Shanthaia]

chveron 1516 - thanks and

[Guest]

Chevron 1517 - You know any good jokes?

[Shanthaia]

chevron 1518 - not in english

[Guest]

Chevron 1519 - Shame

[Shanthaia]

chevron 1520 abuses th internet

The last words of a chemist:

1. And now the tasting test.

2. May that become hot?

3. And now a little bit from this...

4. ... and please keep that test tube alone!

5. And now shake it a bit.

6. Why is there no label on this bottle?

7. In which glass was my mineral water?

8. The bunsen burner *is* out!

9. Why does that stuff burn with a green flame?!?

10. *H* stands for Nitrogen - and that does *not* burn...

11. Oh, now I have spilt something...

12. First the acid, then the water...

13. And now the detonating gas problem.

14. This is a completely save experimental setup.

15. Where did I put my gloves?

16. O no, wrong beaker...

17. The fire alarm is just being tested.

18. Now you can take the protection window away...

19. And now keep it constant at 24 degrees celsius, 25... 26... 27...

20. Peter can you please help me. Peter!?! Peeeeeteeeeer?!?!?!?

21. I feel it how long 15 seconds are!

22. Something is wrong here...

23. Where do all those holes in my kettle come from?

24. Trust me - I know what I am doing.

25. And now a cigarette...

[Guest]

Chevron 1521 -

[Shanthaia]

chevron 1522 abuses the internet some more...

Top Ten ways to get thrown out of chemistry lab

10. Pretend an electron got stuck in your ear, and insist on describing the sound to others.

9. Give a cup of liquid nitrogen to a classmate and ask, "Does this taste funny to you?"

8. Consistently write three atoms of potassium as "KKK."

7. Mutter repeatedly, "Not again... not again... not again."

6. When it's very quiet, suddenly cry out, "My eyes!"

5. Deny the existence of chemicals.

4. Begin pronouncing everything your immigrant lab instructor says exactly the way he/she says it.

3. Casually walk to the front of the room and urinate in a beaker.

2. Pop a paper bag at the crucial moment when the professor is about to pour the sulfuric acid

1. Show up with a 55-gallon drum of fertilizer and express an interest in federal buildings.

[Guest]

Chevron 1523 -

[Shanthaia]

chevron 1524 - your turn

[Muh_tuttles]

1525 wants to be in the same Chemisty class as Shan

[Shanthaia]

chevron 1525 - normal chemistry classes are unfortunatly less fun, but more seriouse as they can be dangerouse

[Muh_tuttles]

1526 ah well, safe is good otherwise you wouldn't be able to chat with us if you were asploded.

[Guest]

Chevron 1528 encoded

Food one-liners...

The snack bar next door to an atom smasher was called "The Fission Chips."

On April Fools Day, a mother put a fire cracker under the pancakes. She blew her stack.

A new chef from India was fired a week after starting the job. He keep favoring curry.

A couple of kids tried using pickles for a Ping-Pong game. They had the volley of the Dills.

The four food groups: Fast, Frozen, Instant, and Chocolate.

A friend got some vinegar in his ear, now he suffers from pickled hearing.

Overweight is something that just sort of snacks up on you.

Sign in restaurant window: "Eat now - Pay waiter."

I thought you were trying to get into shape?
I am. The shape I've selected is a triangle.

[Shanthaia]

chevron 1529 *boom*