Jaffa Joke

[Kelt'ar]

LOL. Now thats funny!!!

[SaberBlade]

New Jaffa Joke, just because we should have a thread of Jaffa Jokes:

Baal had just won a major battle on a far off planet called Senna. He gathered his three most valiant Jaffa together to reward them for their cunning and great skill. Baal addressed them personally. He told them he would reward them with as much gold as could be measured between two points on their body. The first Jaffa stepped forward and said he would like to be measured between his two outstretched hands. Baal had the man measured and gave him 70 inches of pure gold. The next Jaffa stepped forward and said he would like to be measured between the top of his head and the tips of his toes. And so it was done. Baal rewarded him with 74 inches of pure gold. The last Jaffa stepped forward. He told Baal he wished to be measured between the thumb and little finger on his right hand. Baal thought this an odd request but agreed. He ordered the man’s hand measured. When the servant went to measure the hand, he showed Baal that the man’s little finger was missing. “Where is your little finger?” Baal demanded.
The Jaffa answered, “On Senna, My Lord.”

That is when Baal shot him with a Staff weapon.

That's good. I like that one. but I think your measurements are a bit wrong as 70 inches for stretched hands, yet 74 inches for an entire body.

[cowpants]

The first Jaffa has really big arms, and the second one has really small legs

[dzineguy84]

actually, a quick measure is that your arms from middle fingertip to middle fingertip when stretched horizontally is relatively close to your total vertical measurement from head to base of heel.

[Arctic Goddess]

Guys, it's just a joke. LOL

Want another one?

Col. Samantha Carter walked around the corner past General Landry’s office late one evening, to see the general standing beside the shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. He asked her, “Do you know how to work this thing? Walter has gone home and I don’t know how to do this”. Samantha Carter told Landry, “Yes, sir. I’ll take care of that for you”. She popped the paper in the shredder and watched it get shredded. “Now,” said General Landry, “I just need one copy.”

[Krisz]

Why did the Jaffa cross the road?

Because his God told him to.



cue: Tumble weed blowing past

Sorry, couldn't resist this, bad I know.......Okaaay I'm going!!!!

Excellent jokes Arctic Goddess, maybe you should compile an official Jaffa Joke book. Approved by the High Council first of course!!

[Arctic Goddess]

Why did the Jaffa cross the road?

Because his God told him to.



cue: Tumble weed blowing past

Sorry, couldn't resist this, bad I know.......Okaaay I'm going!!!!

Excellent jokes Arctic Goddess, maybe you should compile an official Jaffa Joke book. Approved by the High Council first of course!!

Lol....I thought your joke was cute.

Yes, I thought of a Jaffa Joke Book. I may yet do so....Indeed.

New Joke:

Ba'al's First Prime and his Jaffa return to Ba'al's Hat'ak after a long hard day of fighting.

“How are we faring?” asks Ba'al.

“My Lord,” replies the First Prime, “I have been robbing and pillaging on your behalf all day, destroying the worlds of your enemies in the next system.”

“What!” shrieks Ba'al. “I don't have any enemies in the next system!”

“Oh, no...” says the First Prime. "Well, you do now.”

[RepliHawk]

Why did the Jaffa cross the road?

Because his God told him to.

LOL

[M2W]

A Serpent guard, a Horus guard, and a Setesh guard gather on a neutral planet.

It is a tense moment. The Serpent guard's eyes glow. The Horus guard's beak glistens. The Setesh guard's....nose drips.

What episode did this happen in?

[SaberBlade]

It happens in the season 3 episode "Seth".

http://www.gateworld.net/sg1/s3/302.shtml

[M2W]

Thanks!

[the_dark_light]

Here's a possible Jaffa joke.

A Serpent guard, a Horus guard and a Se'tesh guard are captured by Ba'als forces. Ba'al decides to have them executed, so they're lined before a Jaffa firing squad.

Ba'al: Ready, aim......
Serpent Guard: (points to behind Ba'al) HURRICANE!

The other jaffa turn around and the serpent guard makes his escape. Ba'al is furious, but decides to go ahead with the other two.

Ba'al: Ready, aim......
Horus Guard: (also pointing) TORNADO!

The Jaffa fall for it again, and he makes his escape.

Ba'al: Ready, aim......
Set'esh Guard: (pointing) FIRE!

[Lucreleia]

Oh, in the name of Ra, I can't even make a joke in spanish, even less in english, so I just can't contribute, but I DO have to say to the jokes above:

[Krisz]

TPTB should write some more jokes for Teal'c to tell in the first movie. The team need as many moments of light relief as a break from the stress of fighting the Ori as they can get!


Knock Knock...
Who's there?
Jaffa of the mighty God Baal.

Hello?........anyone in there?
.....Hello?


Sorry I'm back with another daft moment, this thread appeals to my silly side!!

[Arctic Goddess]

TPTB should write some more jokes for Teal'c to tell in the first movie. The team need as many moments of light relief as a break from the stress of fighting the Ori as they can get!


Knock Knock...
Who's there?
Jaffa of the mighty God Baal.

Hello?........anyone in there?
.....Hello?


Sorry I'm back with another daft moment, this thread appeals to my silly side!!

Lol......Poor Ba'al. He's going to feel a little picked on.