Radio Atlantis

[Elles]

*sounds of Simon being burned*
Bob: God rom it Weir! Soothing Sounds of Pain is an oxymoron!
Weir: So?
Bob: Alright, I have no choice but to go back to the callers...
Sheppard: Yeah... Bob, we need reinforcements.
Bob: Ugh... next caller.
Harry Potter: I'm being attacked by Voldemort! Help me!
Bob: Next caller...
Harry Potter: Wa-
Fraiser Crane: Your ratings are higher than mine and I demand to know why!
Bob: Because we're not deranged psychologists... Well... Elles is...
Me: HEY!
Bob: But in a good way...

[Commander Jumper]

Me: Hi Bob...uhhhh I could use help
Bob: next caller
Me:no wait-
Bob: ok next caller
Wriath: this is uh thor *in fake womans voice* tell me Earths adress
bob: well how high is your clearance?
Wraith *still in womans voice* oh screw it
Bob: next caller
Howie: Quack
Bob: god!!! I thought you were only in the "Oh my God they Killed Daniel" thread
Howie: Quack!
Bob: next Caller
John: you know.....Pj1 tlaks just like that somtimes....
Bob: next caller
Vala: uhhh I'm having trouble in keeping my relationship alive
Bob: really whats wrong
Vala: well you see I'm dating Dr.Jackson

[Elles]

Bob: We have our resident psychologist with us right now...
Elles: I'm not a psychologist!!! Anyway... what did you say? You're dating Daniel? Oh dear... PJ1 is not going to like that...
Bob: This just in... PJ1 is dialing Earth...
Elles: I'd run if I were you... I have to go eat my pie.
Bob: Next caller...
Daniel Radcliffe: Seven d-
Elles: *grabs mic* Do us all a favor and don't do the sixth movie. Oh... and stop calling.
Bob: Next caller...

[Commander Jumper]

Me: uh yes this is King of town *does fake voice* and uhh I'm calling to tell you I stole you twenty dollars...so if you see me....kick me in the balls....cuz I'm a jerk and i'm king of town (homeStar runner refrence from Marzipans answering machine)
John: PJ1 stop pranking the radio
Me: aw John you blew my cover
Bob: ok next caller
Me: hello this is magazine man...I calling to tell you that your subscripdtion to tofu tree hugges magazine is going to erupt....LAVA SEEPING UNDER YOUR DOOR!!!!....listen...bake all your money into a apple, no cherry pie and leave it on the window sill...to protect it from the lava.....and oh my god it's erputing....
John: stop it
Bob: next caller
Strongbad: hello this is Marzapan....calling to ask you to save the F'ing trees..because they're pretty and to give me all your money..because the trees eat money and it will help them get better
Bob: that is touching....every one donate to Marzipans tree money eating foundaion today...next caller

[Elles]

PJ1: Hi John.
Bob: Go away!
Me: You know, PJ1... since you're away making your prank calls... *grabs Shep* John's all mine...
Bob: No! You're going to lure her here! Elles? Sheppard? *looks on floor* Oh... there you are... Next caller...

[Commander Jumper]

Me: Hi bob
Bob: uhhh Rodney's on the phone...yet I hear PJ1....
Me: Hi bob turn around
Bob: Elles you brought her here...with Rodney
Rodney *gagged* myhjsgsvnsn
Bob: next caller

[Elles]

Me: *looks up* So?
Will Ferrell: It's me again...
Me: I knew you'd call back... so I planted the biggest nuke I could find in your house... *goes back to what I was doing*
Will Ferrell: Wh-? *BOOM*

[Commander Jumper]

Bob: Ok Will is...off the air, next caller
Caller: Hi I'm Will Ferells son....Bill Ferell (hahahah that's my uncels ful name ...well my ex-unlce...him and my aunt brok up)
Bob: we'll now wait for Elles death fest to begin.....

[Elles]

Me: Kill... John! Fire Z missles!
Sheppard: But I'm tired...
Me: Ok... take a nap... THEN FIRE Z MISSLES!
Bob: And... next caller.
Daniel Radcliffe: Is this Radio Disney? I'd like to request a song...
Bob: *snarkastic voice* Yes it is... you can choose from Simon Drowning, or Simon Bleeding To Death
Weir: Both are some of my favorites from my new CD.
Daniel Radcliffe: Never mind...

[Commander Jumper]

ok now I know you've seen "end of ze world" I craked up when I saw that vid

Bob: ok now it's time for the counselling portion of our show....we have our counsellor Dr.Heightjumper to help us...our first caller
Lorne: I'm being staled by a psychoctic girl
Me: well then....I surgest that da lurv her back ya!!!!
Lorne: WTF???
Me: don't be using that kinda language round me child
Lorne: ok ok....
Bob: next caller
Ford: uhhh I'm being stalked too
Me: well sony boy..I suggest you court the young whipersnapper..your not gonna live forever
Bob: next caller
John: uhh I'm being Mauled by Elles and PJ1 is stlaking me and burning my clothes
Me: well laddie I suggest you let the little lasses do what they want..you should be flattered
Zelenka: why does your accent chage much
me: it's all in your head boy...D'oh
Bob: ok next segment

[Elles]

Elles: As I have promised you... I am doing another "Psychoanalytical Analysis of Kirking" with Dr. McKay as my subject... Dr. McKay welcome to my segment.
McKay: Thank you Elles. I tend not to get the recognition I deserve.
Elles: Dr. McKay... your case, though not as Colonel Sheppard's, is quite intriguing.
McKay: And why would that be?
Elles: You've Kirked with a man.
McKay: Oh God... I've explained many times that that was Cadman's fault.
Elles: Was it?
McKay: THIS INTERVIEW IS OVER!
Elles: That ended abruptly... John? Have you fired Z missles yet?
Sheppard: Yes...
Elles: Is Will Ferrell's son dead?
Sheppard: Yes...
Elles: You have pleased me...

[Commander Jumper]

John: I live to please beloved
Me: why do I feel like I've walked into a cheesy SciFi film and can't get out
Rodney: because you have...eat her brains...mmmm brains....*drool*
Me: wow and I thought it was only ion my dreams I could get Rodney to drool over me....

[Elles]

Bob: Ok ok ok! Stop that! It's getting off topic! Let's go back to the callers... Caller number one... you're on!
Teyla: Hello, is this Radio Atlantis?
Bob: No... it's Radio Disney.
Teyla: My mistake... *hangs up*
Bob: No wait! I was going to ask for her number... *tear* Next caller...
Nader: What's the best kind of pie?
Bob: No... no... no... no! Ralph! That camping trip was fun, but stop calling! Next caller!

[Commander Jumper]

Andrea Ferrell: Elles you killed my father
Elles: no I m our father....
Me: actually she has your fathers *radios goes dwon* in her fridge next to *goes down again* along with Rodneys.
Bob: wow....Elles eats those too
Andrea: wow that makes sense why Rodney acts like such a baby.

[Elles]

Elles: Ok... so I keep human flesh in my fridge. Truth is I feed it to my fish which I keep my picture of me and Joe Flanigan next too...
Sheppard: Who's Joe Flanigan?
Elles: He's you.
Sheppard: what?
Bob: Next caller...
Daniel Radcliffe: I've given it some more thought... ELLES, you're very mean to me!
Me: Oh John! I mean... *ahem* What was the question? Is that Daniel Radcliffe again? *loads shotgun and runs off*